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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think we cant be the only family?

125 replies

evilgdil · 26/04/2011 18:06

Who 'only' have 1 car? I dont drive, have never learnt, have very little desire to do so. Oh drives, likes driving, needs to drive to get to work. He works, i dont. Even when i do, i will need a job near home to be near schools etc. People are always commenting that i should learn to drive. I see it might be useful but it costs a bomb, and we couldnt afford to run two cars anyway! Do most families have 2 drivers and 2 cars? Is our set up that strange?

OP posts:
practicallyimperfect · 26/04/2011 19:45

Two drivers, one car. When we bought a house 4 years ago we sold one as we couldn't afford mortgage and running two cars.

Therefore we moved close to my work (secondary teacher, live in catchment). I walk to work or dh gives me a lift.

It was hard to start with, we live in a semi rural area in the edge of a city. However I manage. Yes I can't do everything I want with ds, couldn't do a lot of the rhythm time/baby signing type.courses as there was no bus.

But the children's centre is 45min walk/30 min cycle and there is a bus too.

People don't understand though and ask me all the time "how I cope"

MintyMoo · 26/04/2011 19:46

It is possible to cope without driving. My Mum's the only driver in our family (Dad tried to learn but failed miserably, since I've been diagnosed with SN it's become obvious he has SN too. Some types of SN can make driving extremely difficult which explains why he struggled).

I don't drive, I only realised I had something 'wrong' with me when attempting to learn to drive was so hard. I still have nightmares about it, just being a passenger in a car now makes me feel frightened, the thought of being in control of one gives me a panic attack. My driving instructor used to scream at me to get my 'fucking head tested' - I was literally that bad, I almost killed 3 pedestrians, myself twice, the instructor twice and a lorry driver one. In 9 lessons.

Now I know I have SN I feel comfortable not learning to drive. My dyspraxia is so severe I don't believe I'll ever be able to learn, I can't tell my left from my right, I drove on the wrong side of the road once without realising the difference. I couldn't even release the handbreak myself, I'm hypermobile and suffer from chronic pain. The driving itself was agony, my feet and legs screamed at me for days afterwards. My ankles are so loose they would roll and I would lose control of the pedals.

I am fed up of people (in RL) telling me my life is over and useless if I don't learn though. No-one said that to my friend with epilepsy who couldn't drive until it went away (juvenile in her case, hasn't had a seizure for about 6-7 years now). I have managed thus far without a car, the walking does me good on the days I can walk and I can always get the bus/train :)

I know loads of families who just have one car, even if they have 2 drivers. It's not weird IMO.

rasta · 26/04/2011 19:52

We're a one car family.

We also live rural and can't get anywhere without the car, including DDs school. Nearest bus stop is a 2 mile walk away. I won't lie, it totally sucks ass.

fluffles · 26/04/2011 19:54

we have two licences but only one car - i'd like to keep it that way but i'm facing redundancy at the end of july and i'm glad that i at least have the option of applying for jobs that require driving, even if for environmental reasons i'd rather not.

GiddyPickle · 26/04/2011 19:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

foxinthewoods · 26/04/2011 20:35

I don't drive, biggest mistake ever as I did start and then gave up. I don't actually like driving and am a nervous passenger. I live out in the sticks with a crap bus service, and days like today (am off work doing the 3 days which make 11 thing) am stuck in the house as DP is at work. Shite really, as would love to go out and about but bussing and training is a massive effort and not cheap.

ByTheSea · 26/04/2011 20:36

We only have one car which I drive. DH hates driving. He cycles and walks a lot.

GloriaSmut · 26/04/2011 20:48

We've only got one car. Both of us drive but are also rather fierce about unnecessary car usage and find we manage perfectly well by a little bit of forward planning and the use of public transport. And we live miles from anywhere although, in fairness, this will change when we move back to civilisation!

Scholes34 · 26/04/2011 20:56

One car, two drivers, seven bicycles. Luckily we live close to work and school. It would change our household budget so much to have to drive to work, and a second car is out of the question. With 3 DCs, it does mean arranging lift shares for activities, but everyone is willing to help each other out. This is small city living. Bus fares are expensive. Train fares elsewhere are expensive. I remember living in London 20 years ago when you could just turn up at the railway station and buy a long distance train ticket that was affordable. And as for bus fares in this city - I'm just pleased we can cycle everywhere!

feedthegoat · 26/04/2011 21:00

I don't drive so we are a one car family.

I use the bus for work and ds and I walk alot. It really doesn't bother me to be honest. I had lessons but hated it.

Takver · 26/04/2011 21:11

Only one car here (though we do also have a tractor Grin ).

