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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think we cant be the only family?

125 replies

evilgdil · 26/04/2011 18:06

Who 'only' have 1 car? I dont drive, have never learnt, have very little desire to do so. Oh drives, likes driving, needs to drive to get to work. He works, i dont. Even when i do, i will need a job near home to be near schools etc. People are always commenting that i should learn to drive. I see it might be useful but it costs a bomb, and we couldnt afford to run two cars anyway! Do most families have 2 drivers and 2 cars? Is our set up that strange?

OP posts:

hester · 26/04/2011 22:48

We have no car.

drivingmisscrazy · 26/04/2011 22:57

realised I posted that thing about wine at dinner when I was obviously thinking about another life! we don't do that any more so it doesn't arise

irregularegular · 26/04/2011 23:06

We only have one car. We live in a village, but it has a station and we both take the train to work. There are occasions when a second car would be useful, but they are rare and we can always work round it - lift share, or in the last resort a taxi. We certainly couldn't justify two cars.

I'd hate not to be able to drive though. I'd feel very constrained. And think how stuck you'd be if something happened to your H.

bonkers20 · 26/04/2011 23:06

We have one car which I use 90% of the time (I mean 90% of the driving time, not 90% of my life!). DH can drive, but has a bad back so prefers not to. He cycle commutes (12 miles each way). We live in the country with a sparce bus service so now and again it's a problem, but not enough of a problem to encourage us to get another....far too darn expensive!
It does become tricky when it's service time because I need to call in my favours, but generally it works out OK....people are kind :-)

fruitshootsandheaves · 26/04/2011 23:07

we have 5 cars

Morloth · 27/04/2011 00:51

We have one car now, but for our previous 5 years in London didn't bother with one at all, there was no need.

Surburban Sydney is quite different from Central London however and I think it would be a PITA to not have a car here.

DH gets the bus to work and I walk the school run most days, but Sydney has a car culture so not having one for the groceries etc would be very annoying.

I don't understand adults who choose not to be able to drive though. It is a pretty handy skill to have in the modern world, you don't have to use it, but to not know how is a bit of a strange choice IMO.

duckypoo · 27/04/2011 01:35

Neither of us drive, Dp has bad eyesight and no desire to drive at all. I would love to learn to drive, but even if we could afford for me to learn the expense of a car is a no go .

Oh well we will survive.

shubiedoo · 27/04/2011 01:47

I learned when young, but didn't drive when away at university, so not much really. I then lived abroad and in big cities for nearly 10 years, where it would have been too scary! Only after ds1 was born 9 years ago did I learn again properly, I had to anyway as we were in Ireland with a standard car and I had learned in Canada on an automatic.

Now I can't imagine not driving! We just have 1 car, dh cycles or takes the bus to work most days. We don't have to drive to school or preschool, but I couldn't imagine waiting for dh to do the shopping when I can do it during the day with the kids. And in the evening I often meet friends or go out, it's great to be able to go wherever you want.

Driving is really important.

piprabbit · 27/04/2011 01:51

Most houses around where I live have 3 or 4 cars, one for every adult in the house. I think this is because a lot of the families have adult children who are still living at home.

Makes for some interesting parking situations when their girlfriends and boyfriends come and stay too.

Jenstar21 · 27/04/2011 02:33

We share a car, as I take public transport to work, and it seemed silly to have one sitting on the drive all week without moving. We manage to work it ok, and we can borrow one of my parents cars if really stuck.

However, I'm afraid I just don't get people who choose not to be able to drive. It's a personal bugbear of mine. It does my head in when people (friends included), whine about not being able to do things because they can't drive. For years I didn't gave a car because I couldn't afford it, but it's such an important skill. You surely must not be able to fulfill parts of many jobs, or be a responsible and independent adult without the skill.

CheerfulYank · 27/04/2011 02:39

I don't drive. (Have a phobia, which hopefully I will get over at some point!) We can only afford one too.

sunnydelight · 27/04/2011 02:42

We're really unusual here (Sydney) in that we only have one car. A second would be handy sometimes at the weekends with kids' activities but overall we can't justify the expense as DH gets the train to work. I drive a lot during the week and really enjoy DH taking over a bit at the weekend - I would feel very resentful personally if I had to do all the driving, to me it's one of those things that you share. Some people really enjoy driving though so I guess that's different.

