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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think we cant be the only family?

125 replies

evilgdil · 26/04/2011 18:06

Who 'only' have 1 car? I dont drive, have never learnt, have very little desire to do so. Oh drives, likes driving, needs to drive to get to work. He works, i dont. Even when i do, i will need a job near home to be near schools etc. People are always commenting that i should learn to drive. I see it might be useful but it costs a bomb, and we couldnt afford to run two cars anyway! Do most families have 2 drivers and 2 cars? Is our set up that strange?

OP posts:

rosie1979 · 26/04/2011 18:27

Another 1 car household, we both drive but live in a town and each own a bike. I hate driving!

Insomnia11 · 26/04/2011 18:29

We have one car. Don't need two, DH goes on the train to work. We didn't have a car at all when we lived in London Zone 2 though, and though I passed my test when I was 17 I drove only infrequently until I was about 29/30 (after I'd had DD1 funnily enough). I've never had my own car though, only a share of a car.

Original poster

evilgdil · 26/04/2011 18:29

With the cost of lessons i am loathe to learn at the moment. In our area lessons are 25 quid an hour! We just cant afford 100+ a month at least on lessons, then the 2 tests.

OP posts:

ragged · 26/04/2011 18:29

I know loads of one-car families. Including us. We hardly use the one we have as it is.

countrybump · 26/04/2011 18:30

Two drivers and two cars here, and that's the case for almost everyone I know. But, we live rurally, with very little public transport, so it's an essential rather than a luxury for us. We have one big family car which I drive as I do all the running around with the children, and my DH has a smaller and cheaper-to-run car to drive to and from work.

We both learnt to drive at 17, but, we also both grew up in a rural area and, for me at least, if I hadn't learnt to drive I wouldn't have been able to go out as much or get a job etc.

I completely understand it is different for those living in towns or cities where public transport is readily available, and in that situation we prob would only have one car. (Actually, I'm probably lying there - we did live in London for a short time, and we both kept our cars, but once youb've got used to having one, it's harder to go back I think!!)

mouseanon · 26/04/2011 18:30

We only had one car for ages because we only needed one but we have two now. I need one because there is no pre-school within walking distance, and using public transport to get to one and be able to pick my older DC from school would be impossible. Also all the extra curricular activities the kids do need me to drive to them, or I'd have to get taxis which would be majorly inconvenient and expensive and involve lugging car seats around. Arguably non of these things are essential but it would be a huge impact on the kids if I didn't have a car and drive.

I do think driving is a life skill, like swimming, though. My GD wouldn't let my GM drive for years until she finally wore him down and learnt to drive quite late in life. A couple of years later they were on holiday with their caravan in the South of France when GD had an accident and tore all the ligaments in his ankle meaning he was left in a cast and unable to drive. GM had to take over all the driving to get them about while on holiday and all the way home! Something tells me that GD was quite glad she could drive then or they would have been horribly stuck.

DH insisted I learn to drive (and paid for it and insured me on his car) when we first moved in together as he wasn't prepared to be the only one doing all the driving all the time. I think he was mostly thinking of pub trips tbh but I'm really glad he did it.

LaWeasel · 26/04/2011 18:31

Once I have learnt we will have two drivers but only one car. We barely use that, but it's not a great idea to rely on one person always being available to drive IMO. Think of far future, what if he gets sick etc?

funkybuddah · 26/04/2011 18:32

We don't a car at all, neither of us drive. We walk bus or bike it.
The kids survive we survive.
And we have spare cash unlike our multiple car owning friends, the amount people spend on petrol and upkeep would wipe us out.
Many people imo dont need 1car let alone more.

Ragwort · 26/04/2011 18:32

I didn't learn to drive until my mid 20s but am very glad that I can drive; it gives you so much more independence if you are not relying on someone else to take you somewhere. And what if there is an emergency and your DH can't drive for some reason? Or if you just want to do something on your own?

MillyR - you are fortunate to have bus passes - we lived in a very rural area for many years but there were only about two buses a day and the nearerst station was 10 miles away .

We are lucky in that we can afford two (old bangers ) cars.

Vallhala · 26/04/2011 18:34

CountryBump, now I never "get" that argument. I live in a rural area with limited public transport too yet as you see in my post above, have no car and haven't for years.

LaWeasel · 26/04/2011 18:35

Also - being able to drive will make me more employable/able to start own business post childcare break in CV.

DH can walk to work though so I will be free to swan off with the car in the day if I choose too.

mouseanon · 26/04/2011 18:35

Sacharissa I would be amazed if you are shorter than me! There are some cars where I can't reach the pedals but there are plenty that I can :).

pointydog · 26/04/2011 18:37

2 drivers, 1 car.

