To be shocked at how many mners seem to condone smacking

[Cat98]

I am not talking about people who have smacked in anger and post saying "oh no, I lost it and smacked my DC" - everyone makes mistakes and no-one is perfect! I am talking about those who use smacking as a considered, pre meditated form of punishment/discipline. I know this was discussed a lot on another thread a few days ago, and I was pretty much told "each to their own" - but I am genuinely surprised that it seems to be a popular method here?

Mamaz0n

y'know, i've just realised, i've been arguing with you, yet we both agree that violence is wrong

I pressume you mean 'pray' Osama? Oh and try and trot out the most rude offensive things you want- its a sure fire way of showing your lack of debating skills.

I noticed Osama. I found it quite entertaining

Well I'm sorry Gemsy but you and those like you won't be able to hide behind our outdated laws for much longer I think. Britain is the disgrace of Europe and sadly lagging behind other countries who banned smacking long ago. It's an embarassment that in this country we still think it's ok to hurt kids.

Gemsy - what is the point of smacking? to teach children a lesson?

I pressume you mean 'pray' Osama?

I presume you mean 'presume' Gemsy!

You can't use the demented person as an example because they sadly don't have the ability to learn. So it would be as effective as sitting them down and telling them why they shouldn't do X or Y. So unfortunately strategies aimed at managing demented people wouldn't be about helping them not to get themselves in those situations again but completely removing the possibility of harm and managing behaviour in a very different way as to what you would do with a child who should be able to learn not to repeat behaviour.

Again where did anyone mention knocking fuck out of anyone? Thats right nobody did you are just on another hysterical tangent aren't you?
'Those like me' as you put it Glitter have not needed to smack their children for many years or indeed regularly. However 'those like me' also have not got their head so far up their ass they think their life/circumstances/children/methods of discipline mirror everyone elses- thank fuck.

but you are teaching them that if they go near the fire they will get a smack.,

they aren't learning that the fire is hot or dangerous, just that their mum will hit them if they go near it

So on the occasions you have smacked, now you have the wisdom of hindsight do you think you could have handled the situation differently? Do you think that alternative techniques could have worked in those situations?

Exactly Mamaz0n. I fail to understand what kind of lessons parents are trying to teach by hitting their children??

No I dont or else a smack wouldn't have been necessary. As unlike what you view me as im not a muppet who smacks a child as a first resort but after a serious of interventions/warnings. It teaches- dont think you can keep stepping out of line when you have already been warned your behaviour is unacceptable and that you will get away with it.

To behave. Just like the lessons people hope to achieve by making a child miss a favourite club/toy/sitting on a step for several minutes. If your method is accepted and not criticised who are you to criticise anothers method?

Gemsy - unfortunatly my ex used to have the same philosophy.

Those of us that don't smack, are any of your children burnt? been hit by a car?sliced fingers off with shapr knives?

It's just that neither of my two have. Maybe i was just exceptionally lucky and despite DS having no vocabulary until he was 4 and living pretty solidly inside his own little bubble he felt that he should be challenging in all other areas other than that.

So if you can achieve the same result without resorting violence Gemsy why do you prefer to?

Again and ex is nothing like a child. Adults are equal, a child being brought up is not and should not be treated as an equal.

My ex used to have the same philosophy regarding me. He probably called it spousal management technique....

I cannot always thats why I said I smacked fgs!

Gemsy, it's funny that people like you, on realising they are so far in the wrong they cannot defend their position, resort to lashing out as those they know are in the right by saying things like they have their head up their asses. I'm afraid it's you that has your head clearly entrenched in your ass if you cannot see that hitting a child is wrong.

Springbok - You can't use the demented person as an example because they sadly don't have the ability to learn. So it would be as effective as sitting them down and telling them why they shouldn't do X or Y.

Oh dear. So you do actually acknowledge that sitting someone down and explaining why their actions are wrong is a method of discipline that can be used - it's just that you can't be bothered doing it with your kids, when hitting them is easier, is that right?

I haven't read the whole thread, sorry but I have seen enough of these threads on MN over the years to know how they go.

It is sad when so many people scream abuse at the posters who dare admit to being smackers. They are pictured as bullying abusers, who lose control and are failing as parents.

In my opinion it is this reason that stops posters admitting to smacking, no one wants to be tarred with that label and ultimately marginalised.

I see nothing wrong with the use of smacking as a form of discipline, I don't expect all people to agree with that but it is my choice to make not theirs.

Oh yawwwwnnn at the utter groundhog day-ness of this thread now talking about partners hitting each other, assaulting people in the pub blah blah...

your child shouldn't be treated as an equal?

That sentance alone has actually saddened me more than anything else on this thread.