Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be fuming at someone phoning ss on me

432 replies

AuntiePickleBottom · 18/04/2011 20:58

i have no idea whom has, i think i am a good mum.

the social worker was lovely, and i am glad they did come even if this was a malicious phone call.

but i am so paroniod that someone is watching me now, i can belive someone would phone the ss on me

OP posts:
RabidRabbit · 18/04/2011 21:00

What where the reasons? Surely they'd need them before SS would investigate.

SequinsAndSparkles · 18/04/2011 21:01

what had they told SS you had done? Sad you poor thing, can't believe people can be so malicious.

sephrenia · 18/04/2011 21:01

I've been there, I know how you feel. It's a complete bitch no matter how you look at it, but better that they investigate everyone rather than miss someone who really needs help. That's what I kept telling myself when they turned up on my doorstep anyway Hmm.

Original poster
AuntiePickleBottom · 18/04/2011 21:01

i have no idea, the social worker said she was following up on a complaint

OP posts:
TeddyMcardle · 18/04/2011 21:02

That is unforgivable in my book, I couldn't get past that if I ever found out someone had done that to me.
I hope this is over for you soon. It is a malicious thing to do unwarranted, don't let them hurt you further by looking over your shoulder from now on. You said it yourself: you are a good mum.

bubblecoral · 18/04/2011 21:03

A complaint about what? Is there any truth in it, even if it is a misunderstanding? Without that information, it is impossible to tell if yabu or not.

angrymomma · 18/04/2011 21:03

I have been 'threatened' by a neighbour re them phoning the Social Services. It makes you feel like a really crap parent, and completely paranoid about your every movement.
It knocks your confidence knowing that someone actually thinks you are such a bad parent to your DCs.
Keep your chin up and don't let the buggers get to you, which is ultimately what they want.
Have you had any run ins with neighbours, friends lately?

jojowest · 18/04/2011 21:04

maybe someone was genuinely concerned

id rather a mum was upset and huffy than her feelings were spared and a child went on being abused

Original poster
AuntiePickleBottom · 18/04/2011 21:05

i didn't mind social services coming, a bit of a pita at the time as we where all out the garden in our swim stuff playing in the pool so i had to get both kids out to answer the door.

i just feel like while they was with me, there could be some family out there who really needs there help

OP posts:
IntergalacticHussy · 18/04/2011 21:05

isn't there a way she can find out who made the complaint and what it was about? FOI act or something? surely she has a right to know. It scares me to think malicious people can just make these unfounded allegations with no accountability or recourse.

Spero · 18/04/2011 21:06

It depends entirely on why they were called. If you said 'I'm fuming because someone has complained about me getting pissed and not feeding my child' then I wouldn't be very sympathetic.

But if someone is just making trouble, then they are a pathetic sad waste of space and don't give them head room. Just get on with being a good mum.

worraliberty · 18/04/2011 21:09

I'm almost sure you have a right to know what the nature of the complaint was OP.

I've read of lots of people on here and on other forums saying they were investigated by SS, but I've never read anyone saying they weren't told why?

Original poster
AuntiePickleBottom · 18/04/2011 21:09

i do not know what the reason the social services was involved, due to confidently.

she said she contacted the school and HV and they had no concerns ( i regulary go to the HV as she chases up my son appoinments for me)

OP posts:
Spero · 18/04/2011 21:12

they don't have to tell you who complained but they have ruddy well got to tell you what the issue is!

angrymomma · 18/04/2011 21:14

Think it's basically same as if someone informs on you to the Benefit Department. They can't tell you who made the complaint.
Surely you have some idea, I mean who do you think it might be?
Have you had any major fall outs with anyone lately?

Original poster
AuntiePickleBottom · 18/04/2011 21:18

no fall out with anyone and i don't really speak to my neighbours, i know i 'shout' at my kids so it maybe one of the neighbours.

i am deaf in one ear so i generally talk quite loud so i can hear myself iygwim, hopefully one of the neighbours just got the wrong end of the stick.

OP posts:
RumourOfAHurricane · 18/04/2011 21:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

scottishmummy · 18/04/2011 21:20

sw wont reveal complainant,but you can ask for basis of complaint and their subsequent findings

PlopPlopPing · 18/04/2011 21:21

I wonder what it was about?!

RumourOfAHurricane · 18/04/2011 21:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Honeybee79 · 18/04/2011 21:23

Surely you have the right to know what the complaint was about?

Original poster
AuntiePickleBottom · 18/04/2011 21:24

using false names.

but normal things, like max eat your dinner.. ben don't climb on the sofa you'll hurt yourself (things like that)

i never swear at them

OP posts:
Original poster
AuntiePickleBottom · 18/04/2011 21:26

the SW said when she come to the house (after showing her id) we are following up a complaint regarding the wellbeing of your children

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 18/04/2011 21:26

sw wont reveal source,will discuss general jist with you.can ask outcome of the visit and discuss any finding/recommendations

angrymomma · 18/04/2011 21:26

Did they not give you ANY reason at all for the complaint?
What did they actually say, eg, we are told you are hitting your DCs?
They must have told you something, surely?