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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think we cant be the only family?

125 replies

evilgdil · 26/04/2011 18:06

Who 'only' have 1 car? I dont drive, have never learnt, have very little desire to do so. Oh drives, likes driving, needs to drive to get to work. He works, i dont. Even when i do, i will need a job near home to be near schools etc. People are always commenting that i should learn to drive. I see it might be useful but it costs a bomb, and we couldnt afford to run two cars anyway! Do most families have 2 drivers and 2 cars? Is our set up that strange?

OP posts:
BecauseImWorthIt · 26/04/2011 18:50

We only have one, which I drive most of the time. I do a lot of driving as I have clients all over the country or need to visit different companies all over the place. DH drives, but doesn't need the car as he gets the tube to work.

We also have easy access to all kinds of amenities and shops, so really don't need another car.

But that's a separate issue from the not driving one. I think, like others have said, that it's not only a life skill, but it's an important part of your independence. I couldn't bear to be dependent on my DH or anyone else to drive me somewhere.

WinterOfOurDiscountTents · 26/04/2011 18:53

We have 2 bangers cars, as do most families we know, but we live in the back arse of nowhere with 2 buses a day to the nearest town, so its pretty much essential. I couldn't drive until I was 26.

I do think driving is a skill that women should have, something about being reliant on the man and his car sits wrongly with me, but thats a personal thing and I wouldn't say anything to you if I knew you. Your choice, if you're happy with it, thats all that matters.

dixiechick1975 · 26/04/2011 18:54

Agree with lifeskill comments. Even if you share one car - learning to drive is a skill you may need one day.

I have a relative who never learnt and was chauffered around by DH. He recently had to go in hospital for knee surgery - when I enquired how he was all she told me all about how much the taxi was each way and how many buses she had to get every day (he was in a few weeks). There is a perfectly good car parked in their garage, hospital is 20 mins drive away...but no use if you can't drive.

cat64 · 26/04/2011 18:55

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MumInBeds · 26/04/2011 18:57

We are one car and two drivers here.

Both my parents can drive but my mum has refused to for years, my dad doesn't complain but it does seem unfair on him.

wentshopping · 26/04/2011 18:57

We have three cars.Biscuit We live in huge sprawling US city with no safe public transport - unless you like a gun in your face - so we had a car each for dh to get to work, and for me to drive dcs around. When dc3 got her power wheelchair we had to get a vehicle with a ramp, and never got round to selling other car - which is used by visiting relatives, or to cart stuff to dump etc, and will soon be dc1's learning vehicle. I could not live without a way to get dd to hospital/doctors/ therapy clinic, or a way to go to supermarket and buy a week's shopping, with a wheelchair in tow. So, 3 cars = bad but you guys all cancel me out :) (so, thanks!)

flyingspaghettimonster · 26/04/2011 18:58

both myself and my husband only learned to drive in the last two years - we just turned 30. never needed to before - but it was starting to become an issue as everything of interest is about miles minimum from us except basic shopping needs. So we finally learned, and are a 1 car family. We are about the only people in our area I think! I thought I would hate learning to drive and would suck at it - but it was liberating, exciting and I am so free now! I can do anything, go anywhere - I am driving to Washington DC on thursday to pick up my sister fro the airport, it is 4 hours there and 4 back - I could never have done that last year... I recommend learning to drive to anyone, you never know when it will be useful. I had to drive myself to ER twice now - once when taxis refused to and once when Hubby had to stay home with the kids. I would have had to call an ambulance before, and sucked up the $500 fee for it...

DarthNiqabi · 26/04/2011 18:59

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DarthNiqabi · 26/04/2011 19:00

This reply has been deleted

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WowOoo · 26/04/2011 19:01

We have one. We used to have 2 but didn't really use car 2 that much and so the cost/ benefit didn't work out.

Prob get another if DH needed it for work but he can cycle to work and I get the car for school run and work!

We manage fine. If/When Dh changes jobs though we'll have to buy another again.

linziluv · 26/04/2011 19:02

I can afford to learn to drive but I've never had the inclination to learn! For £11.50 a week I can go anywhere by bus!
I can also get anywhere in the country by train! DP drives so shopping etc is easier.
I know I would suffer road rage...I'm bad enough as a passenger!
I also think I'd become lazy, I currently walk miles!
That said, I'm expecting DC2 so not sure how easy public transport will be from now on...will have to see! Smile

Original poster
evilgdil · 26/04/2011 19:04

Maybe its alot to do with where you live then? I can easily get me and the kids to, cinema, swimming, town, dr, hosp, dentist, friends, school, parties, town, food shopping etc without a car. Oh works shifts, and alternate weekends, so sharing a car would still mean i only got access 2 weekends a month. I do all the running about for the kids and sort any of my own activities out without relying on him.

