Going out of my mind-So scared of flying that going to miss booked holiday on Tuesday

[kangers]

Don't think I can even go to airport. Three DC and DH will be devastated. I am so mad with myself. Have tried diazepam and sedatives, but not cutting it. Not sure about source of fear but I just can't face it- whole thing- check in, boarding, taking off, being up there and trapped in that little seat. Kids will take piss which makes me worse. Youngest will be saying 'what is keeping us up' as he has not flown recently. Just in turmoil. Going with friends too so making me even worse. Any PLEASE???

I think I've said this before (under a different name) but flying is something that a lot of us seem to fear and much of the fear seems to develop after having children.

I really think a webchat with a fear of flying expert on here would be great. I wonder if MN Towers could persuade somebody from Virgin for example to come along and talk us through some of our fears

Kangers, you can do this believe me. Cards on the table here - I can probably run you a close second for fear of flying I absolutely hate it above all things, so much so that my second son has never been on a plane.

Can you identify which part of the flight you hate? For me it is take off, I hold DH's hand so hard that it is a wonder that we don't have to find a hospital at the other end to reset his knuckles! After that I can just about cope, though I don't move from my seat!!

Would sitting by yourself help at all? So that you can concentrate on yourself and not have to answer DC's wonderful questions!! How about an ipod to cut out the rest of the stuff going on about you?

Good luck, but you can do this believe me, you can get on the plane and have a lovely holiday with your family and friends.

Anybody who thinks she is being selfish or stupid please think again. This is a real and genuine fear.

hi, i completely understand how you feel. I first flew in 1995 and it terrified me, so much so that for the next few years we went to spain by coach. About 30 hours of so of hell!

Then in 2007 we went to crete and i was so scared i could'nt speak to anyone. The following year i read a book that explains everything about flying and it really helped. I also take diazepam before a flight which does relax me. We've been to turkey the last 2 years and its not been too bad. Last year we had a lot of turbulence but a quick word with a member of the cabin crew and i felt better, like some other posters i also watch the cabin crew closely to see how they react to turbulence.

I do hope you can manage to go on holiday.

Kangers I don't know if it will help you but I went to a therapist for my fear of heights and she gave me the most amazing tip, I put one of dd's hair bands round my wrist and whenever I started to panic I had to stretch it and let it SNAP back (ouch!) and say NO out loud. The combination of the SNAP and the short snappy pain really did jolt me out of it for a few seconds, enough for me to really try to focus on something else.

I still do it if I know I have to go somewhere high, I just say the 'NO' to myself so I don't look like too much of a loon

You have drugs, you have a fabulous holiday to look forward to, and you have the whole of MN willing you on. You can do it!

Thank you all :( really lost it now. Think I peaked too soon. Not sue how to tell the friends and kids. My niece is with me and says (jokingky) that I am selfish as I can let the kids and DH go, but not go myself. She's right!! Really annoying but there we are.
So near and yet so far.

Oh come on, don't be silly.
You know you're more scared of the fear itself than something bad happening.
Therefore just deal with your fear, take the meds, have a drink, surely you'll be ok for 2 hrs?
The plane will NOT crash.
Stop panicking and feeding the fear and think about how you'll be letting your family down. Also you'll have lovely time there.

Your niece is right- you know the plane will not crash, therefore you're fine with your dh and dcs flying. You're just panicking. Medicate yourself heavily, even to the point of almost passing out, and you'll be fine.

thanks winnybella

Nothing will happen-you know that.
Turbulence is NOT dangerous-it just isn't. The plane will NOT fall to the ground even during severe turbulence (which it is extremely unlikely you'll ever encounter).
The feeling of claustrophobia etc- if take enough drugs, surely that will knock you out for the duration?

Oh, and btw, by severe I mean when luggage and people are flying around the cabin.

The one where coke in your glass splashes around is not classed as severe. It is of no consequence whatsoever to the safety of the flight.

please try to find the courage to go!

it won't be the same for you're dc and dh if you don't go. Why don't you look online at the airport you're flying from and see all the flights that are landing safely. I've done that and found that it really puts things in perspective.

