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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Please please advise me!

129 replies

CrazyOrCautious · 25/04/2011 22:33

Can someone please advise me what to do. DGM and her boyfriend (SEE OTHER THREAD) have just left to go to the hotel they are staying in. And something irreplaceable and very precious to me has gone missing. I am devastated. Literally sat in here in tears. What do I do. I'm tempted to go to were they are staying and look. But all hell will brake loose if I start accusing people. What do I do???
I'm gutted.

OP posts:
Bogeyface · 25/04/2011 22:51

I dont think calling the police would be a bad thing actually.

As far as the OP is concerned they have been the victim of theft, and as a matter of course the police would interview the DGM and BF as they visited the house on the day of the theft. Of course if the police then find the item or decide that the BF is a suspect then that isnt the OPs fault, she thought she had been burgled! she doesnt have to let on that she told the police her suspicions.

Far easier to let the police take the flak for accusing him than the OP!

GypsyMoth · 25/04/2011 22:51

yes,where was it last?

LoopyLoopsNincompoop · 25/04/2011 22:51

Could it be an honest mistake?

Either way, depending on how important the item is, I think you should call the police.

Ishani · 25/04/2011 22:51

I'd call the police and tell them you've been robbed if you are 100% sure it's missing before the porn shops open in the morning.

Newgolddream · 25/04/2011 22:54

ishani - youve made me laugh, sorry, Ive got visions now..I take it you meant pawn shops? Grin

Birdsgottafly · 25/04/2011 22:55

If he has stolen the item then you need to take control of this situation regardless of your GM feelings.

SlightlyJaded · 25/04/2011 22:56

What lisad said -or any variatiion on that theme. Go round there (don't pre warn with a call), tell them something precious is missing and although it is very embarrassing, would they mind checking their bags/pockets invade they accidently scooped it up on your DS popped it in a pocket or something in play (hideous to implicate DS but forgivable under the circumstances). If it does turn up, your best bet is to say "brilliant, so glad it turned up" and leave it ŵt that for the time being. Then perhaps talk to the rest of the family about how you help your DGM see the light.

I am still Shock at the sleeping on the floor.

Bogeyface · 25/04/2011 22:56

And another thought, if he has stolen from you, what is he stealing from your GM?

You could be doing her a favour and helping her see what she doesnt want to see.

This is of course IF it is him, I am not assuming it is.

Ishani · 25/04/2011 22:57

Yes that as well Wink

Bogeyface · 25/04/2011 22:58

And, yet another thought, as you dont know his history, I wouldnt risk confronting him myself simply because you dont know how he will react and what the consequences could be. The police would be better handling him if he has an "odd episode" as you called them in your other thread.

GypsyMoth · 25/04/2011 22:59

he gambles you say.......theres the motive i guess

GypsyMoth · 25/04/2011 22:59

pawn shops.....check them tomorrow

squeakytoy · 25/04/2011 22:59

or your DS popped it in a pocket or something in play

genius idea!!! that is the absolute perfect excuse without making it look like any stealing has gone on..

Birdsgottafly · 25/04/2011 23:00

If you do go there, stay closest to the door so that you have an escape route, you do no know how he will react.

Bogeyface · 25/04/2011 23:03

I was thinking more of the consequences to the OPs grandma when the OP has left Birdgottafly The OP would leave but the GM would have to stay there and we are after all talking about a man who makes an 80 year old woman sleep on the floor :(

Original poster
CrazyOrCautious · 25/04/2011 23:11

I have text DGM asking if she may have picked it up by mistake. And she hasnt. He wont admit to it even if he did take them and she obviously will not look in his bag. I feel physically sick. He gambls and commented on the item today. I cant risk upsetting my GM further so looks like I shall have to leave it. Im in pieces. But at least it wasn't something worse. The whole situation is seeming more fucked up the more I think about it and hear opinions.

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 25/04/2011 23:14

even if he did take them??? more than one item then?

Bogeyface · 25/04/2011 23:17

Crazy, i really do think you need to ring the police if only to protect your GM. She doesnt want to see how he is treating her and perhaps this will be the wake up call she needs.

Why should he be allowed to treat her like that and also get away with theft from you (the fact he talked about the item has removed any doubt it was him for me) just because you are frightened of upsetting her?

She needs someone to stand up for her and that someone may have to be you, please do this for her.

SarahStrattonsHotCrossBunnies · 25/04/2011 23:19

Oh dear. I'm with the others, time for the police and pdq before he has a chance to get rid. What a shitty position to be in, poor you.

squeakytoy · 25/04/2011 23:21

Definately ring the police. He could be completely fleecing your grandmother too already by the sounds of it.

colditz · 25/04/2011 23:23

You HAVE to ring the police before he fences it.

TheSkiingGardener · 25/04/2011 23:24

Police. Sorry. Make the call now as you have contacted your GM already and she won't check his stuff.

Better now and be wrong than have been right but stayed silent when your GM is left with nothing.

CarnivalBizarre · 25/04/2011 23:24

The BF commented on the item today and now its missing - he has a history of gambling .... call the police! It makes perfect sense that he has stolen the item - don't give him the opportunity to porn it ...get him searched before he has the chance to dispose of it

You owe him nothing .... your granny might be a bit hacked off but if the item has sentimental value, you obviously will want it back regardless of a grandma sulk/ hissy fit

Maryz · 25/04/2011 23:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

blackeyedsusan · 25/04/2011 23:32

skiing gardener makes sense...

(except when trampling the flowers when trying to garden in skis )