To think it will all kick off on here after this is aired?

[MsScarlett]

My mum just texted me to say that tomorrow there is a documentary on BBC3 at 9pm called, "Is Breast Best?".

I predict a bunfight!

I agree with you hairfullof you do it in the right way. I agree that there is not enough support out there, I did not have any clue of support groups, the Midwife did not provide, and I did not have a computer and internet at the time. Since then I have joined MN got so much useful info and contacts and advice and know more than I did so much better prepared for nextime I hope. I was shocked on the teens attitudes to bf on the programme though, but i put it down to their age and inexperience of life.

I would just like to point out that breastfeeding is not always a difficult, gritty experience or "an assault course" for the ten weeks or however long, please don't spread this myth. It may be for some, it may be. But not for all!

I didn't experience any of the problems associated with BFing: no pain; no exhaustion; no mastitis; no cracked nipples; no latch problems; my DD only woke up once a night to feed until she slept through from 5 months; I went everywhere with her and fed her in all sorts of places (cafes, restaurants, parks, at ILs', church, Chelsea Town Hall) with no problems. It wasn't time-consuming, it wasn't difficult, it was enjoyable and I am not a hairy lentil weaver still feeding a teenager: DD1 self-weaned at 10 months. And I lost all the baby weight within 6 weeks while eating pasta and chocolate. And drinking an occasional glass of wine. It can be easy, it can good!

Leatherchair - did you get pressure to stop? You poor lady going through all that x

hair I had immense pressure to not even start. I was vilified whilst in hospital for trying to give DS colostrum by family. I had just had a crash EMCS after 24 hours of labour, and so I just felt so vulnerable and unable to put up a fight. DH was misinformed about BF by his family, and did not support me either.

As you can imagine the strain this has had on our marriage has been immense. However, he now sees how wrong he was, and I know how much he regrets his actions.

Everyday I am angry with myself for not being stronger, not preparing good arguments for BF. I suppose thats why I gave myself such a hard time re-lactating, some sort of punishment possibly?

sausages - please go to the other AIBU thread and correct something incorrect you have said about me.....I am not pleased at the misrepresentation and hope you have simply made a mistake. Thanks.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1193291-Bf-nazis-lies-distortions-and-the-disinhibiting-effect-of-the-internet

I think you need to get some professional help quite urgently, xstitch. The chances of your daughter being harmed by you not breastfeeding are *nil". The chances of her being harmed by her mother not getting help for serious mental illness- and punishing yourself for not breastfeeding 6 years ago by cutting yourself with a knife almost certainly indicates that this is what you are going through- are far, far higher. I am truly sorry you have had such a very rough time. You owe it to yourself and your daughter and your unborn baby to get some treatment.

xstitch is there a way you can sit down on your own and tell yourself all the wonderful things you HAVE done, the beautiful DC that you have created and nurtured, all the wonderful things you have done well, and maybe try to move away from the horrible things the idiot X is saying and doing, and remind yourself how wonderful you are

Leather - I was in a similar position - but with dh's family. It was hell, I was vulnerable and I had to wrestle my ds off milk to try and feed him whilst she was perparing formula and sticking it in his mouth. I had to try and express at odd hours and stick in the fridge. My milk dried up basically and I just gave up the ghost and bottle fed. TO my horror the day after mil left I went out and ended up with milk all down my front - I coudbn't believe it that my milk was starting up again but it would have taken a long time to again establish it.

I'm bitter but I moved on - there are so many lovely parts to lo's growing up and ds was perfectly healthy on formula. I just feel cheated personally - but that's my issue.

I don't see difference in ds;s health - it made a horrible difference to me as I knew he'd be my only child. I actually gave him some formula in hospital as my milk took ages to kick in and he was tiny and it was hot on the ward so I insisted on some formula for him.

"I didn't experience any of the problems associated with BFing: no pain; no exhaustion; no mastitis; no cracked nipples; no latch problems; my DD only woke up once a night to feed until she slept through from 5 months; I went everywhere with her and fed her in all sorts of places (cafes, restaurants, parks, at ILs', church, Chelsea Town Hall) with no problems. It wasn't time-consuming, it wasn't difficult, it was enjoyable and I am not a hairy lentil weaver still feeding a teenager: DD1 self-weaned at 10 months. And I lost all the baby weight within 6 weeks while eating pasta and chocolate. And drinking an occasional glass of wine. It can be easy, it can good!"

And it can be tricky - in my case I had something like 30H breasts that sagged and I could not feed ds in public - I could literally only feed him at home in bed and on my side for his own safety. I found it hard to get mat bras in my size on the net (I had cs and was pretty much housebound after for a while)) - I had two expressing kits and they both broke etc. Not easy for everyone and don't think you are failing because it doesn't come easy to you. My ds was crap at feeding and so was I. I was busy, getting shit for mil, not eating and drinking very well etc so I don't suppose my milk was top notch either.