All combinations normal.

worraliberty · 26/04/2011 18:38

We don't have a car at all. We don't need one because there are plenty of bus stops and train/tubes around us.

Also we live 2 mins from both schools, our Docs, Dentist, Supermarket, Park and Museum...Oh and Leisure centre.

Libra · 26/04/2011 18:39

My mother does not drive. We lived in a small village when I grew up, and when my father went away for work we were completely and utterly stuck.

One particular incident I remember was when a bus I was travelling on from a late rehearsal at school broke down. I was several miles away from home, it was dark. Since I was the only person on the bus, the driver told me that they wouldn't send out a replacement bus. I phoned my mother, but there was nothing she could do - she had the car in the garage but couldn't drive it to pick me up. I knocked on the door of a stranger and asked him to drive me home (which he did but can you imagine the posts on Mumsnet today!!)

We were so handicapped by mother's refusal to drive.

They still live in the village, which now has no bus service. When my father broke his leg they were totally dependent on my sister to drive for over 20 miles to drive my mother around.

In addition, I think that my mother's attitude has made me a very nervous driver - it took until I was 26 to learn.

I am not saying yabu not to have two cars, but yabu not to be able to have such an important life skill as driving!

KenDoddsDadsDog · 26/04/2011 18:42

We only have one car. Both drive but DH works at home or travels. DD is at nursery about 300 yards away. It's very rare that we would need two.

Chandon · 26/04/2011 18:43

It's your business really.

But....

In our home only I drive. DH isn't interested.

Which means that:
1.) if we go out, I drive, he drinks. always
2.) I have to take the DC to all their sports and parties etc. Including cricket matches away, which I think DH should take his fair share of really.
3.) On a long drive, say if we need to see HIS family who live a 5 hr drive away, I have to do all the driving. It woudl eb ncie if we could swap over halfway.
4.) If I am poorly ( I get migraines), I am still the one who needs to do the driving.
5.) DH often wants me to drive him to his hobby, which is a half hour drive away. This means we ALL have to go, it would be better if he would just take the car instead of getting me to drive.... I often refuse and send him on his way on foot/bus/train he moans as it takes him ages to get there.

etc. etc.

I feel it is not fair.

Learning to drive would not mean you immediately need another car. We would only ever need the one. But it is somehow not fair to just not be bothered to take on your share of driving responsibility.

BornAgainDomesticGoddess · 26/04/2011 18:43

We only have 1 ,and we live in rural America ...makes for some fun times during the week WHEN I AM STUCK HERE

Yep, me too

BornAgainDomesticGoddess · 26/04/2011 18:44

Chandon, sorry but you are a mug.

zikes · 26/04/2011 18:44

I live rurally and our public transport links are appalling. OH works weird shift hours and so going without a car entirely would be really difficult. I daresay everyone could theoretically do without one, but by crikey, it's convenient.

pommedechocolat · 26/04/2011 18:45

Chandon - Taxis he has to pay for on nights out. No more visits to his family unless he sorts out alternative travel arrangements and definitely no more driving with migraines - that's dangerous.

fastedwina · 26/04/2011 18:47

2 cars here and I love being able to drive. Would never be able to get to my hobbies or sports after school in the morning. Love just being able to go for a drive in the country and get lost or throw the kids in and their bikes and head of somewhere. I think it's strange in this day when people can't drive but maybe my house would be cleaner and I'd spend less money.

Tsil · 26/04/2011 18:48

We have 2 cars and DH has a work van, the only reason we have 2 cars with the van is that he may lose the van any minute due to cutbacks and if so one of our cars is very cheap to run.

We both drive in opposite directions to work, we leave the house at 6am there are no buses through our small rural village at that time and none to either of the towns we work in or the station 7 miles away.

Whatever works for your situation but I would hate being unable to drive especially where we live right now. If we lived in a city we probably would get rid of one car.

MistyB · 26/04/2011 18:48

One car two drivers here too.

Carrotsandcelery · 26/04/2011 18:49

2 drivers and 2 cars here but again we live in a rural area with virtually no public transport and what we have is so expensive you would have to be desperate to use it. It would cost £36 for our family of four to take a 20 mile round trip

Many of the dcs activities are outwith the little village we live in and there is no public transport to them. We have no supermarket, library etc.

I know a couple of families here who only have one car but tbh they find it very difficult and rely heavily on lifts and favours from friends. Noone minds this but it must be a pain for them to have to ask all the time.

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