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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think taking kids to a civil partnership is no different from taking them to a wedding?

111 replies

namechange5635 · 26/04/2011 16:29

Namechanged because things are bad between me and (not-so-D)H at the moment as it is and I don't want people I know on here to know that.

Had an invitation through the door today to the civil partnership (ceremony and reception) of quite a good friend of mine. Husband has already said he will come with me (we knew the invite was on its way).

He got home from work just now and I told him the invitation had arrived and that I'd put the date on the calendar. He said "Oh, ok, I suppose we'll have to arrange childcare. Maybe my mum will be able to babysit". I told him the invite was for all of us, DCs included. He immediately looked horrified and said that of course we couldn't take the kids to a gay wedding. I gave him a Hmm look and he muttered something about it being inappropriate. He's now sitting on his arse watching the cricket and refusing to talk about it.

DCs are 8 and 1, btw. Obviously DS (1) will be too young to understand what's going on anyway, but DD has met the couple in question and understands that they are getting married, much like any other couple would.

I'm not being unreasonable to think he's being an absolutely massive, immature twat, am I?

OP posts:
Soups · 26/04/2011 16:31

He's a twat.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 26/04/2011 16:31

YANBU - and yes he is being a twat, esp given the fact that DS has already met the couple in question, he wont give it a second thought.....you DH is turning it into something it isnt!

Shame your DH isnt as opened minded as your DS !

steamedtreaclesponge · 26/04/2011 16:31

Nope, you are definitely NBU. Is he normally a homophobic twat?

controlpantsandgladrags · 26/04/2011 16:31

YANB at all U. Is he usually homophobic?

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 26/04/2011 16:31

DD sorry!!

Groovee · 26/04/2011 16:31

He's being a twat! Or else he was hoping to let his hair down so to speak and with 2 kids there he won't be able to do that!

ChaoticAngelofchocolateeggs · 26/04/2011 16:32

YANBU He's being an absolutely massive, immature twat

magicmummy1 · 26/04/2011 16:33

Yanbu. He's an idiot!

squeakytoy · 26/04/2011 16:33

It is a wedding, what on earth does he think happens at a civil ceremony? Shagging in front of the registrar and a sacrificial slaughter?

Eglu · 26/04/2011 16:34

YANBU. Your DD already knows about the couple and their relationship, so what is the problem?

Folicacid · 26/04/2011 16:34

YANBU He's being a homophobe.

He is happy to go to celebrate their partnership, but not happy for his daughter to witness it as it's 'inappropriate'? I'd say it is inappropriate for him to go to the ceremony and reception if he feels like that.

ViolaTricolor · 26/04/2011 16:34

YANBU, he is being awful! Haven't there been any previous signs of his homophobia?

Vicky2011 · 26/04/2011 16:35

and just so you are sure, he is being a TWAT!

When he has come out of cave let us know.

Original poster
namechange5635 · 26/04/2011 16:35

He's normally a bit of an opinionated twat about everything, never noticed outward homophobia before though. Although thinking about it, in front of the DCs he refers to my gay friend's partner as his "friend" in a snidey Hmm voice but I'd never really picked up on it before.

Shit. He IS a twat, isn't he? Angry

OP posts:
hebejebe · 26/04/2011 16:36

YANBU - We took our children to our very good friends' civil partnership. They were totally unfazed by the experience and only expressed shock/surprise as they thought they were already married!

alarkaspree · 26/04/2011 16:36

He's being weird and illogical. Is he happy to go himself or is he going under pressure from you? Why don't you take the kids and your dh can go round to his mum's?

millie30 · 26/04/2011 16:38

YANBU, he is! I'm taking my DS to a civil partnership this summer, never even considered anyone would think it inappropriate.

HeadfirstForHalos · 26/04/2011 16:39

Yes, send him around to his mums, and take the kids!

YANBU, he is being a twatty twat-twat!

Lizziefinch · 26/04/2011 16:40

YANBU. Hope he gets over it and starts to talk to you. Good luck

ViolaTricolor · 26/04/2011 16:41

Argh I hate that 'friend' thing. My DP's dad calls me that because he thinks the word 'partner' is for business and we're not married. One day I'm going to ask him if he shags his 'friends'.

meditrina · 26/04/2011 16:41

Are the DCs actually named on the invitation?

It is just like a wedding, and only those invited should go.

ButterpieandCheese · 26/04/2011 16:42

He's a twat. Or maybe we have time travelled back by about 50 years?

nepenthe3 · 26/04/2011 16:43

Perhaps you could get the babysitter for DH! YANBU, he most certainly is!

Original poster
namechange5635 · 26/04/2011 16:43

I told him that if that's how he felt then I would take the DCs by myself and he could stay at home. He snorted and told me I was being melodramatic, and repeated that it was inappropriate. He doesn't appear to be able to tell me WHY, though Hmm

Thank you everyone for confirming that he's being a twat though

OP posts:
Original poster
namechange5635 · 26/04/2011 16:45

meditrina Yes, the DCs are specifically named on the invitation. His objection is not that he doesn't think they are invited, just that we shouldn't allow them to go because it's not appropriate Confused

OP posts: