We've learnt a very valuable lesson about the idea of labour separation from both sets of parents. I've also seen what happens in a significant number of relationships via friends and the Mumsnet Relationships forum (indeed, examples on this very thread) to know that in 90% of cases it ends up being an horrifically bad decision, usually mostly for the woman.
Parent set 1 (mine): Mum was a SAHM for 30 years, gave up her semi-professional job to have kids. Dad involved in workplace-related (but not direct) accident at age of 52, basically no income from him ever again. Overnight they went from being a financially secure married, traditional-setup couple to one where my mum had to re-enter the workforce in a minimum wage job which barely even covers the mortgage, on a home they thought they'd be in for life. I won't even begin to describe the amount of terror this situation has brought up for my mum, because she's looking at a retirement in poverty - no national insurance contributions to her name, no pension in her name. Despite being a very good mum (assessed by traditional criteria) and SAHP, this decision, to place the WHOLE financial security on my dad's wellbeing, has cost them both dearly.
Parent set 2 (DH's parents): Again, SAHM who has literally never worked (his brother was born 9 months after marriage at age 18). His dad in a professional job, owned his own company. His mum brought up DH and siblings well, but theirs was an even more traditional setup than my own parents - when his mum had to go into hospital for routine surgery for a week when the three kids were small, his dad was so out of touch with caring for them, that he had to offload them onto a complete stranger (female neighbour) because he didn't know how to look after his own children (despite taking the week off work and DH's mum packing the freezer with a week's meals, etc). DH's mum is basically unhappy but was totally unable to leave the relationship - as she (apparently) told DH, what would she ever do without DH's dad?
Those two cases alone have taught me that to tie my own financial future in with DH's health, wealth, and happiness is a bad idea.
Just as it would be to tie it in with mine. You basically count on ill health, accident, illness, relationship breakdown, redundancy, etc never happening to you.
And that's why no DH or DW should ever, ever be able to "control" what their partner does or does not do outside the home.
Consultation, negotiation, team work = good. Control = bad.
If the OP's DH wants his job and responsibilites taken into account when she takes a job, this is fine. But he also needs to offer the same amount of respect back.
And that means more than just incoming wages. It means sharing emergency childcare if someone is ill, taking the emotional responsbility for booking dental appointments - whatever. It's so much more than "what does their role contribute in terms of £s to the house.
If the DH "doesn't want to cut down on work or go part time" then what he wants needs to tie in with what has been decided for both of the adults in the household. There is more than 1 person's "wants" here, and neither party should have the imbalance of power in their favour to dictate to the other.
And that's the way no healthy, long lasting relationship should be.