To be shocked at how many mners seem to condone smacking

[Cat98]

I am not talking about people who have smacked in anger and post saying "oh no, I lost it and smacked my DC" - everyone makes mistakes and no-one is perfect! I am talking about those who use smacking as a considered, pre meditated form of punishment/discipline. I know this was discussed a lot on another thread a few days ago, and I was pretty much told "each to their own" - but I am genuinely surprised that it seems to be a popular method here?

You don't own your children you can't just do what you like to them physically! There are boundaries and hitting anyone crosses them. Do you actually say to your children If someone is doing something you don't approve of if you have exhausted all other possibilities then you will have to smack them to make them see reason. You must see why that is ridiculous

accept my tone in whichever way you like.

Anyone that feels they need to assault a child is, imo, anything but "a damn good" parent

Oh FFS, some children will be smacked and grow up emotionally damaged. Some will be smacked and grow up fine. Some will be shouted at and become scared and timid, some will be fine. Some children will never be disciplined and will be spoilt, arrogant brats. Some will be fine.

I think the one thing we can all agree on is that it is never right to beat a child. That is child abuse.

It's at times like this I wish we had a "like" button.

likes NoddyHolder and Mamaz0n very much.

This is always divisive on MN.

I have never hit my children and never would. I think it's lazy parenting at best.

My dad can still remember being hit with a cane. This is obviously illegal and incredulous to us nowadays as I hope hitting children will be before long in line with our european neighbours.

The friends I have that hit their dcs (and it's a very small proportion) have the worst behaved children I know.

When people try to trivialise it by saying 'just a tap on the back of their hand' etc it makes me laugh! If it was just a tap, the child wouldn't bat an eyelid. I wish these parents had the balls to say 'hit' because that's what they're doing.

What are they teaching their impressionable children? That violence is an acceptable form of coercion. Just rubbish parenting.

sickoftheholidays

Why not be a little more imaginative? Perhaps you could try head butting your little ones next time. What do you think?

you are absolutely right smartpants, there is no point in slapping a child if they dont feel it. it has to be hard enough for them to know that they done wrong.

cannydoi

How about using a base ball bat?

gemsy83 - adults do get disciplined if they break the law or rules in their company for example. but the punishments don't involve violence anymore as we have moved on from there.

If it's not ok to smack another adult, its not ok to smack a child.

Violence is never mmmkay. Mmmkay?

I can't believe the fuming that sickoftheholidays is getting - she has NOT BEAT her DC she has smacked becuase of the situation. As she explained an elderly lady was about to be very hurt and this was the last attempt to stop this; and for this osama your message is just disgusting

Mumofaflump you said it brilliantly.

my mum use to use a wooden spoon osama not quite a baseball bat but still left quite a mark.

i think the problem stems from people being under the misconception that their children are possesions, that they own them and have the "right" to assault them as and when they dont get their way.

If you wouldn't do it to an adult with the size and ability to hit back, then how on earth you rationalise hitting a child i will never know.

im sure when i was at school we had a name for people that hit those smaller than them

cricketballs

Violence is violence. End of.

OK, I genuinely don't get the 'assult' tag. I can only assume that the smacking I experienced as a child and the smacking others have experienced were in no way the same thing. No WAY what my parents did could EVER be classed as assult!

I'm also fairly sure that if you 'disciplined' someone in the workplace using the naughty step/time out etc that would be seen as humiliating and degrading to them too. So I also don't get this 'if you did it to an adult...' thing. You can't equate them!

For what it's worth, I have never hit a child or even lightly tapped them or anything like that, but I have smacked my friends' hands away on occasion when they were after my food! I have yet to be reported for assult for this.

osama - interesting name then in the circumstances.......

cannydoit

My point exactly. Your Mum violently assaulted you. If you don't accept that, then why not hit a complete stranger with a wooden spoon and then see what happens.

cricketballs

Yes, I am only one of though.

I don't go round wiping the arse of my colleagues either but do with toddlers.

trying to throw in the naughty step and comapring it to kidnap is ridiculous.

but yes, even in adult society we use time out for persistant bad behaviour, especially if already warned. It is called Prison.

Thank you springbokdoc.

cricket you are right the judgemental nature of the women on here astounds me, but then they are obviously perfect earth mothers that we lower beings have no hope of attaining their lofty heights. there for i shall just potter along with my happy well adjusted kids as sick should do and they can all go... well i won't say for fear of upsetting the gods of motherhood.

I think the adult equivalent of something like the naughty step is probably walking away from a potentially explosive situation. I often go into the other room when ds is ranting away about nothing rather than get involved with him.When things cool it can be discussed. In the same way I often tell him to go away and think about things and get back to me. I think this sort of breathing space would work and be accepted in teh workplace where a smack wouldn't!

you are right osama my mum use to beat the ever living crap out of me, not sure what your point is.

cannydoit

cannydoit