I really hope you can manage to go.

Ok Kaylasmum- I will try that.

Hi I hope you are starting to feel less worried. I have just remembered something from my fear of flying course which helped me a lot. Imagine the air as water, the air supports the plane from all sides just like a boat on the water. Sometimes due to the airflow crossing it gets bumpy just like a boat does when currents cross over. The plane cannot just fall out of the sky just like a boat does not sink for no reason.

We spent a lot of time learning about planes and how heavily tested they are. Honestly they are so safe! Have a wonderful holiday :-)

Download the paul mckenna fear of flying on your ipod right now and play it with your eyes shut and your earphones £15 or so. Beta blockers if you have them. Alcohol. You are getting on that flight because you will be fine. Keep saying to yourself I am safe, I am not at risk.

You know deep down your fear is irrational don't you? I've never had a phobia so not an expert like so many other posters.
But, if I'm in a situation which I don't think I can face I just think, "what's the worse that can happen".
For you, it is the plane will crash. And that is as likely as you winning the lottery this week.
You have a choice. I'm sure your family will be fine without you, and have a wonderful time. Though they will miss you, kids are fickle and will be to busy enjoying the sun, the beach, the pool and meeting other kids
You, on the other hand, will be sitting at home thinking of them every minute, and kicking yourself for the sake of a 1 hour flight.
You have the medication, you know deep down you can do it.
Try not to overthink it, just concentrate on that holiday, that flight is just a miniscule part of it
Good luck

I hate flying, it terrifies me but I do it in order to see the world, although my prefered flight is edinburgh to Dublin as it only takes 45mins :-)

I find lots of deep breathing really helps, I dont drink so that is not an option. Might seem strange but I prefer to sit at the window so I can see where we are/whats going on although i know others who prefer the aisle seat.

make cabin staff aware of your fear, they are trained to help you and will sit with you and explain what is happening if you are feeling scared.

They will also keep checking on you as they dont want you to freak out during the flight!!

Take the trip in small steps, i.e through check in/security etc taking lots of deep breaths.

Hope you enjoy your holiday, it will be worth it in the end.

YOu say you drive, you have more chance statistically of dying in a car crash than a plane crash.

Your fears are unfounded but I understand them.

Be realistic you have more chance of being knocked over by a car/bus than you do of having an accident in a plane.

hey OP, didn;t read the whole thread as it brings back to many memories.

Please make sure that you go. My family and I were all booked to go on holiday for my mum's birthday, everyone all excited. I have always been scared of flying (not really sure why) 2 weeks before I couldn't stop thinking about it and would have panic attacks and be sick. In the end I didn't go. everyone was very disapointed, couldn't look at my mum without crying. Five years later still feel like a fool and very guilty. You will regret it if you don't go I do.

how you feeling now kangers?

I really hope you find the courage to get on the plane tomorrow.

in the book about fear of flying that i read there was an explanation about turbulence, the author compared it to driving along a bumpy road. For some reason looking at it like that really helps.

you can do it!

Thanks all- am going to try and do it- waiting for taxi. Keep getting waves of fear but may feel better when I have watched a few planes take off. You have no idea how much you have all helped me. I have taken betablockers but not really working- major butterflies and lurches. Have valium but not flying till 1:30pm so not taking them yet. Will have some alcohol at the airport. Trying to defeat this and be brave! Doing it for the kids mainly. May get a train back!!!

You'll be fine. Have a lovely holiday!!

kangers - well done, you're being very brave.

Now go to that airport and have a lovely holiday. You will have a great time!
x

2 valium and a LARGE glass of wine helped me on a flight to Dubai. Took the tablets 20 mins before boarding, had wine on plane and slept for the whole flight! You can do it, Have a fantastic time :)

Further to my previous post about being a nervous flyer,i have been thinking its not the flying i dont like ,its the fear of crashing !my fear starts as soon as the plane gets on runway ready for takeoff but as soon as we are up i am fine providing i look at the crew.I am so brave now i actually get out of my seat to go to the loo which at one time i would not have done.Even on a five hour flight i just would not move.You try keeping your legs crossed for all that time