It's easy for some and not for others.

My advice is do what YOU want inspite of advice and inspite of pressures from anyone either way.

Oh god. They featured the support group woman from Pinner wood..who met me when I gave birth. Convinced me that my baby will probably be diabetic and a weak child if i gave him formula. His sugar was low, my milk had not come, he was getting formula. She made me howl, i cried floods and floods of tears. Landed up with poor latch and could not feed baby directly. Then sat and expressed exclusively fed him Breast milk for 6 months. Now have carpal tunnel syndrome and back problems thanks to pumps of various kinds. I wish I had not let the guilt get to me and just gone to formula route!! I hate the quantity of guilt one can be bombarded with the min you get pregnant..its started with swine flu vaccine - yes, no? and continues.
Anything that is right for mum is right for baby, formula or BM. What makes mamma happy will be prefect for baby.
cherry's live chat was Heavily moderated!! would not air my opinions :(

Where is greenmonkies these days? Leonie, do you mind me asking if you are her? Just relaised I havent seen her for aaaages.

Ok, thanks Leonie Just wondered because she had two DDs as well and just occurred to me I haven't seen her for a looooong tiem.

xstitch - don't mean to be nosey, and don't answer if you don't want to, but why on earth would one ever have to justify have a CS or FFing in court?! Sorry if you've already said. Sounds fecking awful to me.

Xh his took me to court to try for custody and prevent me seeing dd. They were cited by his lawyer as proof that I did not love dd and I quote was not a 'proper mother'. They slagged me off about a lot of things mostly the truth twisted but occasionally complete falsehoods. Thesw 2 hurt the most apart from perhaps 'the worst mother the history of all mothers' which involved a break as I broke down at this point The most humiliating few weeks of my life so far. :(

so for you xstitch how is the situation now? What a disgusting invidual

@ xstitch - Fuck me. How the hell is that relevant? Never mind drinking or taking drugs, dare to have a c-section or bottle feed and you are a bad mother? Most awful thing i have ever heard, as I know how much (completely unjustified) guilt comes with having a CS...

I had PND and have had depression on other occasions and I really think you might be depressed. It is hard to see that when you're in it. I thought I would spot the signs of PND as I had had depression before but I didn't. I remember thinking "I am not depressed, I am just an awful, selfish person who is not cut out for motherhood because I am too weak and selfish and how could I ever have deluded myself that I would be able to do it, I am not even a proper mother as I had a CS, my dd hates me etc etc", and I REALLY believed that at the time. I don't feel like that now though and I know now that it is not true and my thoughts were distorted.

It doesn't make your feelings any less real, but I really think you need to talk it through with someone.

I went to a baby group and met a counsellor who was trained specifically to talk about negative feelings about birth experiences. I spoke to her about how I felt in the past and it helped me move on. If you PM me, perhaps I could call her and find out if there is anyone similar working in your area? x

LOvely girls Leonie My DD1 is the same age as your DD2

I mentioned bonding earlier and seem to have caused a stir...what I meant (and said) was you can ff at arm's length, or by propping a bottle without even picking a baby up, and it makes me sad when I see it.
I'm not sure everyone bonds with their baby in the womb and the baby certainly doesn't bond with their mother in the womb!
BUT I did go through hell bfing dd for the first 3 months, (then it went smoothly til I chose to stop at a year.) I can totally see how difficulties/failure breastfeeding could actually have a negative effect on bonding.

Just popping by to point out the delicious irony of this thread having kicked off before the programme aired- one it was shown, peace and harmony broke out

It's lovely!

You can't assume that that's what all ff mothers do halfcaff. Just because they can doesn't necessarily mean they do. I can honestly say dd was always held and cuddled while being fed. It does make me feel uncomfortable to see babies alone with a bottle but ime experience these parents are in the minority.

Sorry scarlett I didn't answer you. They had to get me on something didn't they? I generally don't drink max about 3 units a year, just doesn't interest me drinking. I have never smoked or done drugs, don't have criminal record etc so They had to complain about something. Apparently I am also uneducated, can't cook anything, don't know anything about children's medicines, am a tart, incapable of cleaning

The judge must surely have laughed them out of the courtroom, xstitch. You should be grateful to your ex-husband for employing such a drongo as a lawyer and being such an arse himself. I expect you won custody by default the moment the lawyer accused you of being "the worst mother in the history of all mothers". What over-dramatic idiocy! You must get some therapy to help you learn to eyeroll at this utter rubbish. As I'm sure the judge did as it sounds completely inadmissible as evidence and utterly irrelevant to custody issues. How ridiculous of your crappola husband's lawyer to think that he could help your husband win custody by spouting such crap. You must must must get some help so you can start to see what a prat he is and learn to manage your mental health and move forward.