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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think taking kids to a civil partnership is no different from taking them to a wedding?

111 replies

namechange5635 · 26/04/2011 16:29

Namechanged because things are bad between me and (not-so-D)H at the moment as it is and I don't want people I know on here to know that.

Had an invitation through the door today to the civil partnership (ceremony and reception) of quite a good friend of mine. Husband has already said he will come with me (we knew the invite was on its way).

He got home from work just now and I told him the invitation had arrived and that I'd put the date on the calendar. He said "Oh, ok, I suppose we'll have to arrange childcare. Maybe my mum will be able to babysit". I told him the invite was for all of us, DCs included. He immediately looked horrified and said that of course we couldn't take the kids to a gay wedding. I gave him a Hmm look and he muttered something about it being inappropriate. He's now sitting on his arse watching the cricket and refusing to talk about it.

DCs are 8 and 1, btw. Obviously DS (1) will be too young to understand what's going on anyway, but DD has met the couple in question and understands that they are getting married, much like any other couple would.

I'm not being unreasonable to think he's being an absolutely massive, immature twat, am I?

OP posts:
RunAwayWife · 27/04/2011 16:02

I don't think if someone is not comfortable with homosexuality it automatically means that they are harbouring suppressed homosexual feelings them self, I think that is a bit of a stupid attitude to have really.

While I do not agree with the OPs husband I do think he has a right to be a twat express his feelings

WinterOfOurDiscountTents · 27/04/2011 16:14

Its like not being comfortable with trees, or oxygen. It just is, it makes no difference who is comfortable or not.
And he can express his opinion, and everyone else can ridicule him for it and think a lot less of him. Thats how it works.

RunAwayWife · 27/04/2011 16:24

But I think it is childish to say he is a closet gay just because he is being a twat.

As I said before I don't have a problem with same sex couples lots of people I know are in same sex relationships and I have no problem with my children attending civil partnerships, the OPs husband might be being a twat but it is wrong to say he is hiding his own homosexual feelings just because he does not approve of this couples sexuality.

Leave him at home take the children to the partnership and let him stew in his own juice

Insomnia11 · 27/04/2011 16:26

My kids have been to a very good friend's civil partnership. Another one of my husband's work colleague the kids didn't go to because they weren't invited - which is fair enough as the venue wasn't child friendly.

It is just the same - the main difference for me is between a religious wedding ceremony which is different from a wedding/partnership in a civil venue.

To me it's the same as objecting on the basis of race. Unacceptable.

WinterOfOurDiscountTents · 27/04/2011 16:34

But if he can say stupid things about exposing kids to that lifestyle then people can say whatever stupid thing about him or to him that they like, IMO. I wouldn't care if its childish or daft, he's a twat and deserves anything he gets

frgr · 27/04/2011 16:39

"he's being an absolutely massive, immature twat"

You forgot homophobic, as other posters have pointer out.

YANBU.

RunAwayWife · 27/04/2011 17:35

But he is in the wrong for saying such things, saying stupid things back is also wrong

vmcd28 · 27/04/2011 18:28

Runawaywife, it's also wrong to call me other posters stupid when they were giving the op an opinion, which she asked us to give

vmcd28 · 27/04/2011 18:34

Runawaywife, so it's impossible that he could be uncomfortable in his own sexuality? No, it is possible. Case closed.

Jix · 27/04/2011 18:45

Don't even try to get into a reasoned conversation about "why" its inappropriate. It's a gut reaction on his part and he won't be able to give a decent explanation of why (that's because there isn't one).
He'll probably just get angry when challenged (which often happens when people's prejudices are put up to the light).
I'd just leave and quietly accept for all of you.
If it comes to the day and he refuses to go, just make up an excuse for him.

RunAwayWife · 28/04/2011 08:02

If his dad is homophobic chances are he has grown up being drip fed rubbish and is not man enough to form his own view, although saying that my late FIL was very homophobic but DH is not, although his brother and sister can come out with some amazing crap.

Some of the stuff my in laws came out with was shocking, was out with MIL once in Devon when a coach of Special needs adults pulled up and she turned to her grand daughter (not my child) and told her to look at the dolly dimples! Shock Her daughter said (on finding out that DS1 is SN (AS) said we should have been put down at birth) and don't get me started on the racist stuff,

My in-laws are not hiding and suppressing anything, they are just biggots

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