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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think taking kids to a civil partnership is no different from taking them to a wedding?

111 replies

namechange5635 · 26/04/2011 16:29

Namechanged because things are bad between me and (not-so-D)H at the moment as it is and I don't want people I know on here to know that.

Had an invitation through the door today to the civil partnership (ceremony and reception) of quite a good friend of mine. Husband has already said he will come with me (we knew the invite was on its way).

He got home from work just now and I told him the invitation had arrived and that I'd put the date on the calendar. He said "Oh, ok, I suppose we'll have to arrange childcare. Maybe my mum will be able to babysit". I told him the invite was for all of us, DCs included. He immediately looked horrified and said that of course we couldn't take the kids to a gay wedding. I gave him a Hmm look and he muttered something about it being inappropriate. He's now sitting on his arse watching the cricket and refusing to talk about it.

DCs are 8 and 1, btw. Obviously DS (1) will be too young to understand what's going on anyway, but DD has met the couple in question and understands that they are getting married, much like any other couple would.

I'm not being unreasonable to think he's being an absolutely massive, immature twat, am I?

OP posts:
ViolaTricolor · 26/04/2011 19:27

'life style choice'?!

PiaThreeTimes · 26/04/2011 19:31

What?! You'd consider taking your young children to a same-sex civil ceremony? YABU and totally insane.

I'm with your DH. It's totally inappropriate for young children to be exposed to the company of homosexuals.

ANYTHING could happen.

Grin
PiaThreeTimes · 26/04/2011 19:32

supergreenuk, it's never "too late to back away". Think of the children!

AngryGnome · 26/04/2011 19:36

you know, i've heard of cases where children have developed a love of Broadway musicals and chronic jazz hands syndrome after attending a CP.

(goes off to check back copies of the Daily Mail)

BigSooz · 26/04/2011 19:36

YANBU. Your DH is being a homophobic dickhead.

supergreenuk, what are you on about? Being gay isn't a 'lifestyle choice', FGS!

On second thoughts, yeah, keep your kids at home and shelter them from those immoral gay people having the cheek to declare their love and commitment to their partner for life. It could rub off on the little innocents. Hmm

RunAwayWife · 26/04/2011 19:37

Will there be swans? There should always be swans at a gay wedding, I saw so on Sex and the city 2

FakePlasticTrees · 26/04/2011 19:37

well, if he won't discuss his reasons for not taking them, tell him you are taking them, unless he can come up with a rational, non-homophobic argument why not to take them. Then drop the subject if he refuses to discuss it/argue his case.

But yes, it does sound like you've married a twat, sorry about that.

dustycups · 26/04/2011 19:38

send your dh round to meet mine and my girlfriends 5 children!! my god if going to a gay wedding is inappropiate for kids how are our children going to turned out being raised by gay parents!

PiaThreeTimes · 26/04/2011 19:39

AngryGnome, it's awful. I took (naively) DD to a gays' ceremony. Two women, 'marrying' each other. Hmm

OK, it's early days, as DD's only 3, but I am keeping an eye for a penchant for Doc Martens and hair gel. You can't be too careful.

At least the DH in this instance has some sense. He sounds like a great guy, actually.

AngryGnome · 26/04/2011 19:41

Why don't you ask him to explain to the couple in question why their relationship is inappropriate?

Oh wait, thats right. There isn't a rationale behind bigotry.

Sorry he is a twat. Just make sure the DCs know he is a twat about this.

BigSooz · 26/04/2011 19:41

The OP's DH needs to examine his basic beliefs.

'Gay people are alright...but not around my kids' is a horribly ignorant attitude.

Children being 'exposed' to love between people is a fantastic thing no matter what sex they are. This is what sane people I believe, anyhow.

MardyBra · 26/04/2011 19:42

supergreenUK "And before anyone accuses me of being homophobic you can think again as you have no idea of my background."

I think your post is enough to accuse you of homophobia and I couldn't give a shit about your background.

PiaThreeTimes are you being ironic?

AngryGnome · 26/04/2011 19:44

pia - what do you mean, two women? Shurely shome mistake? I had hitherto believed this aberation to be solely the preserve of men. I shall go and seek the advice of my consort, Albert.

PiaThreeTimes · 26/04/2011 19:46

MardyBra, I think the DH is a complete an utter twat of the highest order.

BOMgoneoff · 26/04/2011 19:46

It's not appropriate for HIM to go. I'm sure the couple in question would prefer to spend the money on guests who actually resepct them. The kids on the otherhand should most definitely go.

maighdlin · 26/04/2011 19:47

does he think they will "catch" gay? YANBU he is being a twat

PiaThreeTimes · 26/04/2011 19:47

Oh, AngryGnome, don't be silly, I couldn't have meant two women, could I? Come now! Don't worry Prince Albert with this issue!

RunAwayWife · 26/04/2011 19:48

I don't get why your DH was happy to go but not take the children.

I took my children to the wedding anniversary of some very dear friends who's grown up daughter is gay and was there with her partner, it was the first time either of them had met my children who were 5 and 1 at the time, so my friends daughter is talking to DS1 and says I am Jenny (not real name) and this is Rose (not real name) so DS1 said is she your sister and Jenny was all um no she is um my friend, well um my special friend, we um well we live together, at which point DS1 says oh so your lesbians then you can say that word you know is not a bad word, and wondered off to get cake.

She cracked up, but as I know quite a few same sex couples she and her partner were nothing new to DSs and so far neither of them have a passion for musicals or strip lighting despite me letting a gay friend babysit

FriedEggyAndSlippery · 26/04/2011 19:48

I bet he's said "I don't mind people being gay, just don't shove it in our faces"

MardyBra · 26/04/2011 19:49

Grin and Blush Pia. Sorry I thought you were being ironic but I just wanted to check. It's surprising what you do read sometimes on MN!

wook · 26/04/2011 19:50

Oh dear namechange your children have already been 'exposed to this lifestyle'... what signs are they exhibiting?! If you take them to the wedding they could be corrupted FOREVER! They may even grow up to be liberal and humane - are you sure you want this for them?

Your dh is being twattish to watch the cricket in the first place, let alone watching the cricket incommunicado in a homophobia-related sulk.

YANBU!

CareyFakes · 26/04/2011 19:50

YANBU, he's being a bit of a dick, if I may be so bold in branding him.

Go and enjoy, my poor DD, she's surrounded by them gays and lesbians, I'm more worried about the straighties Wink

FriedEggyAndSlippery · 26/04/2011 19:51

Oh runawaywife that is such a funny story, bless your DS :o

AngryGnome · 26/04/2011 19:53

Pia Glad to hear it. I was concerned for a moment you were one of these radicals. I don't know, you'll be wanting the vote next.

OP - is your DH an events manager by any chance? Link

BigSooz · 26/04/2011 19:54

PMSL@wook!