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AIBU?

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Original poster

David Cameron tells Angela Eagle to "calm down dear" at PMQ

714 replies

Bennifer · 27/04/2011 13:25

I posted this in feminism but think this is appalling, if true.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-13211577

OP posts:
lorelilee · 27/04/2011 14:08

Celadon - I don't think we are supporting him, just pointing out that by getting offended, it confirms in the minds of some that we are, in fact, the weaker sex. Words only have the power you allow them to have.

Meglet · 27/04/2011 14:09

yanbu. Since when was Michael Winner funny Confused.

Just watching it again on the news. Clegg was not impressed ( how can he sit there with them), Osbourne thought it was hilarious. Says it all.

lorelilee · 27/04/2011 14:09

too many 'haves' there!

GypsyMoth · 27/04/2011 14:09

did she though???? did she calm down??

i didnt see it,i want to know if she did as she was told....or carried on??

idratherbeboarding · 27/04/2011 14:09

YABU.

Get over yourself. Seriously, some people are way too precious.

KeepCalmAndCurryOn · 27/04/2011 14:10

PMQT is pure cheap theatricals, on a par with the Michael Winner ads or a panto. I think in the context, DC's comment fits comfortably, and Eagles / Labour know it - they are the ones scoring cheap points here. In a different context, it wouldn't be ok.

Librashavinganotherbiscuit · 27/04/2011 14:10

If anyone at work called me dear I would have a problem nevermind if they prefaced it with calm down.

Quenelle · 27/04/2011 14:12

The reason why it's such a low thing to say is that you can't win when someone says it to you. If you do 'calm down' you're doing as you're told. And if you don't, you're a hysterical female.

Tolalola · 27/04/2011 14:13

If a work colleague said 'Calm down, dear' to everyone, indiscriminate of gender, I would just think they were a tiresome prat.

If they said it only to me or to another female colleague I would think they were a sexist, patronising, prat and I would be furious.

jenny60 · 27/04/2011 14:13

He's a sexist twat and some of you are amazingly good at not seeing/denying the point.

animula · 27/04/2011 14:14

It's a gendered put-down, and a speech-act calling upon anti-woman structures, and bringing them into being at the same time.

He's a wanker.

And a tosser.

I'm wondering if his spin-doctors came up with it in order to focus attention elsewhere than the stalled economy.

Very cunning. Distraction with a bit of old-skool sexism.

Jix · 27/04/2011 14:14

Is he trying to be funny maybe? That sort of talk sounds so 1950s sit-com to me!

MotherSnacker · 27/04/2011 14:15

"MotherSnacker, Cammy said this when he was speaking at the despatch box and they were trying to shout him down. I doubt you'd let that go either."

"Excuse me would you allow me to say my piece please" would have sufficed. Manners and respect.

No I would not let it go if a man disrespected me in any context because it isn't right.

HandDivedScallopsrgreat · 27/04/2011 14:15

Would the people who think that this is reasonable behaviour seriously not have a problem with a male colleague or a partner saying the same think to them? Would you not feel humiliated and belittled? And would you not feel that it probably wouldn't have been said to one of your male colleagues?

WhipMeIndiana · 27/04/2011 14:17

actually, he said 'calm down dear, listen to the doctor'

there is more about the whole doctor side of it too?

Jix · 27/04/2011 14:17

But echo what Quenelle says.. that if someone says that to you, you can't win.. If you do 'calm down' you're doing as you're told. And if you don't, you're a hysterical female.

WhipMeIndiana · 27/04/2011 14:18

bbc news keep mentioning Justine

Librashavinganotherbiscuit · 27/04/2011 14:18

"The reason why it's such a low thing to say is that you can't win when someone says it to you. If you do 'calm down' you're doing as you're told. And if you don't, you're a hysterical female."

Plus half the time men use it when the female isn't actually hysterical, or even loud, just disagreeing with their point of view.

TheShriekingHarpy · 27/04/2011 14:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bna · 27/04/2011 14:18

YABU I said this exact phrase to my teenage brother on Sunday, does that me a sexist/ageist prick also?

AnnieLobeseder · 27/04/2011 14:19

TheShriekingHarpy - you think it's 'refreshing' that so many women see casual sexism as acceptable or just a laughable joke? Wow. Just, wow.

Vicky2011 · 27/04/2011 14:19

It IS a patronising thing to say, I wld certainly be fucked off if anyone, male or female, said that to me in the workplace, but in the context of PMQs, it really is pretty tame stuff. His comment to Ed Balls about being the most unpopular man in politics was pretty unpleasant too.

Anyone remember many years ago Ken Clarke telling Robert McKlennan (who he?) to go and lie down in a darkened room and keep taking the tablets? Personally I thought that was a lot nastier but nobody else (including McKlennan) seemed to take it seriously.

I have now outed myself as not only very old but also very dull Grin

GrimmaTheNome · 27/04/2011 14:19

I liked it when on The World at One, Martha Kearney told Danny Alexander and Ed Balls to 'calm down dears'. Then when they discussed the issue, Danny said he thought Dave had been addressing 'shadow chunterer' Balls, not Ms Eagles.

Ed said if he used this term to Yvette she's have clocked him.... now shall we take that apart as an indicator of potential woman-on-man domestic abuse? Grin

But, Elephants, little Bercow is even more revolting than Eagle and Cooper. Why would anyone listen to that pygmy?

As a nome (and short IRL to boot) I find that somewhat more appalling than Dave's daft 'dear'. Say Bercow revolts you by all means but no need for pathetic personal insults is there?

cantspel · 27/04/2011 14:20

Looks to me he was tells Balls to calm down but i wish he had told him to shut the fuck up

mankyminks · 27/04/2011 14:21

And all the names you lot have been calling the man/men involved on this thread are perfectly ok are they? Fragile ego's ? Much? I am a woman by the way and most certainly not a downtrodden one but shiver at the thought of how the mere use of the word 'dear' makes you all react.....