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AIBU?

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Original poster

To really really not get 'naming ceremonies'

118 replies

Gemsy83 · 17/04/2011 09:12

I mean- why???

OP posts:
dontcallmepeanut · 17/04/2011 10:50

Nor do naming ceremonies... That was a mis-wording on breathing's case, I think. Stop being so jumped up

LadyOfTheManor · 17/04/2011 10:51

LOTM

An infant baptism isn't about parties and attention either . Christian faith is not about observing the Bible word for word, it's also about tradition. Christian faith is not only about the Bible, without tradition there would be no Bible.

If you don't believe in infant baptism LOTM why bother having your DC "dedicated"? This is the happy clappy churches' excuse for party and attention

Well. If you read my post the dedication was more about prayer during the normal Sunday service, and the prayer was for my dh and I. There was no party. Yes Christianity is about tradition, however the Bible specifically speaks about baptism-all the tradition in the world isn't going to change that. But if you believe it makes erm faith stronger then do it, I guess. I'm just pointing out it isn't Biblical.

dontcallmepeanut · 17/04/2011 10:52

*"I really cannot for the life of me grasp why someone needs a 'ceremony' to welcome a child into the world- dont people relevent to the child do that automatically?"

But people doing it individually is not the same as the family doing it en masse. You usually only get the whole family, on both sides, together at events like this.*
Well said.

breathing · 17/04/2011 10:54

People relevant to the child may not do it automatically. I dont know where the OP's family live but mine are scattered across the globe so our "event" was a gathering that was organised.

BrandyAlexander · 17/04/2011 10:54

Not sure what the big fuss is. AFAIC, we had a baptism and then a huge party afterwards for 3 reasons. First to welcome dd into our church family. Second, to welcome dd into our extended family, being our relatives and friends. The two were equally as important as each other, so even if we weren't religious I can understand why people who are not religious would want to do the welcoming anyway. If any of my friends wanted to do this and put a non-religious ritual around it, I would happily turn up and enjoy the day with them. Dont think there is anything to "get".

MarianneM · 17/04/2011 10:54

breathing

It was the way you said: "for us christenings were nothing to do with naming", as if they generally have something to do with naming, which they don't! Popular misconception.

breathing · 17/04/2011 10:57

I know they dont. Being a catholic, you can imagine how many christenings/baptisms Ive been to Grin. One of my friends alone has had 8 kids so far.

FlamingJamie · 17/04/2011 11:00

What's wrong with having a party to welcome a child to the world? IME, having a baby is the most amazing things that will happen to many of us as individuals lovely, happy thing. You sound a bit joyless, OP.

breatheslowly · 17/04/2011 11:02

We are thinking about having a naming ceremony for DD. The reason I would like to do it is that I would like her to have guide parents, mentors or whatever you want to call them. DH was christened and has godparents. I wasn't christened but have someone equivalent to a godparent who means a lot to me. I would like to have someone like that for DD and have friends who would be perfect for it. I don't know what we would call the ceremony, but it won't be about naming DD, more about appointing these people to take a special part in her life and welcoming her into the family. It would be a small party - immediate family plus these people. And no presents would be expected. TBH you don't need birthday parties, but people have them. This is pretty much the same - something to celebrate, so have a bit of a party.

brass · 17/04/2011 11:04

I'm an athiest and I do find it hypocritical. These ceremonies are centred around religion and to have one when you're not religious is a bit twee imo.

My opinion could have been swayed of course by all the naming ceremonies I've had to sit through y a w n.

Have a party by all means but forget the schmaltz and the 'alternative' god parents.

SolarPanel · 17/04/2011 11:07

Agree that Christenings are nothing to do with naming. The child already has a name, although their name is mentioned at the time of baptism. Also, Christenings are not necessarily a "ceremony", they're a procedure that takes place, supported by family and friends. Of course, there may well be a celebratory party afterwards :)

NotJustKangaskhan · 17/04/2011 11:16

Naming ceremonies are part of a lot of cultures. In Judaism, boys are named at their bris and girls are named at the shul at the next reading after the birth. Hinduism also has ceremonies and rituals for naming. Secular and Humanist naming ceremonies are just another version of rituals to welcome babies into society and as a society that's lost almost all of its rituals, it can be very comforting and fun to have a formal occasion to mark the baby's arrival.

2littlegreenmonkeys · 17/04/2011 11:19

We had naming ceremonies for the DD's. When people asked what we wanted as a present we said nothing just for them to celebrate, with us, welcoming our DD's into our families/communities etc. Yes it was a fab reason to have a party, as is a christening, NO it was not a reason to get presents from family and friends or about showing off.

Both DH and myself and our respective families and all of our friends enjoyed both of the DD's naming ceremonies.

Just because DH and I are not at all religious why should our DD's not have a big get together to welcome our the, in to the community and into our families.

Incidentally both DH & I have a lot of family and friends who live away or abroad and they were not able to get home to see the DD's when they were first born (as the family and friends who lived local could and did) so DH and I spoke to all of the people who were not local to find a date suitable for them to be able to attend. It was fab to see so many family and friends that we would only usually see very occasionally. Also we did not expect them to attend at all, they wanted to.

MarianneM · 17/04/2011 11:22

LOTM

Nowhere in the Bible does it say that one cannot be baptised as a child, and Act 16.33 could be taken to imply child baptism.

But in any case you are missing my point. Most Christians do not isolate the Bible from the tradition and teachings of the Church in the way that you do. The Bible only exists because of the Church. It is a group of writings accepted by the Church as authoritative. Why accept the authority of the Church to determine what is and is not scripture, but reject the authority of the Church to permit infant baptism?

breatheslowly · 17/04/2011 11:27

brass what is the problem with alternative god parents?

LadyOfTheManor · 17/04/2011 11:31

Marianne the Bible says, believe and be baptised. Unless you believe a child of several weeks/months old has the mind to choose Christianity then I will stand corrected.

MarianneM · 17/04/2011 11:36

LOTM and do you always observe the Bible literally?

And you missed the point about not isolating the Bible from the tradition and teachings of the Church.

LadyOfTheManor · 17/04/2011 11:37

I think certain parts of the Bible should be observed literally yes.

Why, does your church advocate murder?

Original poster
Gemsy83 · 17/04/2011 11:38

Umm okay so if you dont agree with having a ceremony just because you are 'joyless'? Wow my poor child.

OP posts:
InPraiseOfBacchus · 17/04/2011 11:40

A party is a lovely idea, but calling it a 'naming ceremony' or doing a little self-invented 'ritual' in front of people is cringey and self-indulgent.

MarianneM · 17/04/2011 11:41

LOTM I don't think this is really a discussion but you ignoring what I said and instead rattling on your fundamentalist views.

PeachyAndTheArghoNauts · 17/04/2011 11:42

My Church advocates taking the message of love and tolerance above all else.

So no murder but no judging others either.

We were banned from attending Church becaase the Vicar coudln;t handle ds1's physical stims. One we have now woudl have thrown out the complainants before the autistic child but hey, there you go. She woudlnt baptise me as an adult either becuase myc aring responsibilities meant I could rarely attend actual services.

Me, I much prefer a tolerant model of the faith.

dontcallmepeanut · 17/04/2011 11:45

In that argument, Bacchus, is the concept of baptism/christening a child "cringey" and "self-indulgent"?

MrsHerculePoirot · 17/04/2011 11:46

OP - do you think people have wedding ceremonies are 'showy' then? Surely that is a similar thing? Your family should just be happy for you, why do people need a ceremony and party to celebrate it?

MarianneM · 17/04/2011 11:47

Peachy is of course right.