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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To really really not get 'naming ceremonies'

118 replies

Gemsy83 · 17/04/2011 09:12

I mean- why???

OP posts:
lunar1 · 17/04/2011 19:14

My husband is Hindu, so we had a party to celebrate our son starting solid food at 6 months which was held at our house. It was a great reason for a get together of family and friends. If neither of us was religious I would have had a naming ceremony to celebrate our new family. The Annaprashan was relaxed and informal and DS was mostly given traditional gifts that he would have been given if we lived in India. My English family and friends had obviously done some serious googling (or phoned DH's family). DH's family also had a huge party at the same time and watched the whole thing via a webcam!

ReshapeWhileDamp · 17/04/2011 19:22

DH doesn't 'get' naming ceremonies either. I wasn't allowed to have them for DSs because 'my mother wouldn't understand' - apparently she'd take it as a direct affront and a farago because we are bringing 'em up godless. Hmm

I'd have liked to do it, but not ardently enough to make a big fuss over DH's attitude (or give MIL something to simmer over for decades). So. Sad

ReshapeWhileDamp · 17/04/2011 19:24

Lunar1 - what's the Hindu significance of a ceremony when the baby starts eating solid food? Have never heard that before! Smile

FlamingJamie · 17/04/2011 19:26

Some people like ceremony more than others. Some people like parties more than others. Would it be ore acceptable if it was called a "birth celebration" ?

hellzapoppin · 17/04/2011 19:58

I had my DC christened purely to give something to my parents and grandparents. They are religious and were quietly desperate for the ceremonies to take place.

They were pleasant enough occasions, though without significant meaning to me, but worth it to see the happiness my family took from the events.

All I asked was that we didn't hijack a sunday service - so we went when the churches were empty.

The babies received the usual array of traditional but useless knick knacks - silver birth certificate holder anyone? - and I laid on a nice tea.

I have no idea if the godparents had themselves been Baptised/Christened - didn't ask.

A humanist welcoming ceremony in the garden appealed more, but I figured I owed my parents something after denying them one of the other biggies - a wedding. Smile

girliefriend · 17/04/2011 20:05

I had a naming ceremony for my dd as I wanted to celebrate her birth and welcome her into the world, family and community.

It was a lovely occasion, very informal. I 'named' some guide parents that I hope will continue to guide, love and support my dd throughout her childhood.

I am not religious and a christening would not have felt right.

YABU.

lunar1 · 17/04/2011 20:10

Reshape, erm... cant quite remember! I'll have to ask DH again when he gets back from work in the morning. I do remember my brother being terrified though, he was terrified of DS till he was able to play with him and the tradition is that the mums brother gives the first food.

DeepPurple · 17/04/2011 20:17

I had a naming day for DD. We didn't have a full ceremony we just said some words about her, why we called her that, the meaning of her name, the mentors and what we hoped they could bring to her life (positive qualities), that we would support any religion she chooses when she is older etc etc.

Then everyone ate the food I provided, drank, socialised and the kids played games I had organised. It was a lovely day.

DD did get loads of presents. That wasn't my reason for doing it. The amount I spent on food, room hire, dress etc would probably be more than the presents.

I don't believe any religion so couldn't be a hypocrite and have a christening.

YABU OP.

fatlazymummy · 17/04/2011 20:37

I didn't have a naming ceremony or a baptism for any of my children. I don't think I ever heard of such a thing as a naming ceremony until very recently.
It's not something that would interest me, even if I was having another child.
Each to their own though.

woollyideas · 17/04/2011 21:03

I had a naming ceremony for my DD. She was born in another country and my friends hadn't 'met' her, so having a naming ceremony during one of my visits home was a way of getting all my friends together to introduce them to her.

I'm not remotely religious but wanted DD to have 'godparent' equivalents (close friends) so a humanist ceremony seemed ideal. It was brief, meaningful and memorable.

kerala · 17/04/2011 21:04

Welcome party to celebrate new baby for us atheists. Good excuse to get extended family together to see the baby and have a meet up as weddings few and far between these days. FFamily only so no sneering naysayers like the OP, in the garden, read poems, drank champagne and ate cake, had a chat whats not to like Grin .

SpringchickenGoldBrass · 17/04/2011 21:10

I didn;t actually have one for DS as I was too skint for a party at the time.
But then I don't 'get' why people believe in gods in the first place.

idlingabout · 18/04/2011 14:35

Well, if you have had a premature baby which spent the first 7 weeks of its life in special care then you might just want to do something to celebrate that your child has survived and if you are an atheist then , stangely, you might not want to do this in a church.

VajazzHands · 18/04/2011 14:42

YANBU its just another way of making your kid the centre of everyone else's bloody universe as well as ruinging a perfectly good weekend for all of your friends

I can just about accept Christenings as I know people (some people) really find them important to their religion... Although its clear some people just like the party and gifts.

*athiest btw with a 3 month old who has not had a naming ceremony.

onlylivinggirl · 18/04/2011 15:00

I wanted something to welcome DS to his family and wider community. I wanted to get my family, DP's family and our friends together for the first time.I wanted to say thank you to everyone for all their support and also to celebrate DS.

The easy option would have been a christening but I couldn't bring myself to be so hypocritical- I even went to my local church to listen to the service and when they started speaking about original sin I knew it wasn't for me.

Pootles2010 · 20/04/2011 16:24

Well aren't you just the perfect ray of sunshine vajazz - amazed any of your weekend are ruined tbh Hmm

cory · 20/04/2011 16:31

As a member of a large extended family who live some distance from each other, I like getting the opportunity to welcome new members into the family and meet distant cousins and aunts that I would not otherwise find conveniently gathered in one room: travelling round to meet them individually would come expensive. And it gets a bit depressing when you only meet up at funerals.

Pootles2010 · 20/04/2011 16:36

Couldn't agree more cory - surely these events are when you all meet up - as my dad would say 'hatches, matches and dispatches'

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