Bigleaf · 27/04/2011 02:45

We've got one car between us, but can both drive. DH gets cabs to and from work as we live overseas and they are v cheap and plentiful so I am the main user. I could definitely live in this city without one due to the good taxi situation but it does make life easier, especially if you're out doing more than one thing at a time, so you can leave stuff in the car rather than drag it all around with you.

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 27/04/2011 03:21

As zikes has said, being able to drive is a very handy skill to have under your belt.

It could be that you'll never have need to use it but, much like taking a course in First Aid , it's a good one to tick off the list of things you hope to get around to sometime which could be beneficial to others as well as yourself.

If you have a patient friend/relative who's willing to spend time teaching you it needn't cost the earth, or you can spread the learning process over many months if necessary - ask for driving lessons as birthday/Christmas presents.

At the very least have a go at mastering the rudiments even if this means that for the time being you merely pay extra attention to the various manoeuvres that your DH is performing while you're in the passenger seat.

I regard being able to drive as being somewhat similar to owning a dishwasher or other labour saving device - I've experienced life without, and I can assure you that life with is inifinitely better.

noodle69 · 27/04/2011 05:41

Jenstar - I look at it the other way I think if you have a car its expensive, it can make you more unfit if you dont walk a lot, its good for the children to walk and for their fitness levels, its bad for the environment,you can always go out and have a drink etc.

I think there is so many great reasons for not driving I have never saw the point in it. I get all the food shopping delivered. I have never felt the need to get a car. I have a licence but I dont use it. I think its different if you live in the middle of nowhere but when I see people here get in the car to go a quarter of a mile iin the car to take their kids to school it drives me insane.

foreverondiet · 27/04/2011 05:50

We live in London. We have one car (and its 8 years old).

Both DH and I can drive but we both get the tube to work. Our nanny drives our car when I am at work, and she sometimes borrows it at weekends as she doesn't have a car, and neither does her boyfriend. So I guess we have 3 drivers and one car.

We could afford to have 2 cars but see no need!

GotArt · 27/04/2011 05:53

We are 2 drivers, one car here. DH has a motorcycle now to go to and from work, (which is actually his bosses bike that he doesn't use and gets gas money too) but if its seriously raining or snowing, (west coast Canada) then he takes the car. We also have one serious ass stroller too and now live a good area where shops are near and transit is pretty good.

I would consider getting your license though.. or at least learning how to drive in case of emergencies since you do have a car. When we lived in London, we never had a car, and never felt the need actually either though. It is a luxury really. Ours sits in the garage for the most part now.

jadziadax · 27/04/2011 05:58

We have 1 car. I drive, DH doesn't. Sometimes it drives (haha) me mad, like when I had to walk to the hospital while in labour with DD (called a taxi, but an hour later it still hadn't come). But usually I'm not bothered that he can't drive.

I was considering doing away with the expense, as I worked out it'd be cheaper for each of us to get x2 taxis plus multiple bus/train fares per week than all the costs of the car. Then my Grandma had to give away driving and now i'm at her beck and call I help her out with lifts to shop/appointments.

Finallyspring · 27/04/2011 07:21

We have no cars. Could afford to have two but choose not to. We have two children. It really isn't a problem you know.

Original poster

evilgdil · 27/04/2011 08:08

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy
i dont own a dishwasher either!!
i think you only miss what you know. so if you have never driven you dont really worry about it, but if you have then you know what you are missing. much like the dishwasher. 5 of us in the house, lots of cooking, but i have never wanted a dishwasher.

OP posts:

TimeWasting · 27/04/2011 08:32

One driver, no car here.

DH gets a lift to work, paying towards petrol every week, and we can hire or borrow a car if it's necessary. Which it hardly ever is.

Yes, it was handy when we had a car, but it was too expensive.

I'd like to learn, as yes I agree being able to drive in an emergency, or if I wanted to hire a car for a holiday etc. would be great. But we can't afford it.

DarthNiqabi · 27/04/2011 08:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WorzselMaamage · 27/04/2011 08:50

We have one car which we share. We could afford two but there's no point. If i need it in the week I take dh to work and pick him up, or he walks or gets the bus.

valiumredhead · 27/04/2011 08:52

One car, 2 drivers in this house! I would have to go back to work before we ran 2 cars - costs a fortune to keep 2 cars on the road!

mrsbiscuits · 27/04/2011 09:51

We have 2 cars but both need them for work. DH works 1 1/2 hrs away up the motorway and I have to visit various sites to induct new staff throughout south and West of the country.

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