Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To really really not get 'naming ceremonies'

118 replies

Gemsy83 · 17/04/2011 09:12

I mean- why???

OP posts:
nethunsreject · 17/04/2011 09:14

yabu.

it is a celebration of the new baby and a secular version of baptism. perfectly nice thing to have!

moominmarvellous · 17/04/2011 09:34

I wasn't sure what they were until i attended one and it was lovely. I was raised Catholic so it was always christenings we attended , but TBH it actually made more sense to me than a Christening in the way that they put the message across. There was none of the flannel. They said a few words about how they intended to raise their son and their hopes for his future, the reasons they chose their guardians.

I thought it was just a more modern, less religious version of a Christening. I really liked it. The one i attended made me really reconsider how i would raise my own family. In the end I did have my DD christened, and will soon Christen my son, because In the end i my mum told me ineeded the religious aspect......ahhhh catholic guilt!!!

TrillianAstra · 17/04/2011 09:41

It's so you can have a big family party for a new baby without actually doing a Christening. I thought that was pretty obvious.

What is it that you "don't get"?

dontcallmepeanut · 17/04/2011 09:43

The non-christian version of a christening... What's not to get. We're not all Christians, yet having a ceremony to welcome the baby is a lovely idea.

BlueCat2010 · 17/04/2011 09:44

Do you not 'get' registery office weddings either? Hmm

It's a way of welcoming your child into your family without being hippocritical!

breathing · 17/04/2011 09:45

For me, the christening wasnt about naming my kids. It was about bringing them into the faith. No party involved. Just a lunch afterwards. They were named at birth. So i can see why some find naming ceremonies odd.

TidyDancer · 17/04/2011 09:47

It's a party for a new baby. I don't see them as carrying the same meaning as Christenings do, but it's nice to welcome a baby isn't it?

Original poster
Gemsy83 · 17/04/2011 09:49

A wedding is nothing alike- its a legally binding ceremony, a naming ceremony just seems like an excuse for a party/attention.

OP posts:
breathing · 17/04/2011 09:51

A party is nice Grin but im not sure why there has to be a ceremony to "name" the child, who is probably already named on the register. So once again I kind of see what OP is saying, although why not I suppose.

TidyDancer · 17/04/2011 09:51

Yes, breathing, I think calling it a naming ceremony was perhaps a mistake.

breathing · 17/04/2011 09:52

shower is taken

Original poster
Gemsy83 · 17/04/2011 09:52

Exactly breathing- a christening (for religious people anyway) has a function- introducing a child to a faith, a naming ceremony has none really. Yes people can do what they like and its their child etc but I still don't see why a child 'needs' one- it seems to be more about the parents.

OP posts:
breathing · 17/04/2011 09:52

Welcoming ceremony? Grin

oranges · 17/04/2011 09:53

what's wrong with an excuse for party/attention?

Shoesytwoesy · 17/04/2011 09:53

presents

moomiemoo · 17/04/2011 09:53

It's about welcoming a baby/young child into the community of family and friends who surround the parents. Just like a christening is about welcoming them into a faith and church community.

And it's an excuse for a party (just like christenings/baptisms).

breathing · 17/04/2011 09:55

We didnt need a party for people to bring gifts for my boys. I was so amazed at the kindness. People just coming out of the woodwork, as it were, to visit and give gifts. So so kind.

PinotGrigioBlush · 17/04/2011 09:57

What shoesy said.

dontcallmepeanut · 17/04/2011 10:01

Well, aren't you lucky, breathing Hmm

Darling nephew got bombarded with gifts for being christened. DS didn't, due to the lack of christening... I'm an atheist. As far as I see, a naming ceremony is a non-religious ceremony. Basically, it's not about "naming" the child, it's about stating your hopes for the child.

If I'd known about it when DS was younger, I'd have considered it.

chocolatecoveredrationalist · 17/04/2011 10:01

Gemsy83 "Exactly breathing- a christening (for religious people anyway) has a function- introducing a child to a faith, a naming ceremony has none really. "

I disagree, 90% of the christenings I have been to have been about the party, held by non church goers. I much prefer the honesty of a non religious ceremony.

Having said that I would have loved to have a welcome party for my girls to celebrate their arrival in our lives but just a party seemed a little contrived, I wish now that I had just gone for it. We did make a huge deal of their first birthdays which filled the gap a little I feel.

breathing · 17/04/2011 10:02

I was lucky yes. People were kind particularly as I had my kids in a country far from home. I guess that kindness stuck with me as I was so alone.

ChoChoSan · 17/04/2011 10:03

I don't think it is quite as simple as an excuse for a party. Although I am an atheist, I think that secular society benefits from having a few 'rituals' such as naming ceremonies, to acknowledge important events.

A 'naming ceremony' is probably less about giving the name, but more about the opportunity for the important people in the baby's life to come together to acknowledge the baby's life, congratulate the parents and stop for a moment to reflect together on the parents' hopes and dreams for the child. This probably goes even for those who say they just like an excuse for a party!

Having said that, I haven't arranged one for our ten week old baby, but wonder if I am doing her a disservice, as she won't have anything such as photos, cards etc to look back on. However, I am thinking of keeping a little notebook to add my thoughts to ever year on her birthday, and maybe ask others to contribute to, then she can have it when she's 30 or when I die or something!

Birdsgottafly · 17/04/2011 10:04

Its not so much an excuse for a party as possibly a reason to have a gathering. Not everyones family and friends live near by so a event is needed to get everyone together. It gives those in the family who would normally have a Christening a similar event.

Other countries and cultures have had 'naming ceremonies' (as well of course christenings), it is just a modern day take on this. It could be said that christenings, weddings and other such happenings have not always been about the people involved but about the church keeping a hold over what is going on or a family keeping 'respect' by doing exactly the same as their neighbours.

Celebrations and customs have always changed over time, so why would you not get it?

Insert1x50p · 17/04/2011 10:04

I agree- if people want to have a party to celebrate having a child, they should just have one. Don't make me sit through the pointless naming ceremony first.

LadyOfTheManor · 17/04/2011 10:08

Well having a baby christened IS NOT Biblical and doesn't mean a single thing to God (Bible says; "Believe and be baptised" a baby obviously cannot choose to believe). We are practising Christians and we had our son "dedicated". More of a prayer service to ensure we raise him according to God's law. This is different to a Christening....and not all about parties and attention.