To be shocked at how many mners seem to condone smacking

[Cat98]

I am not talking about people who have smacked in anger and post saying "oh no, I lost it and smacked my DC" - everyone makes mistakes and no-one is perfect! I am talking about those who use smacking as a considered, pre meditated form of punishment/discipline. I know this was discussed a lot on another thread a few days ago, and I was pretty much told "each to their own" - but I am genuinely surprised that it seems to be a popular method here?

I don't believe that everyong that smacks will go on to commit serious abuse.

But I was serious when i asked the questions in my previous post.

When the smack is a last resort what happens when that doesn't work?

this is a rubbish thread, no one answers the sensible questions asked and it just gets more and more hysterical. bye

I'm sorry cannydoit but that's such a lazy argument. 'I've tried everything else so I need to assault you now to teach you a lesson'.

Sickened that anyone can liken hitting a child to personal choice.

Interestingly there was a study done where children were asked the difference between smacking and hitting. Most didn't know. That's because there isn't one. Smacking is just a word adults use to make themselves more comfortable about the fact they are hitting. In most other languages the word for smack and hit is the same. Because it's the same thing.

Some of you are struggling to understand the arguments here. Smacking does not always lead to worse abuse, or to girls growing up to being abused women, or abusers. But there is a risk that it can. Why would you take that risk?

Oh, because it's your right to hit your child. I forgot.

marzipan I'll take that to mean you know you're wrong and can't defend your position any more!

Hysterical in mumsnet speak = I know you're right, and I can't defend my argument,so I'll just try and make you seem extreme or loony to make myself feel better.

It seems to be that the point of smacking is to cause physical pain and that is something I will never agree with.

glitterballmama

Great post. There are some sick people on here. I can only deduce that violence has played a big part in some of the posters lives. Sad, very sad.

Just an observation here. The people who say they occasionly smack/tap or can see why you would are not being offensive on the whole.

The ardent anti-smackers are, for the most part, resorting to personal attacks and abusive comments. Ironic, huh?

For all those who smack, read this and hang your head in shame - children's thoughts on smacking.

www.childrenareunbeatable.org.uk/pdfs/I%20dont%20get%20sad%20-%20%20key%20messages.pdf

Mama - I don't know. As I said way back I haven't been there. My ds is tiny so can't actually be naughty :). I do think that normal moms don't then go on to think beating their child is the next appropriate step. But I could ask you - what do you do when all talking options have been exhausted?

sorry glitter, where did i say that?

Mumofaflump

Thats your perception, not mine. I guess you are pro violence, then.

I think the personal attacks are coming from both sides mumofalump..

I haven't personally attacked anyone so your argument there is flawed....I have simply stated my opinion....

cannydoit you said that you have often tried everything on the NSPCC list but it hasn't worked - I've heard that argument many times to try to justify hitting.

Mumofaflump thank you - after all this very serious toing and froing you actually made me laugh aloud. damn you for making my little one startle!

mumo

Honestly, that Larkin poem has got to be the equivilant of godwins law on parenting forums.

My parents didn't fuck me up. I'm not an "empty vessel". I'm perfectly content with who I am and how I was raised, the fact I had a few smacks on the bottom when I was a child has not changed my outlook on life, I most certainly don't laugh at violence because I'm desenstitzed. When I was assaulted in the course of being mugged, I certainly didn't enjoy it or turn round hopefully saying "Mummy is that you?"

There is an argument against smacking, but you all do it no favours by hysterical extrapolation that everyone who has been smacked is some soulless violence loving sociopath.

Very true Mumofaflump- personal attacks and ridiculous insinuations. Hitting children to get 'their fix' must have had violence used throughout their life etc etc

Nope, not-pro violence at all. I loathe and detest it. I won't even watch war films as people get hurt and it upsets me.

'I would have thought that taking the time to tell them that their behaviour must stop, why it must stop, and once they have understood this, to tell them what they should do next time in the same situation, is a good start.'

PMSL, why didn't I think of doing that, doh? Maybe it's because my little darling can't hear me above her own screaming!

ummmmmmmm no i didnt, never read that list before you put it up. have a good system in place that works great. the 321 system. dont smack my kids, dont have to.

My daughter was upset when I told her we couldnt walk a certain way to school this morning. Like the odd smack in her life she got over it pretty quickly. Are we meant to pander to everything that upsets our children?

Clytamenestra
There is an argument against smacking, but you all do it no favours by hysterical extrapolation that everyone who has been smacked is some soulless violence loving sociopath.

But nobody has said that. Those of us against smacking are not hysterical. I am just very, very sad and quite shocked that so many of you seem to think it's OK to hit a child.

As a wise man said, "Smacking children is not just a lesson in bad behaviour; it is a potent demonstration of contempt for the human rights of smaller, weaker people."

Everyone

Is it ok for example to assault an elderly person? It may be the case that they have dementia, and only by using violence will I stop them from harming themselves.

Gemsy, how sad that you think not smacking your children is pandering to them.