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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Unreasonable DH. Divorce on the cards.

164 replies

marmaladetwatkins · 13/04/2011 19:47

I have been craving spaghetti hoops on toast all day. DH rang me on his way home from soft-play to say he was calling in to Aldi to get some loo roll and then to the Co-Op to get some fruit/bread. Was there anything I wanted, he asked? I said yes please, a big tin of spaghetti hoops.

When he gets back, it seems that apparently he didn't telepathically know that I wanted Heinz hoops and not Aldi's own brand hoops. I am most annoyed. Aldi hoops have watery sauce and the hoops are soggy. This is Not Good Enough.

Looking past the fact that he has looked after DS all day and then taken it upon himself to go and get essential supplies, he is being very unreasonable isn't he? I can't be expected to live like this.

OP posts:
QuickLookBusy · 14/04/2011 10:31

Marmalade do not blame yourself-don't you see, that is what he has been planning all along. He wants you to think it's your fault, he wants you to leave with DS, then he can sit on his arse, watching the football eating his prescious beans from the tin.

Anyway, will really have to leave this thread now, am very busy today.
have 2 tree surgeons in the garden, they have their equipement out already and I may need to go and offer my services

QuickLookBusy · 14/04/2011 10:34

Sorry "precious." Can't put my mind to anything this morning for some reason.

Original poster
marmaladetwatkins · 14/04/2011 10:36

Am now imagining QuickLookBusy as Eva Longoria's character in Desperate Housewives...

OP posts:
FellatioNels0n · 14/04/2011 11:13

Joyless fanatic? Shock i'll agree I did used to be abit militant about food but I've had a recent epiphany involving supernoodles salad cream and such like.

I'll have you know my children and husband are almost exclusively fed on a diet of sundry processed and ready made crap this last year, since I decided to give up housewifery and righteousness in a fit of pique about how dull and demoralising it all was. I have a pantry full of jars of ethnic pastes and spices and pulses and arborio rice and other such nonsense. They are just for show, obviously. I don't actually cook any of it any more.

My DH congratulated me on a delicious dinner last night, which consisted of M&S Duck a l'orange, Aldi goose fat roast potatoes and garlicky buttered green beans. I topped and tailed and steamed the fresh beans myself and added the garlic and knob of butter MYSELF. I deserve a medal frankly. I'm taking to this eating crap lark like a duck to water.

(still can't stand tinned spaghetti though. It tastes oddly metallic.)

FellatioNels0n · 14/04/2011 11:13

Anyway, back to your marriage Marmalade. It's in a sorry state I agree.

Squitten · 14/04/2011 11:13

Marmalade Have you checked the loo roll?! '

That was where my friend discovered the truth. She was wiping with Tesco recycled while the OW was luxuriating in Andrex double-quilted Shea butter for her perfumed derriere!

My friend still can't sit down properly you know....

Original poster
marmaladetwatkins · 14/04/2011 12:22

Well, I did send DH to Sainsbury's a few weeks ago on a quest for loo roll.

A few years back, out of my love for him, I agreed to stop buying Andrex and to buy own-brand shit-strip. However, I drew the line at the Basics roll.

What did he come back with? Sainsbury's Basics Bog Roll. £1.89 for six jumbo rolls. It was surprisingly soft and the rolls were so huge that they lasted us 5 weeks.

However, that's not the point. I never buy BBR (basics bog roll) and he went against my wished and betrayed me. Another example.

OP posts:
NunTheWiser · 14/04/2011 12:23

Marmalade, don't even start blaming yourself. Did you buy the own brand hoops? No, he did. He needs to man up and take responsibility for he damage he is doing to your marriage.
BTW, with regards to the tins in cupboard, are you sure you bought this devil's brew of lables or do you think he could be gaslighting you?

Squitten · 14/04/2011 12:28

I knew you were going to say that. When he stops caring about your bum there really is no way back...

