To be shocked at how many mners seem to condone smacking

[Cat98]

I am not talking about people who have smacked in anger and post saying "oh no, I lost it and smacked my DC" - everyone makes mistakes and no-one is perfect! I am talking about those who use smacking as a considered, pre meditated form of punishment/discipline. I know this was discussed a lot on another thread a few days ago, and I was pretty much told "each to their own" - but I am genuinely surprised that it seems to be a popular method here?

sickoftheholidays

I agree, even though we have opposing views, you haven't resorted to posting insults, and that is a huge credit to you. However, I fully 100% agree with Glitters comments. I can never agree wiith violently assaulting a child just as I could never agree with assaulting a woman.

thing is, some of the anti-smacking points raised on here have made me think seriously. But then someone like glitterball comes along starts dishing out abuse like that, its hard to see anything but the offensive comments. Crikey, I think I've just been "assaulted"

There are many anti everything lobbies. Doesnt mean they will get their way and things they disagree with will be banned/introduced. If thats the case you will be happy to see britain be governed by Sharia law I guess, as there are many more supporters for it as the days go by?

thankyou Osama, your comments earlier have made me think seriously about things. I may have to reconsider.

And gemsy you only find us offensive because deep down you know we're right. And you've just called someone an immature troll twat so I don't think you can talk about anyone being offensive.

As someone said earlier, the mums who are against smacking are just so disgusted and know so strongly that hitting children is wrong that yes, it has got a bit heated. Fortunately more and more people are realising this. I honestly do not know anyone who smacks their kids, or thinks it's ok any more.

So you perfect parents, what do I do when my DD who is 4 takes her seat belt off when we're about to leave a petrol station to go back onto the motorway? I've explained why she needs to keep it on and what will happen if she doesn't, she has some fruit and a bottle of water and she has toys and drawing things. I've checked the seat belt is fine and not causing her any problems.

Now what do I do?

Gemsy.....fox hunting?? Smoking in pubs??

AllDirections - I would stop the car at the first safest place asap and put seatbelt back on. Where is the smacking going to feature in this story?

It may well be banned but I doubt it very much.

If it was banned, how would you suggest it was policed?

Do you really think that banning smacking will help children around the country who are systematically beaten and abused on a daily basis?

As it stands in this coutry smacking (that does not leave a mark etc) is counted as a viable option for discipline, you can call it abuse as much as you like but by doing this you are performing a massive dis-service to the truely abused children in the UK.

Nullius - you said "it would be the last thing he ever did" meaning what if not to be equally violent back? or at least that is what you inferred.

Your reaction is to immediatly think of aggression as the answer to a problem.
the legacy of being hit as a child

It's not abuse sickof, its me telling you how your attitude to parenting makes you feel.

You hitting your children is an abuse of your physical power over them, on the other hand.

AllDirections, what are you implying? That the only way to get your dd to cooperate is to hit her? You have the patience to continue to explain to her why she must keep her seatbelt on - I've been there, you don't need to hit her!

Gemsy, the anti smacking lobby will win eventually. There is growing evidence and more and more research all the time that hitting children is wrong and eventually the UK will be forced to listen and to end the embarassing position we are in as one of the only European countries that allows adults to hit children.

Scottish Govt (I am in scotland) advise against smacking -

Smacking is not advisable as a method of disciplining children since it:

Can be dangerous - it is easy to forget how delicate children are, particularly if you are frustrated or angry. What feels to you like a light slap can have the potential to cause real harm to a small child.

Sets children the wrong example - rather than correcting misbehaviour, it can teach children to hit out at people who are doing things they don't like or who don't do what the child wants them to do.

Has effects which last long after the physical pain dies away - young children will not necessarily associate the punishment with their behaviour. It can make them angry and resentful and can be damaging to their confidence and self-esteem.

Smacking is not an effective way to teach children discipline

'Smacking' is only one word used by parents in Scotland for physical punishment. Others include spanking, hitting and slapping. This leaflet applies to all forms of physical punishment.

So the government is hardly OK-ing it, are they?

AllDirections...only give her fruit, toys etc if she promises to keep her seatbelt on? Say you'll reward her with something at the end of the journey? Say you'll not let her watch TV when she gets home if she takes it off? and the list goes on....

Gemsy - Its your forceful utterly agressive tone and nasty comments and assumptions that are offensive.

I think forceful and aggressive = I know you're right so I'm going to turn the argument around on you.

Its actually quite horrible to say those who smack as a last resort are abusing children thats abit OTT

www.parliament.uk/briefingpapers/commons/lib/research/briefings/snha-04710.pdf

Okaying it as much as they can.....

Gemsy and Sickof every so often you enter into a twilight zone of loons on MN,complete separate and alien to RL,I think we are currently in that zone.

I worry about the bullying,insane comments. For some reason posters think if they say it enough the odd infrequent tap becomes beating the shit out of kids on a regular basis-it doesn't.

Sickof I think your dd and mine were separated at birth.

Glitterball, whether you are in the right or not, your rudeness and agression on this thread havent helped your argument at all. And yes, calling someone names is abusive and not necessary. You would have got the point across far better by being calm and logical.