To be shocked at how many mners seem to condone smacking

[Cat98]

I am not talking about people who have smacked in anger and post saying "oh no, I lost it and smacked my DC" - everyone makes mistakes and no-one is perfect! I am talking about those who use smacking as a considered, pre meditated form of punishment/discipline. I know this was discussed a lot on another thread a few days ago, and I was pretty much told "each to their own" - but I am genuinely surprised that it seems to be a popular method here?

Yes, in the same vein as osama's post, could someone please tell me if it is OK to hit an adult with the mental age of three to stop them from doing something bad or dangerous?

I said "for the most part". I have read earlier insinuations that people tale baseball bats to their children, headbut them, punch them in the stomach. I have seen people telling other posters they are bad parents they are stupid, they should be reported to SS and they don't deserve children.

Tale? Damn sticky keys! take

Mumofaflump

Whether I use a base ball bat, head but them, punch them in the stomach or use an open hand, isn't it the same, i.e. violence?

and they dont like it when you bite back mumo lol.

I suspect for an elderly person or an adult with the mental age of three, violence against them would still be an assault! Lol at hitting them to stop them hurting themselves!!!

Springbok -
Ds is 10 and has ASD and ADHD so more challenging than most. DD is 6 and NT.

I will ask them to stop doing X. I will then tell them that unless they stop there will be Y sanction. I will count back from 5. If i get to 1 then sanction is put in place.

Be that sent to their room, removal of priveledges, grounding....whatever.

Because i always see through any sanction threatened i very rarely get to 1 now days.

everyone

could someone please answer my question, re, assaulting an elderly person with dementia.

A doubt an elderly persons parents would still be alive to hit them for whatever reason.
NEXT....

So it's not ok to hit an adult - perhaps because they can hit you back - but it's ok to hit a smaller, weaker person? There is a word for people that do that.

Osama....assaulting anyone is a criminal offence! Are you perhaps thinking of "reasonable force"??

K999 Tue 03-May-11 21:19:42
I suspect for an elderly person or an adult with the mental age of three, violence against them would still be an assault! Lol at hitting them to stop them hurting themselves!!!

Why laugh? Is this different than assaulting a child in order to stop them selves harming themselves. Allbeit, I understand you were laughing at the thought of someone hurting someone to stop them hurting themselves. Me thinks you knew what I meant.

And before you say 'its not just about parents' this is what this whole debate centres around- whether PARENTS agree smacking THEIR children is acceptable. Not teachers, carers or police- PARENTS

Osama...that's what I meant! I think?? Am getting lost now...

Its not okay to hit an adult as there is no need to raise them/instill disicpline in a grown adult. Hence the comparison not being valid

Actually people have said pretty much exactly that.

People who have been smacked and said that they dont feel it affected them have been accused of burying their memories or being "empty vessels". Someone drew the parallel between their (non-smacked) DD being all sensitive and wonderful while her (smacked) friends are evil harpies who laugh at violence. People who smack have been told that they are likely to go on to seriously abuse their children.

It is hysterical nonsense and utterly distracts from a calm and reasoned debate.

Gemsy83

Oh dear, please read carefully. I did not mention parents...NEXT.

Because parents have the 'right' to do whatever they want, right Gemsy? So if you want to hit YOUR child how dare anyone challenge that? Maybe, because it's violent and wrong?

So why should a parent, someone untrained, unadvised and unsupervised be allowed to assault a child but not a teacher/policeman/nursery worker etc?

Why is there no need to instil discipline in an adult? What if it's one who has lost control of their faculties, or who still needs to be reminded what's right and what's wrong?

Oh, this whole 'instil discipline by hitting' thing just gives me the creeps so badly.

I don't think anyone is being hysterical Clytaemnestra, I think saying that is a device to distract from the main thrust of the anti smackers very valid arguments.

Moi??

Because a parent is allowed/entitled to raise their children as they see fit in line with the laws of the country they reside. No you didnt mention parents Osama but you are again comparing randoms/those without the need to raise children hitting others and its just not helpful.

Osama - Gemsy works in Child protection!!