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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Need advice badly!!!

383 replies

worriedandneedsomeadvice · 25/04/2011 16:54

I've just been at the garden centre with my 7 month DD and my 4 year old cocker spaniel.

A man bent down to stroke my dog before I could tell him not to and my dog went for him. Badly. His hand was dripping blood immediately.

I apologised and apologised and my BIL (the manager of the garden centre) took over to make sure the man was okay so I could take the dog (and DD) out.

He's been a bit growly lately but has never done anything like this before.

I'm shaking. I don't know what's going to happen and I don't know what to do.

He's fantastic with my DD, gentle as a lamb with her but as I said, lately he's been growly, especially at children he doesn't know so I've made sure to keep him on a lead and mostly just at home. But he loves BIL so I always take him to the garden centre when we go...

I can't believe this has happened. I don't know what to do. I'm waiting for BIL to call me, but the mans hand looked terrible... Absolutely dripping with blood. It was so quick.

Please give me some advice if you can??

OP posts:
soverylucky · 26/04/2011 11:17

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hollyoaks · 26/04/2011 11:19

OP - that's entirely up to you, I hope the vet can find the cause and sort him out and I hope Worral is wrong re the man who was bitten.

vintageteacups · 26/04/2011 11:19

So worried what if the dog attacked your dd? would you honestly put her in danger in order to keep your family pet?

Sorry to be blunt but if a dog attacks a flock of sheep, it's PTS quickly. That is because it'll do it again.

I understand you love your dog but imagine if that man's hand at the garden centre had been your dd's face whilst sitting in her pushchair.

ChippingInLovesEasterEggs · 26/04/2011 11:19

Yes, just have the dog killed for lashing out. Lashing out at a big strange man shoving his hand in his face when he was on a lead with you and the baby, honestly, your delay in doing this and actually wanting to see a vet, behavioural therapist and do some training is disgraceful ... Hmm

Worried - try not to take it personally, some people will just never understand (it's scary they have animals & children quite frankly), don't let it upset you.

Some of you are the blood thirsty ones. Just have the dog killed! Why? Why when it can be trained & 'sorted out'.

Val - I think I used the wrong word... I didn't really mean 'unbelievable'. more incredibly sad/angry!!

Freesia - frankly it's good you are a non practising vet if animals are so disposable to you.

I wonder if the same people who are advocating having the dog killed are the same people who would fight against the death penalty (for humans)?

LostMyIdentityAlongTheWay · 26/04/2011 11:21

At the risk of getting flamed, which I was a bit last time... can I point out - this is NOT derogatory to any dog owners - it's the DOG we're all talking about, not the owner. Worried is clearly a most responsible owner, that's not up for debate. But my point remains - although Valhalla et al do raise very valid points about dog ownership, rehoming, training, etc... the fact remains that although we can all cite examples of cases where rehab/whatever has worked / not worked... SOMEBODY has to be the statistic, and heaven forfend that it is giong to be a small child that is that statistic.

I repeat - SOMEBODY has to be the statistic. Why is this apparently such a dreadful thing to point out? or - IMHO - to sort of shout down those that are pointing it out? Accidents happen because they are ACCIDENTS! It's not as if an owner engineers the situation where somebody gets bitten - of course not. To suggest such would be ludicrous and inflamatory. I for one, and trust not others... am not saying that. But god forbid we should have the situation where we are involved in such a scenario where a dog has bitten - and we're the owner/the one having been bitten/parent thereof..

I'm just saying, is all.... If it were me, the dog would be out of the house, not another chance given. It is just too dreadful a potential risk to consider. However - that is what I would do. Advice was specifically asked for, and that is mine.
Worried clearly doesn't wish to take that route. Fine.

Off to have a cup of tea and watch my four cats rip the local wildlife to shreds. Calling the lawyers as I type....

worraliberty · 26/04/2011 11:22

I hope so too hollyoaks but people do tend to come to different decisions once they've had time to calm down and think Sad

vintageteacups · 26/04/2011 11:23

I'm not saying it should be PTS; it could be rehomed to a person who has no children - although I don't actually think a dog who badly bites someone could be trusted again.

I just don't understand how the OP could keep the dog in her home, knowing what she knows when she has a young dd.

soverylucky · 26/04/2011 11:23

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Original poster
worriedandneedsomeadvice · 26/04/2011 11:24

So very lucky - I posted because I was absolutely shocked that this had happened. And until I go to the vets later I don't know what I'm going to do - all I know is what I'm not going to do.

And don't for one second insinuate that I'm not being a good mother to my child, because you'll be crossing a line. I personally believe that working on problems with hard work and advice and teaching her love and kindness and that family members aren't disposable makes me a much better mother than someone who would be so willing to throw it all away.

OP posts:
soverylucky · 26/04/2011 11:25

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freesias · 26/04/2011 11:25

and for the record valhalla and chipping in although these are my opinions and they i would react if it was my own dog .i would never allow my opinions to affect the way i treated a client or their animal .i would never treat an owner whose views were different to my own with anything but courtesy and respect . i would never force an owner to euthanase against their wishes but i would always explain and try to ensure they understood the pitfalls , expense ,time involved etc of rehoming or re training and i would advise of the risks of the incident reoccurring . the owner would then be able to make an informed decision knowing that whatever their decision and would support them in it . if however the owner decided that they wanted their dog euthanased i would abide by their wishes as they know their animal and their individual circumstances better than i could ever know.
and fwiw i do respect those who are prepared to rehabilitate dogs with severe aggression but it is not something i would personally do.

soverylucky · 26/04/2011 11:27

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Vallhala · 26/04/2011 11:27

Soverylucky the OP asked for advice. And she got that.