Original poster
marmaladetwatkins · 14/04/2011 12:36

I really don't remember buying the own-brand tins. But if he has been gaslighting me he has done a fantastic job because there are some things that I think are asseptable to buy own-brand such as chickpeas/kidney beans/chopped toms but some not asseptable such as HOOPS/tinned fruit. But he has mixed up the acceptable/unacceptable realms so that I am stood there questioning myself "DId I buy the own brand peaches because they had run out of Del Monte" So now I am questioning myself even though I KNOW my standards have never slipped in the nine years I've lived away from parents.

Or do I KNOW? I am so tired with all this.

OP posts:
BibiBlocksberg · 14/04/2011 12:45

You all need to order a copy of 'Why does he buy that' in support of the awful abuse being suffered (sorry, forget the author) Grin

Original poster
marmaladetwatkins · 14/04/2011 12:53

I know that as a child, MIL bought most of their food from Bejam. I'm not making excuses for him but that's GOT to have some effect on him?

OP posts:
JeffTracy · 14/04/2011 12:57

I feel I need to bring some blokey common sense to this thread. I think I can see what is going on here. This poor man is only behaving irrationally in Aldi because he is not getting enough rumpy-pumpy at home (sorry if I am offending any of you ladies with my language btw). OP you need to put down that tomato-pasta-covered spoon and put on some attractive nightwear and er do the you-know-what. I find turning something off and turning it on again fixes most things.

nickelbaalamb · 14/04/2011 12:57

thanks.
I never should have opened this thread.

Now I want Heinz Spaghetti Hoops.
:(

Original poster
marmaladetwatkins · 14/04/2011 12:59

Typical fucking bloke response.

It's times like this that I feel I should become a feminist.

OP posts:
Megatron · 14/04/2011 13:02

I am so sorry you're going through this OP. Sometimes it's hard to accept when you are faced with this kind of relationship breakdown, it's like you've never known the man at all isn't it. I can imagine the Aldi spaghetti hoops was just the final blow.

The present DH blotted his copy book only last week by bringing home an orange chocolate cream when he had been given explicit instructions to return home with mint. It's been a difficult time but I'm hoping we can work things through and I hope you can too with your idiot husband.

goodegg · 14/04/2011 13:11

Jeff the last thing OP needs is a MRA coming on to the thread with his ridiculous sense of entitlement. She clearly is not valued in the relationship - if he took the time to buy her thoughtful, quality hoops then perhaps she would be in the mood for 'rumpy-pumpy'. There's no bigger turn-off than substandard hoops fgs.

MotherMucca · 14/04/2011 13:15

At least you have a DH.

I would give anything to have Mr Mucca back here, confusing me and tripping me up with own brand/premium brand shennanigans, I really would.

How very insensitive of you.

thumbwitch · 14/04/2011 13:18

oh no, someone has decided to defend the "menz" right to buy whatever crap he chooses because his dick isn't getting enough of a workout!
marmalade - don't listen to Jeff
Agree with goodegg - quality tinned goods are the only road to a good shag.

JeffTracy · 14/04/2011 13:28

Really thumbwitch? Shock

Original poster
marmaladetwatkins · 14/04/2011 13:28

MotherMucca Sorry about your loss. I can send MrTwatkins round if you like?

goodegg knows the score. substandard hoops = spare room offence.

OP posts:
nickelbaalamb · 14/04/2011 13:57

Marmalade - if it helps, I have been in the situation that you want to be in.

The sauce was too runny. :(

However, My "D"H didn't buy them for me, because the git has the cheek to be at work! Shock

So my assistant bookseller got them for me.
and I burnt the toast.

FellatioNels0n · 14/04/2011 14:11

Were they 'Cling' peaches Marmalade? Del monte or not, they simply must be cling peaches.

Does anyone actually know WTF a cling peach is? Confused

And does anyone still have them for tea on a Sunday with evap? You must have them with evap. Tis the 1970s law.

ShirleyKnot · 14/04/2011 14:13

I can't believe this thread. Hmm

I've done an Advance Search on the so-called marmaladetwatkins and last week she was saying that she doesn't even like spaghetti HOOPS and is allergic to tabasco.

Sorry to all of you lovely people who have given good advice, but this is a TROLL.

Original poster
marmaladetwatkins · 14/04/2011 14:16

I don't know what a cling peach is. But they probably weren't cling peaches so that's another mark on his card Hmm

OP posts: