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Original poster

Going out of my mind-So scared of flying that going to miss booked holiday on Tuesday

177 replies

kangers · 17/04/2011 21:48

Don't think I can even go to airport. Three DC and DH will be devastated. I am so mad with myself. Have tried diazepam and sedatives, but not cutting it. Not sure about source of fear but I just can't face it- whole thing- check in, boarding, taking off, being up there and trapped in that little seat. Kids will take piss which makes me worse. Youngest will be saying 'what is keeping us up' as he has not flown recently. Just in turmoil. Going with friends too so making me even worse. Any PLEASE???

OP posts:
MilaMae · 17/04/2011 22:18

I think I had Diazapham when I went to the US and it worked. Whatever it was I took some before going to the airport then some on the flight.

Original poster
kangers · 17/04/2011 22:18

Milamae- thanks for reassurance re Gadaffi. And thanks to all. I know I will have to do it- your are all right it is far too late to cancel and let everyone down. I will sedate and drink. xx And think about the pilot wanting to live.

OP posts:
Rassy · 17/04/2011 22:18

Kangers I know exactly how you feel. Can you get to a bookshop tomorrow? There are some excellent books about fear of flying which have really helped me and there is a fear of flying website (just google it). I had to fly last week, just Edinburgh to Bristol but again the fear is crippling. I am determined it won't ruin my life and like you have had to use sedatives but luckily they just calm me down. I am off to Spain in October but am looking into hynotherapy. Re the comment about security I thought last week it was tougher!

Also, I remember hearing the psychologist Pamela Stephenson on a chat show last year and one of the other guests mentioned that they had a fear of flying and she said it was one of the easiest phobias to cure. Unfortunately the chat show host then changed the topic!

gastonscave · 17/04/2011 22:21

I always take my beta blocker after security and it works fine. I also find I fly better on my own, could you board on your own and sit away from the kids this way you can focus on you and not get stressed out with the dc

Bogeyface · 17/04/2011 22:22

As someone who will only go to France on holiday (even if we won the lottery) because we can drive there, thereby avoiding both flying and ferries (not good with them either!) I wholely sympathise.

I am a logical person and I know the science and I know the stats that we are far more likely to die in a car crash than a plane crash, in fact the way home from our last holiday we almost did. That was thanks to another british family driving the wrong side of the road and not even swerving when they saw us Hmm But........I am considering a short flight from East Mids to CDG in Paris next year to go to Parc Asterix (which kicks Disneys ASS btw!) and that will be with the aid of drugs! My theory is that my love of Asterix will outweigh my fear, so fingers crossed!

Original poster
kangers · 17/04/2011 22:23

Thanks musicposy re DH being a bag checker- very reassuring. I will check out the website Rassy. You are all calming me down.

OP posts:
highhopes2010 · 17/04/2011 22:23

yes i have diazepan with the brandy-take the pills 30mins before boarding.had the betablockers for 3 days(to get in my system)before i flew and they were crap.everything has different effects on everyone though so you have to try and find what suits you.once i only needed the diazepan but the next time they didnt work and thats when i had a drink with them!have a good hol hun-remember you dont want dcs having the same fear as you so just do your best.im sure you will be fine.

Rassy · 17/04/2011 22:25

I also buy a load of trashy mags to read and try and absorb myself in the trials of celebrity life! Grin

Also Bach Rescue Remedy is great as well.

MilaMae · 17/04/2011 22:26

Print the thread off and take it,cut and paste a certain person's posts obviously Smile

MilaMae · 17/04/2011 22:27

Bach's is fab,you can get it in a spray now,second the trashy mags,get enough for the return trip.

Bairyheaver · 17/04/2011 22:29

I used to have a desperate fear of flying (Started after I had the dc), but I have been so much better since doing the virgin flying without fear course. It was amazing.

Obviously it's a bit late for this trip, but I would definitely recommend it. For this trip ask your GP to prescribe you some beta blockers, and go and have a lovely holiday.

nikki1978 · 17/04/2011 22:30

Lots of good advice. The terrorist thing is nothing to worry about. Plane crashes are very very rare and usually on old planes used in places like Russia which is completely different to something new like ryanair. I have the same problem as you and did the virgin fear of flying course. Make sure you do one before your next holiday. You will be fine :-) Just have a few drinks and keep smiling for your kids. Have a lovely holiday!