She was advised of the basics of the law -i.e. the Dangerous Dogs Act - she was advised of the possible outcome if the man were to demand legal action, she was advised of the treatment she could expect to receive (as in be liable in law as well as the risk to her dog) and of the treatment her dog could expect to receive if he is seized.

She was advised to take her dog into a vet and to seek the help of a qualified behviouralist. I've just pm-ed her to offer he help in finding a suitable one should she need it.

So I think that there was every reason and every point in her starting this thread.

It's titled "Need Advice Badly!" and that advice has been offered. It's been taken on board too and is being followed.

vintageteacups · 26/04/2011 11:27

Worried - I wasn't insinuating you are a bad mother; dog owners love their dogs as most pet owners love their pets. Pets are pets, they are not family memebers. Yes, they are loved by the family; they are animals and that is often forgotten and that's when people get bitten.

hollyoaks · 26/04/2011 11:28

Worrall - very true, I suppose a lot will depend on the opinion of others he talks to and how bad his hand was injured.

soverylucky · 26/04/2011 11:29

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LostMyIdentityAlongTheWay · 26/04/2011 11:29

I don't think anybody has insinuated that? They're idiots if they are. Your post asked for advice, people have given it - plus a lot more besides, IMHO. Best not to post on here in general, maybe go to one/two people from MN that you 'know', especially dog owners?
Moreover, I will add - I am not entirely convinced of the argument of training dogs equates to 'training humans' - which we all do with our children in terms of hard work/advice - instinct is a mighty powerful force. Think of us - we know lashing out is wrong, but what would we all do if somebody threated our DCs? I know I'd be up in front of the judge asap!!
Good luck - I'm sure it'll all come out right in the wash.

vintageteacups · 26/04/2011 11:30

Surely some of the posters were advising her to remove the dog from the home.

Bottleofbeer · 26/04/2011 11:35

Worried - try not to take it personally, some people will just never understand (it's scary they have animals & children quite frankly), don't let it upset you.

People have as far as I can see expressed perfectly valid opinions. It's scary that they have animals and children?

I personally find the thought of a proven aggressive dog that's been growly at children in the same house as a defenceless baby quite scary hence I've expressed the views I have done; and done so without casting aspersions on anybody parenting/animal ownership skills.

Frankly and bluntly it cannot be trusted atm, and a seven month old child wouldn't stand a chance. I'd much prefer to express my opinion even in a way the OP doesn't like than open a paper and read about a mauled baby. The dog that left my face scarred for life was a lovely, family, previously trustworthy dog and hadn't shown ANY of the aggression this dog has before he bit me. The red flags are there, if a behaviouralist can't help - and they can't always help then it's frankly irresponsible to keep him. The child comes first no matter how loved the dog is. She has to.

PuuuuurrrrrLeeeeeasse · 26/04/2011 11:46

OP, can you get advise on the breed re old age. We had a similiar dog many many moons ago and i always remember an old man stopping my dad when we were out walking him and advising him to watch how the dogs temper developed as he got older

at the time we were polite, but laughed afterwards as he was such a gentle dog. fast forward about 5 years and 1 day he just seemed to turn vicious, became totally unrecognisable. i often wonder was it a dog form of alzhimers or something similiar. he actually badly scarred an adult

was not allowed near children after that and was prone to episodes

BoscosBox · 26/04/2011 11:51

My father was told by a vet once (26yrs ago ) that his very vicious cocker had a form of
Down syndrome Hmm can a dog have DS ?

PuuuuurrrrrLeeeeeasse · 26/04/2011 11:58

BB we once had a golden lab who was a real character - he was the first DC for me and DH Grin. He died in tragic circumstances and we did go and get another lab. only then did we realise that our "DC" had learning diffiuclties (we had just thought it was the breed)

Bottleofbeer · 26/04/2011 12:07

Ours was great for the first few months, then out of absolutely nowhere she just wasn't the same dog. She'd growl really menacingly at adults she didn't know. One time I was heavily pregnant and she'd been out in the back, when I let her in she'd rolled in poo and was covered in it, my husband wasn't in, I was in no fit state (SPD) to clean it off her so had to leave her outside till he got in to sort it out. PS we are only talking a matter of half an hour or so.

Meanwhile some builders began work next door and with them being unknown adults she just went ballistic, literally throwing herself headlong at the all, it was frightening and upsetting to watch and I knew then I couldn't keep her with a newborn imminent, and frankly because of said baby I couldn't have given the time (nor experitise to be fair) needed to help her so she was re-trained as a police dog.

To this day I have no real idea of what went wrong but I was told labs do have a tendency to do that kind of thing. Still saddens me :(

Bottleofbeer · 26/04/2011 12:09

*wall

BeerTricksPotter · 26/04/2011 12:40

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