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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be fuming at someone phoning ss on me

432 replies

AuntiePickleBottom · 18/04/2011 20:58

i have no idea whom has, i think i am a good mum.

the social worker was lovely, and i am glad they did come even if this was a malicious phone call.

but i am so paroniod that someone is watching me now, i can belive someone would phone the ss on me

OP posts:
Spero · 18/04/2011 21:30

'wellbeing' is pretty vague. They need to tell you WHAT aspect of well being is the subject of concern and what, if any concens they have after the visit.

lilyliz · 18/04/2011 21:30

my niece had a nieghbour report her for shouting at her kids,they are a right handful and to be honest I would throttle them.The SS were quite happy though and no futher action was taken,now she has been reported to RSPCA for not feeding the dog which is also nonsense and she does not have a clue who is doing this.:(

CheekyVIN0Time · 18/04/2011 21:33

I would be fuming too if SS turned up on my door. Im a good mum and a fall out recently with a friend has made me paranoid cos she said to a mutual friend that she was thinking of going to social services about me, apparently because i smoke, that means i must smoke around my children. :( Must be awful for you :(

Original poster
AuntiePickleBottom · 18/04/2011 21:33

just asked alot of questions, like have i ever left the children home alone, do i have any problems dealing with bad behaviour, have i ever felt like hurting my dc, asked where my dc sleep, do they have contact with the father ( he lives her) hows my relationship with my dp, have df ever hit the children.

she had a look around my home, checked in the food cupboards.

so perhaps someone reported me for neglect

OP posts:
MissBetsyTrotwood · 18/04/2011 21:33

As scottishmummy says, the general jist should be given (a BF of mine is a sw) but surely, less 'general' and more specific than 'the wellbeing of your children'.

Pumpster · 18/04/2011 21:34

Bollocks did they not tell you some reason!
I had a visit due to someone phoning up about my ex and they gave me a list of what had been said, they also write to me outlining the discussion and the fact that they were satisfied that the allegations were unfounded. How could you answer to a complaint without being told what it was?

onehotmomma · 18/04/2011 21:34

Someone reported my DH to SS recently. My daughter (4.8) was throwing a strop in the car ouside the school and kept on kicking DH's arm whilst trying to drive and he kept on pushing her leg away. According to who ever rang them he smacked her several times. Maybe it looked like he was smacking her? it really upset me and DH and I've never been so scared in all my life even though we had done nothing wrong :(

We were called in the school and each interviewed seperately. Luckily my 9 yr old witnessed what happened and the case was dropped. She was satisfied nothing was going on. She told me the reason why she was called but not by who.

I feel for you op I know how upsetting and scary it is :(

worraliberty · 18/04/2011 21:35

If their Father lives with you, why did they not want to speak to him too?

Original poster
AuntiePickleBottom · 18/04/2011 21:38

he was in work, they are coming back to talk to him, perhaps that the reason they didn't tell me what the complaint was

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 18/04/2011 21:45

so specifically ask is this about
nutrition
mental welfare
physical welfare
school
health/medical

you can also request to be told visit outcome.some details (eg complainant) will be withheld but you most certainly can ask recommendations and outcome

nulliusxinxverbax · 18/04/2011 21:48

Sounds to me like they might be suspicious of your partner, from what you have said.
I have family who are in SS. They do have to tell you why they are there (dont let them be sneaky and get out of this, dont let them be vague, sometimes they dont want to say as revealing exact complaint will identify complainant, but still have to tell you).
They dont have to tell you who complained though, and no FOI wont get you that info either whoever said that.
This is why it is so easy for a spat with a neighbour to turn into a visit from SS. lots of sad morons use it as a weapon.

onehotmomma · 18/04/2011 21:48

possibly op, I now when we got called in the school I went straight in to meet the sw and dh went to the playground to pick the kids up and they wouldn't let them out but for him to walk through the school to the community room with the HT and dc's. Probably so he couldn't 'talk' to them? which is a good thing imo. maybe it's just so you and your DH can't discuss things prior to there next visit

Original poster
AuntiePickleBottom · 18/04/2011 21:50

once the ss comes back i will update you all, when she comes i will be asking her to ask the exact reason why they came.

OP posts:
Rhinestone · 18/04/2011 21:51

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

justventingreally · 18/04/2011 21:53

Wtf rhinestone?

BlooferLady · 18/04/2011 21:57

Dear me Rhinestone, you must be terrifically clever: well done you Hmm

Sorry about all this OP. Wishing you all the best. Hard to remember SS have their duties and are honour bound to investigate.

Rhinestone · 18/04/2011 22:00

Probably about average Bloofer.

Birdsgottafly · 18/04/2011 22:02

They should be sending you a final report, it may contain details of the complaint, this varies between LA's. It normally states the nature of the concern, their findings and what is happening next. If you do not recieve anything from them you can request a written closing report.

Spero · 18/04/2011 22:05

Can't see much wrong with grammar, not sure why Rhinestone wants to make that comment. If it makes her happy, that's super.

Original poster
AuntiePickleBottom · 18/04/2011 22:06

well i'm off to bed, but thanks for your time in responding to this thread.

OP posts:
geraldinetheluckygoat · 18/04/2011 22:09

How awful for you, OP, It can't be anything that serious, if they are leaving it for now and visiting again later. I would guess she was fairly satisfied that there was no cause for immediate concern after her visit today.

Rhinestone, what an idiotic post. Well done for kicking someone completely unnecessarily when they are down.

MissBetsyTrotwood · 18/04/2011 22:15

Oh fgs Rhinestone, how unkind. And unnecessary.

OP, what a frightening, disturbing experience. You sound so calm - good luck with the ensuing visits.

CheerfulYank · 18/04/2011 22:19

Good luck! They should definitely tell you exactly they are investigating you for, otherwise how are you supposed to change things if need be?

Jog on Rhinestone .

scottishmummy · 18/04/2011 22:25

op,you can ask sw basis for visit,copy of final report and any recommendations

ScarlettWalking · 18/04/2011 22:27

Best of luck op, so sorry this is happening to you.