Einsteinnolonger · 17/04/2011 22:31

Portoeufino

You too.

Rassy · 17/04/2011 22:31

I wish this thread had been happening this time last week (I was a crying mess Sad) as it is so reassuring! I will definitely be printing it out.

alistron1 · 17/04/2011 22:32

Kangers, my DP (when he was 16) had a flight with turbulence and was shit scared of flying. The first time we flew as a family I looked after the kids and he looked after himself. It was tough for him but he did it!! And a year later he did a mammoth flight from bham to new orleans - he loves flying now!!

My sister was a nervous flyer, but she has used a heady comb. of diazapam and gin to get her through long haul flights.

Flying is scary, of course it is. But it is safe. I've flown through terror alerts etc and all was well.

You will fly and have a great time.

Ignore any idiots, get sedatives and drink gin.

Einsteinnolonger · 17/04/2011 22:34

kangers

Please accept my sincere apologies. I should have realised when you asked whether or not you were being reasonable, I should have just told you what you wanted to hear, and not given you my honest opinion. If i'd known that by being honest with you rather than following like sheep, I would have been reported, then, I would have course told you what you wanted to hear.

Original poster
kangers · 17/04/2011 22:34

thanks all. Will try and enjoy.

OP posts:
zisforzebra · 17/04/2011 22:35

You can also get Bach in little pastilles which might be easier on a plane too. Smile

giggly · 17/04/2011 22:37

I did not fly for 6 years after developing a flying phobia and then when I did I was out my face on betablockers and drinkConfused

I trained in EMDR through work and had my phobia treated as a result. Since then I have not thought twice about flying, even going to Oz with 2 dc.

Please please consider this treatment which is very similar to EFT that Kitty mentioned. I promise you will not look back.

This says the women who once shouted at the top of her voice to the whole cabin " stop stop I need to get of" whilst in the midst of a panic attackBlush oh the shame.

alistron1 · 17/04/2011 22:45

Giggly, my mum once shouted (on approach to newark) 'He's going to miss the runway, we'll all die!!'

And my DS1 on a flight shouted 'The wings are falling off' (they were just adjusting as we were coming in to land!!)

Ladyhaha · 17/04/2011 22:52

I'm also scared of flying and have tried sedatives and alcohol, neither of which helped much. I went to see a hypnotherapist before a long haul flight a few years back and it really works. She gave me breathing and visualisation techniques to help me cope and I listen to a cd she gave me a couple of times before I fly. If you can get hold of a hypnotherapist, or even a cd, tomorrow then give it go. Good luck

Original poster
kangers · 17/04/2011 22:53

I once got up at Thessalonika airport while we refuelled and asked to get off. Feeling much calmer at moment. DH volunteering to be in charge of passports etc. Thinking about it in a very practical way- but know I can go back to panic mode anytime.
I know know know its safe, but still wory. As one friend said- if something happens at least we will all be together.
But it won't.

OP posts:
alistron1 · 17/04/2011 23:01

Kangers, knowledge is power. When you board scope out the exits and pay close attention to the safety info. In the highly unlikely event of something going wrong knowing that stuff increases your chances of surviving by zillions of percent.

I do that when I fly and feel all smug that in the event of a problem I am statistically more likely to survive!!!

Flying is so so so so so safe. You will be totally fine. It's safer than going on the motorway.

Drugs + Gin will get you through.

LadyWord · 17/04/2011 23:04

Kangers I feel for you so much - I hate flying and have a need to be in control. I've tried beta blockers and valium but they didn't work for me because I felt less in control.

However this book helps me a lot and I go through it every time before I fly. It really helps you understand flying and how safe it is, and all the options the crew have if there is any kind of problem. It's great, very calm and sensible.

I would also recommend a drink, but not getting pie-eyed - just the slightly relaxing effect of one or two drinks. And I always get the trashiest, most escapist book/magazine I can. Your DH needs to be delegated to deal with the kids and arrange a reward for them if they can refrain from winding you up.

Good luck, you can do it.

BecauseImWoeufIt · 17/04/2011 23:16

Einstein - you just can't leave it can you? You are truly, truly horrible.

Please just leave the OP alone and stop with the passive aggression.

Find someone else to target with your bile.