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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think we cant be the only family?

125 replies

evilgdil · 26/04/2011 18:06

Who 'only' have 1 car? I dont drive, have never learnt, have very little desire to do so. Oh drives, likes driving, needs to drive to get to work. He works, i dont. Even when i do, i will need a job near home to be near schools etc. People are always commenting that i should learn to drive. I see it might be useful but it costs a bomb, and we couldnt afford to run two cars anyway! Do most families have 2 drivers and 2 cars? Is our set up that strange?

OP posts:
usualsuspect · 26/04/2011 18:10

We only have one car ...I don't drive, I use public transport to get to work and other places or walk

Paschaelina · 26/04/2011 18:11

Well we only have one car which I drive during the week and we share at weekends. DH has use of a company van though.

We used to have a car each when we both worked but found it pointless since we had Boy last year. DH would drive his 10 minutes to work, leave it on the drive all day and drive home again. It never went anywhere else. We sold both cars in January and combined the cash to buy a bigger better car for our circumstances.

I do love driving. I find it therapeutic and would certainly miss it if it went.

blindmelon · 26/04/2011 18:12

we have one car but we can both drive. DH gets the train to work, I use it maybe once or twice a week for shopping/seeing friends/playdates etc.

If you don't need to drive then great. But there's no denying it is useful to be able to drive. I didn't learn til my late 20s and convinced myself I didn't need to drive but honestly once I could it was a revelation. What about things like supermarket shopping, or if the kids have a party to go to etc, do you do it all together? Or just having the freedom to go off and do something on your own once in a while?

pommedechocolat · 26/04/2011 18:15

MIL doesn't drive for many the same reasons you list along with the fact that she really didn't want to. FIL has tried to persuade her many times and has always felt a bit of a burden on him being the only one (both their sons live a drive away - us hours of drive away).

Now, FIL has glaucoma and is even more worried (all very under control and eyesight fine atm). It also means that unlike my mum MIL only sees dd when there is a whole family weekend organised for them to come down which happens less regularly than my mum popping down for a night (my parents also live hours away)

I think now it causes her issues that she couldn't foresee back in the day. Although she wouldn't like to leave FIL on his own (can't cook/make tea/wipe his bum on his own apparently) anyway and the PILS think we should go there more so maybe her driving wouldn't have changed things that much.

I personally think YABU and that driving is like swimming - necessary skills that you will never know when you may need them.

amidaiwish · 26/04/2011 18:15

we have one car but can both drive. at age 17 i was taught, it wasn't really optional, just what we did in our family. i was grateful when i went to uni that i could drive and didn't have to worry about it on return for work etc.

dh gets the train to work
i use the car in the week, we share at the weekends, though mostly we can get about quite easily without it.

microfight · 26/04/2011 18:16

One car in our family too!

Firawla · 26/04/2011 18:16

we don't have any cars or any license between us so you are atleast doing better than us! i don't think its too weird to have only one car, or not drive but maybe it depends what area you are in. personally i do want to learn though, but if you are fine without then its not a big deal, esp as your dp drives anyway so you do atleast have that one car if you want to go out in car together

doley · 26/04/2011 18:17

We only have 1 ,and we live in rural America ...makes for some fun times during the week WHEN I AM STUCK HERE Grin

noodle69 · 26/04/2011 18:18

We have 1 car but a lot of couples I know dont have any car at all. I only know a handful of people with 2 cars. I thought having 2 cars was more rare tbh

chocadoodle · 26/04/2011 18:18

DH and I have a car each as do most families we know but I don't think your set up is strange. If you don't need two cars and you've never felt the need to drive that's fair enough.

My Mum doesn't drive but my Dad does and I know it irks him that he's always having to fetch and carry her everywhere and he never gets to have a drink when they go out in the evenings, which does seem unfair. Could that be the same reason why people comment on your situation? If that's the case I can understand why people might think it, but they shouldn't really say it to you as it's nobody's business apart from yours and your OH.

The only other reason I can think of as to why they might comment is if you gave the impression you were inconvenienced by not being able to drive?

Reality · 26/04/2011 18:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

januaryjojo · 26/04/2011 18:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Georgimama · 26/04/2011 18:21

We have one car and both drive, and we live in a rural (isolated) area. Nearest pint of milk after 6pm approx 20 mile round trip.

I drop DH at work, then DS at CM then drive to work. In afternoon I do it in reverse. At weekends we are mostly together.

Sacharissa · 26/04/2011 18:21

We only have one car.

I don't drive. Not sure I could learn, my feet might not reach the pedals. [shortarse emoticon]Grin

ajandjjmum · 26/04/2011 18:22

Driving is a life skill, and I think it's an extremely useful one.

expatinscotland · 26/04/2011 18:22

We have just one. We can't afford to run two.

80sMum · 26/04/2011 18:23

For me personally, learning to drive is one of the best things I ever did. It has opened up so many possibilities and given me the freedom to choose where I live and where I work. As you say, if you don't drive you have to live near shops, schools, etc etc - or you have to rely on other people to drive you.

If you can afford to (and I know it's ridiculously expensive now) I would recommend that driving is a skill that you'll be grateful you learned.

I didn't learn to drive till my DCs were 5 and 2. After I'd passed my test we still only had one car (although now we do have two).

Itsjustafleshwound · 26/04/2011 18:23

We have 1 car - DH cycles and uses the train to work and I use the car during the week.

We both know how to drive - one of those 'life skill things' for us and I actually quite like driving.

zikes · 26/04/2011 18:23

I think driving is a handy skill to have: it enables you to share driving if you're going long distances, it allows you to go further afield for outings with the children when your oh is working, it gives you a bit more independence and should your oh be injured/ill means you're not reliant on public transport/taxis to get to hospitals etc.

We're a one car household, but both drivers.

mummytime · 26/04/2011 18:24

We have 1 car, both drive. When DH changed his job (from one he commuted to by train) he bought a bike, and uses that now. I really couldn't justify having 2 cars, but its crucial I drive as I am chief chauffeur. If local car clubs had family sized cars we might downsize to no car but car club membership +hire cars when needed.

LadyFascinator · 26/04/2011 18:26

We only have one car. I have never learnt to drive. I always thought I would do eventually but can't really justify the cost at the moment. An extra car would have been the most useful to me when the DC were little but that was out of the question as we were skint due to me taking a career break. Now they're grown up and I can nip into town on the bus easily enough - it really doesn't bother me.

I think it would be different if we lived out in the sticks but we are in a big city with quite good public transport.

DarthNiqabi · 26/04/2011 18:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MillyR · 26/04/2011 18:26

We live in a rural area and don't have a car. We all have bus passes instead.

noodle69 · 26/04/2011 18:26

'it enables you to share driving if you're going long distances'

This is the one of the main reasons I dont drive lol!

Vallhala · 26/04/2011 18:27

I don't have a car at all. Haven't since DD1 was born nearly 16 years ago.

I decided that:

A. I could afford either a decent car and all relevent bills OR 3 large dogs and all relevent bills but not both... so go figure. :) Wink

B. Also, that I could only afford a boring car and not a real drivers car. I was im the motor trade, my heart yearns for all things red and fast, my passion for cars is not far off Clarkson's... and I don't want a fucking Ford or a vomit-inducing Vauxhall. The Ka is cack and the Corsa crap. I want an original GTV6 to work on and to keep in pristine, showroom condition. I want a Sprint. I want a Chimera, an E-Type and a Stag with a V6 engine. I still miss my 75 Twin Spark and his buddy the 75 V6.

Sod it..... I'll have my dogs instead!