Please please advise me!

[CrazyOrCautious]

Can someone please advise me what to do. DGM and her boyfriend (SEE OTHER THREAD) have just left to go to the hotel they are staying in. And something irreplaceable and very precious to me has gone missing. I am devastated. Literally sat in here in tears. What do I do. I'm tempted to go to were they are staying and look. But all hell will brake loose if I start accusing people. What do I do???
I'm gutted.

CrazyOrCautious, unlike many here, I understand your position with your gran. So many people assume that at 80+ folk are no longer able to make decisions for themselves, and simple age makes one vulnerable... I have a very good friend of 83, with absolutely all of his marbles (and excellent physical health) who very much resents his DIL's attempts to "help", because he really doesn't need it.

But she will insist on sticking her neb in.

(Sorry for the double post)

That is exactly my fear. I don't want to wade in and end up with her in a worse position than before. I want to make sure it's done with out a knee jerk reaction to her age.

Yes she shows some signs of her age but mostly she is with it and will continue to be independent for a long time yet. I know what is happening is wrong but I also know she will not appreciate being seen as a victim.

She loves her family more than any thing but we are miles away can't offer her the time she has with this man. I am in no way condoning what is going on just saying it needs to be handled in the same way you might with a women of half her age who is fiercely independent and who was being abused.

I'm so sorry I have nothing else useful to contribute; I see your POV and your mum's POV, too. :(

Is there anyone who might mediate? (I'm thinking family/your mum's friends, rather than a professional)