I can drive, but owing to a joint problem I can't do long distances without it causing pain, so in practice I haven't driven further than the nearest train station for the last 7 years.

I'm not sure I buy the argument about it being an essential life skill. I know plenty of people who don't drive (either can't or no car) who survive perfectly well in extremely rural areas using a combination of walking, bike and public transport.

I do think from what I've seen plus my own experience it is much harder (though not impossible) to do without a car in a very rural area if you have more than one pre-school child at a time.

mankyscotslass · 26/04/2011 21:13

Dh drives, I don't.

TBH it woould make life easier if I could help out. I hated my lessons, was terrified and my intsructor said "Mrs Manky, you have spacial awareness issues", which never really helped.

I have never sat my test.

That said, we could not afford another car anyway, and could not afford lessons at the moment either.

So I walk or take public transport unless DH is around!

ConfessionsOfAnAchingFanjo · 26/04/2011 21:16

No car here. Just can't afford it. We do ask the annoying AA people what the cost would be to insure the pushchair from time to time though Grin

NinkyNonker · 26/04/2011 21:18

We 'only' have one. At one point we did have three though. Blush (Well, two cars and a campervan.)

We went down to one when I stopped work with DD. We live walking distance to town, have decent bus and train links and DH only works 5 miles away so in the summer he can cycle, or I drop him at work and use the car. In our 'circle' we are the only ones with one car, bar a couple who work at the same firm. It wasn't just a financial choice, it just seemed excessive.

TBH, if we still had 2 cars I would probably use one fairly regularly. But I wouldn't need to, there would be a lot of laziness. As it is I walk to the supermarket for weekly shops and tend to have the car once a week to go to a group and fit any other trips into that day.

I don't miss having a car at all.

Tenthousandmen · 26/04/2011 21:18

We don't drive, there's never been a need to. We live in central London, five minutes' walk to a tube/BR station and there are bus stops nearby serving a total of nine routes across town, about half of which run all night. There's never been any problem travelling anywhere, we can get to all mainline stations easily and all the London airports. It's far cheaper than using a car and paying for petrol/parking as children travel free on buses here. We also walk a lot as all local amenities are nearby, including schools, shops and bank etc.

onehotmomma · 26/04/2011 21:22

We are a 1 car family. I can't drive either. I have the opportunity to do my lessons if I wanted too but there is no point as we can't really afford the one car we have let alone two. Plus DH uses it for work during the week so no point getting myself insured on it as he will need it most of the time :(

NorthernGobshite · 26/04/2011 21:22

One car here too. I drive, dh cycles - he has never been remotely interested in driving.

Ragwort · 26/04/2011 21:23

whackamole - would you mind telling us where you can hire a car for around £100 a week - sounds a really good deal. Thank you.

NinkyNonker · 26/04/2011 21:26

I learnt at 17, as did all my friends. I can't imagine not knowing how to drive, my late teens and single 20-ies would have been very different!

Also, all previous jobs I have had mentioned a full, clean licence as either essential or desirable. They weren't driving jobs, but professional jobs that just required working out of other offices and meetings etc.

Madsometimes · 26/04/2011 21:26

One car and two drivers.

We used to have two, but dh never used his so he sold it. Our one remaining car is a Micra, but it is plenty for us.

Dh is a member of a car club, so he has options on the rare occassions when two cars would be useful.

lazylula · 26/04/2011 21:34

We have 2 cars here. Dh has a car as a work vehicle, we have tried to use it as the family car but it doesn't work, the car seats do not fit in with all the paint pots ect that he carries, so I have the 'family' car. I love the freedom having the car gives me.

NoCarbsBeforeMarbs · 26/04/2011 22:39

Ragwort Enterprise do car hire for around £100 week
www.enterprise.co.uk/car_rental/location.do?selectedLocationId=U711&transactionId=WebTransaction1

XH works abroad, and used to hire from them to get back from the airport (cheaper than taxi Grin)

NoCarbsBeforeMarbs · 26/04/2011 22:40

Though it's more £££ to rent from airport.

drivingmisscrazy · 26/04/2011 22:43

one car, one driver; DP doesn't drive, but we don't use the car very much. I cycle to work. Only time it's an issue is when DP is preg when it would be great if she could drive so that I could drink wine at dinner. It is expensive to run, and sometimes I wonder if we really need it - but it is handy for shopping, dropping MIL home, picking up flat-packs, going to allotment

thisisyesterday · 26/04/2011 22:45

we only have one car.
we both drive, but we share the car. if dp needs it then i walk or use public transport.
but we're lucky that we live walking distance to school and to his place of work