Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want young children at my baby shower?

84 replies

stella1w · 20/04/2011 05:01

I reckon this is my last change in a long time to have a quiet chat with some friends over tea and cakes and focus on ME..
This is no. 2 so I do plenty of playdates with 3yolds and what happens is they run rampant and make a big mess. I am heavily pg and just want a lowkey event.
Andif I am NOT being unreasonable how can I suggest to people they don't bring their children!

OP posts:
bleedingstill · 20/04/2011 05:10

you are highly reasonable.
Just tell them it's a kid free do.

Bubbaluv · 20/04/2011 05:56

Make the invitation light-hearted and say pretty much what you said in your OP.
"In celebration of my impending lack of child-free-time I am having a child-free party."
Have it at a nail salon so you can all sit around with a glass of bubbles and have pedis together. mmmmm

YANBU

MixedClassBaby · 20/04/2011 07:28

I don't think YABU but after being confronted by an outraged friend yesterday because her children aren't invited to my wedding, I'd say that some might take offence. Stick to your guns but be prepared for some flak.

HowToLookGoodGlaikit · 20/04/2011 07:34

YABU to have a baby shower, especially for a 2nd baby. Just my opinion though Grin

FriedEggyAndSlippery · 20/04/2011 07:36

What HowTo said. :o

Jennytailia · 20/04/2011 07:36

Make it an evening do, and explain it's needs to be kept quiet as your LO will be in bed.

I am just going to say I can never ever guess anything on mn as I thought you'd get A right flaming for this.

MamaVoo · 20/04/2011 07:36

Have it in the evening. That way it should be obvious that it's child-free and hopefully your friends will find it easier to come out (assuming they have a DP to stay home with the kids).

HipHopOpotomus · 20/04/2011 07:40

Well as long as you are prepAred for your friends with kids not to attend I guess yanbu to do whatever you want. You would be u to get huffy with those who don't have childcare

DoingTheBestICan · 20/04/2011 07:46

What's a baby shower? Is it just a silly term for meeting up with friends for tea & cake?

HowToLookGoodGlaikit · 20/04/2011 07:48

and expecting getting lots of presents.

BecauseImWoeufIt · 20/04/2011 07:54

Or, book a nanny or two to look after all the children while you all enjoy the event. Personally I don't think YABU to want it to be child-free, but it's not always convenient (or enjoyable) for others to have to leave their children at home.

DoingTheBestICan · 20/04/2011 07:56

So do you expect get baby presents or presents for yourself?

jojowest · 20/04/2011 07:58

who will babysit the kids that cant come?

hairfullofsnakes · 20/04/2011 08:01

Yanbu - sounds lovely! Can I come?!

colditz · 20/04/2011 08:04

Have it at 7.30 pm, and tell people they may bring a bottle. They will NOT bring their 3 year olds!

colditz · 20/04/2011 08:05

jojowest - not the Op's problem.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 20/04/2011 08:05

Tea and cakes suggests afternoon, so what exactly do you expect people to do with their children? Have it in the evening if you're so fussed. And I thought you'd get grief for having a baby shower too, i thought the only acceptable ones are those organised by friends not by the mtb herself.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 20/04/2011 08:07

It will be her problem when half the guests don't turn up!

tryingtoleave · 20/04/2011 08:07

I don't think I've ever been to a baby shower for a second. It's nice that you are doing it.

But, I was recently invited to an afternoon tea, where no partners or dcs were invited. Maybe it was just because none of the guests knew each other well but it was terribly dull, and I thought it would have been enlivened by some toddlers running around ( never thought I would say that... Maybe it was just a very dull bunch of people)...

savoycabbage · 20/04/2011 08:08

YABU if it during the day.

HeadfirstForHalos · 20/04/2011 08:09

Yes have it in the evening! My friend has had baby showers for the last 2 dc, and they were in the evening, and nobody was bothered about not being able to bring their dc.

The best one was the choccy party where we all had to bring some chocolate, and their was choc fondue with strawberries too, mmmm..

NestaFiesta · 20/04/2011 08:13

Are you arranging the baby shower yourself OP? If so YABU, it's like telling people to bring you presents. If not, it's up to you really.

When my SIL had a baby shower arranged for her, it was a lovely garden party at home. I left the kids with DH as it was a Saturday afternoon but some with smaller babies brought them along and they in no way inhibited the party.

I think it's nice to have a baby or two at a cleberation of all things baby.

defineme · 20/04/2011 08:15

Really bizarre concept.
I suppose I might have gone to the pub/cinema/out for meal before second child and said this is the last time I'll be out for a while, but a baby shower? Other than immediate family, second babies don't usually warrant lots of gifts-most people bring round a cake or a babygro after the baby is born-or is that just my world?
Have you been watching a lot of American reality tv? Where have you got this idea from?
As for kids free-do it in the evening or expect less guests.
Is it not just a teensy bit rude, and really not very British, to organise an event to receive baby stuff when you've already got it and you know what having a baby entails...

lazylula · 20/04/2011 08:16

YABU if it is during the day, especially if it is also during the week as people will find it hard to get a sitter at that time. Having said that, YABU to have a baby shower tbh, especially with baby no 2. If it is an evening thing, then I would have thought people would be happy for a couple of childfree hours.

tryingtoleave · 20/04/2011 08:22

Not just you, defineme. But I found it quite sad that people didn't bring anything for dc2 - hardly bothered to visit or anything. I always make a point of getting something nice for a second or later baby.