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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be shocked at how many mners seem to condone smacking

780 replies

Cat98 · 03/05/2011 13:47

I am not talking about people who have smacked in anger and post saying "oh no, I lost it and smacked my DC" - everyone makes mistakes and no-one is perfect! I am talking about those who use smacking as a considered, pre meditated form of punishment/discipline. I know this was discussed a lot on another thread a few days ago, and I was pretty much told "each to their own" - but I am genuinely surprised that it seems to be a popular method here?

OP posts:
Mamaz0n · 03/05/2011 19:54

to revel in your poor parenting which results in a child being assaulted seems rather crass to me.

but i guess my ivory tower is just giving me a wedgie huh.

cannydoit · 03/05/2011 19:55

you said it lovely.

Gemsy83 · 03/05/2011 19:57

You dont like people implying being overweight means you sit stuffing your face all day and are lazy but its ok to imply those who smack their kids are lesser/evil/lazy parents?

AllDirections · 03/05/2011 19:57

We were away at the weekend and on Friday DD3 age 4 threw an almighty wobbler that went on for a good 45 minutes and included her hitting me, then running off before we had to leave to go to our next destination. She kept undoing her seat belt and I was so stressed driving that it put us all at risk.

Yesterday she started the same thing when it was time to set off home! I smacked her leg once sharply and she stopped. One alternative was to let her travel with no seat belt on whilst she threw herself around the car, obviously not acceptable!! We could have waited till she was ready to sit in the car properly. But why should we? The world does not revolve around her (and we'd still be there now).

How I wish I'd given her a smack on Friday and avoided putting us all in danger. Before I get do gooders telling me what I should have done to avoid the smack I had tried EVERYTHING. The tantrums were not caused by the travelling (before you make excuses for her) but because she wanted things immediately, won't wait and doesn't like being told no.

I was beaten as a child and it took me 10 years of being a parent to separate beating and smacking. I realise that my past clouded the way I felt about smacking. But now I know that smacking is NOT hitting/abusing/beating.

MilaMae · 03/05/2011 19:58

What a load of tosh. Along with most kids in the 70s I was smacked,assault pmsl.My parents were very loving parents and are the only people I entrust my kids with. I don't smack my dc but I bellow far more than my parents ever did which I think is no better half the time. I've got a very gentle partner whi neither smacks or bellows(he does however have the luxury of me as the disciplinarian).

It's really offensive to kids who have suffered abuse to label parents who have lost it now and again as abusers,bullies etc "baseball bat" Hmm.

Far too many parents think because they don't smack anything else goes and they're just fanbloodytastic in the parenting game.In reality I'm sorry but ranting,shouting,threatening when one looses ones temper is no better than a tap.

Abuse is continual daily hitting/beating,ranting,swearing,emotional belittling etc-an odd tap it is not.

Re those of you berating Sickoftheholidays in that situation as I don't smack I'd have frogmarched,hissing furiously then I'd have let loose with a dressing down re the poor old lady,I may have considered said child apologising to said lady -so public humiliation and a tirade which imvho are not an awful lot better than a swift tap.

I have 7 year old boys and I know how loopy they can get and how they need to know the world doesn't revolve around them and older/disabled people need to be looked out for. In the midst of a shopping trip with 3 lively kids an UP heart to heart aint going to work,you need swift action to nip things in the bud.

osamabinladensmrs · 03/05/2011 20:01

MilaMae

So, if someone upsets me in the pub or workplace, and I hit them using an open hand, I take it you wouldn't see this as assault. Am I right?

K999 · 03/05/2011 20:01

Just because I don't smack does not make me a fantastic parent (I wish!). It just means I don't resort to violence to get a point across.....

Mamaz0n · 03/05/2011 20:01

Gemsy - do you really have so much time on your hands you need to trawl my previous thread posts?

oh dear oh dear.

i feel your time would be better spent researching positive parenting technique ma dear.

sickoftheholidays · 03/05/2011 20:03

Canny, Cricket, Mila, thankyou. As for the gods of motherhood who have been spouting on here, I'm surprised you can see what your kids are doing, with your heads being so far up your arses and all. Anyhow, I'm off now to beat kiss my kids goodnight, as I said earlier, I really couldnt give a fig about what others think, I'm confident enough in my parenting abilities to cope with a few extremists differences of opinion.

Gemsy83 · 03/05/2011 20:03

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osamabinladensmrs · 03/05/2011 20:03

Mamaz0n

and I bet you have loads of friends, my dear.

ps, Lol.

Mamaz0n · 03/05/2011 20:04

I am actually lol at not wanting to hit a child is consiered and extremist opinion.

fuck tact, Mn has been infiltrated by jermey kyle watching, IQ failing, moronic wankers.

Gemsy83 · 03/05/2011 20:04

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

Mamaz0n · 03/05/2011 20:05

lemme check facebook....... yup, 742 apparently.

osamabinladensmrs · 03/05/2011 20:05

sickoftheholidays

fair comment. However, if I ever witness you or anyone else violently assaulting a child / adult, please be rest assured, I will be the first to report you.

Gemsy83 · 03/05/2011 20:06

Nope- dont watch Jezza, average IQ..good job- just happen to have a different view to you and not need to slam other parents discipline methods and make sidewards swipes at them as parents.

Mamaz0n · 03/05/2011 20:06

hahahahahahaaa.

how many threads have you had dedicated to your awesomeness? none? ahh never mind love. Jealousy can be a bitch huh

osamabinladensmrs · 03/05/2011 20:07

Mamaz0n

PMSL, you 'Jordon' lookalikes do make me laugh.

cannydoit · 03/05/2011 20:07

obviously k9 i was being sarcastic, but i am glad you picked up on the point. thanks for showing us all that just like sick,cricket and myself you are a parent trying her best to raise her children the best way she can. using words like violence and assault is going to upset people, so i can only assume that the people using them are doing so on purpose and therefore their opinions have little to no value.

sickoftheholidays · 03/05/2011 20:08

not wanting to hit your kids is not an extremist opinion, its a parenting choice. being offensive and name calling those who dont make the same parenting choices as you is rather I'm afraid.

MilaMae · 03/05/2011 20:08

I take it if somebody in the workplace/pub bellowed,used public humiliation or shouted to get their point across you wouldn't class that as bullying/abusive?

Osama I think you need to errr quit the hysteria you just look unhinged and while you're at it you might want to consider changing your name,I think it's rather distasteful at the moment.

osamabinladensmrs · 03/05/2011 20:09

cannydoit

If I use an open hand to hit another person, is that an act of violence? Is it assault?

K999 · 03/05/2011 20:09

I use those words because that is how those actions are defined.....smacking is an act of violence and an assault. I don't get that some don't get that? Im not fussed one way or the other what some parents do. All I'm saying is that I don't smack for those reasons and because I have other far more effective methods...Wink

Gemsy83 · 03/05/2011 20:10

Why would you need to discipline someone in the pub? Why do people use such ridiculous comparisons?

sickoftheholidays · 03/05/2011 20:10

Osama, If you ever saw me, or anyone else violently assaulting a child, I sincerely hope you will report them. And I say that honestly, hand on heart. But there is a BIG BIG difference between violently assaulting a child, and a single smack in a controlled manner. A very big difference. The police would know the difference I can assure you, as would SS.