OP posts:
Eskarina · 26/04/2011 19:06

We only have the one car, but both drive. I need it for work, DH takes the train. Never been a problem. None of anyone else's business, though we too get the comments. That's generally after we've gone through the whole you don't have a TV??? malarky.

WowOoo · 26/04/2011 19:06

Have to say that I think driving is one of those things that it's handy to be able to do. Lessons will only get more and more expensive and it gives you such a sense of freedom, not to mention safety and convenience.

We can both drive but I use the car mostly.

surprise · 26/04/2011 19:08

We live in a rural village and both drive. I hate driving, don't work, but DH works away a lot, so I need my own car to do things like shopping/visiting parents/after school activities etc as the public transport locally is rubbish.

Absolutelyfabulous · 26/04/2011 19:08

Two cars, two drivers.

I love having my own car and cannot imagine not driving, especially as DH works long hours and works away sometimes too.

Definately a life skill like swimming, cooking etc .
But then I'm frequently surprised how many people get to adulthood unable to do either of those things too.

PanicOnTheStreetsOfLondon · 26/04/2011 19:10

Only one here and I'd say we were quite unusual amongst my friends as well. There have been times when we both needed to use it but not enough to justify another one.

We used to have one each but sold them both to buy a nicer car DH gets the train to work (petrol + parking = ££££) and I mostly work from home. It hardly moves off the path most weeks.

FattyAcid · 26/04/2011 19:12

We have one car and don't use it much - live in a small city
Dp, dd and me all walk/cycle to work/school
Have cut back on car use a lot now that petrol is so £££

DarthNiqabi · 26/04/2011 19:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ProfYaffle · 26/04/2011 19:13

We only have one car, we both drive though. dh takes the train to work, says he prefers it to driving, he can chat to his friends, doesn't have to worry about parking etc I can count on one hand the number of times in a year it would be useful for us to have 2 cars so it's not worth the extra expense. Plus we only have one parking space so the other would be parked on a main road getting it's wing mirrors knocked off by passing traffic.

NoCarbsBeforeMarbs · 26/04/2011 19:25

I'm the only adult in my house so shouldn't really join this thread, but really just wanted to tell everyone that since passing my test last year, I still grin when I get in my car Grin just like that!

I passed at 29, didn't think I'd ever want to learn, but DD seemed to want me to (and will need to be taken for lessons herself in about 5 years!)so bit the bullet.

I love driving (and my car) a very lot.

If anyone is considering learning- go for it!

Serenitysutton · 26/04/2011 19:26

I am learning to drive. It's horribly expensive- costs me £200 a month and that doesn't include tests and materials. But hey, you only do it once. My husband drives. We don't have a car ATM as be usually has company cars but his current job doesn't have one.

droopypoppies · 26/04/2011 19:28

Single mum, one car Grin

Can't imagine not being able to drive, another one who lives in a rural area with unreliable buses. Buses stop running completely at about 7pm so no way of getting anywhere or of getting home after 7 pm unless I pay for a taxi. The only place further than walking distance from my home is the next town which is 16 miles away, dread to think how much a taxi would charge me for that.
If you can get through life without constantly having others do you the favour of running you here/there/everywhere, then do whatever makes you happy.
OTOH, some of my neighbours can't drive and at least 3/4 times a week are knocking on doors of people up and down the road to ask if someone can top up their electric key/pop and buy them a loaf and a pint of milk/give them a lift to town.
One neighbour bought a car but couldn't drive Confused and her 4 year old son got an ear infection. She phoned the out of hours doctor but he was going to be about 3 hours for a home visit apparently, so she was given the option of seeing someone quicker at the out of hrs dr at the hospital. She accepted and promptly phoned an ambulance to give her and her son a lift in. Shock (She told me this herself.)

cunexttuesonline · 26/04/2011 19:39

We have one car, DH drives, I haven't passed my test yet at the age of 27. So far I have spent £500 on lessons, but recently failed my theory test Blush and need to resit before I can book practical test.

Whenever I finally pass my test, I won't be able to afford my own car but will drive DHs. I hate driving though, which makes all of this difficult!

whackamole · 26/04/2011 19:42

Only I have a licence but we don't have a car. Even though I have been driving for 10 years the insurance for a large car (twins, stepson and one on the way) is extortionate! Didn't help that for a long time I simply didn't have a car as I was a student, thereby eliminating any no-claims I had.

We live on a busy bus route which leads directly into town, plus we are less than a 10 minute walk to no fewer than 4 local supermarkets! The only thing I wish we had a car for is visiting my family - we live 200 miles away so not easy to get down there. We have however successfully hired a car for less than £100 a week, which I would rather do than shell out hundreds for a car which may not even be used on a weekly basis.