IABU to think I shouldn't be told off by the police by daring to be a woman out alone after dark?

[MsScarlettInTheLibrary]

I was walking through a deserted cut-through at around 11pm, on my way home. I'd been shopping and to the gym, as evidenced by the bags I carried.

I happened across a pair of policemen on bikes, who saw fit to brake and tell me I 'should be careful walking by myself at this time of night'.

IABU to feel angry and offended by this?

AgentZigZag...I'm quite interested in feminism. I've been called a 'feminist' as if it were an insult previously. It seems to be quite a wide-ranging subject.

I don't think that LOTM is indicative of the way most feminists post and I suspect there were some of the more cognisant and rational wishing she'd pipe down as her posts were just rude rants towards other women and didn't do the cause any favours at all.

Dittany... I'm starting to wonder if anybody has power over criminals at all. The law seems so flawed in its ability to effectively deal with criminals and keep them away from law-abiding society.

I can see why a police officer would say 'Be careful', in a well-meaning way. I don't understand why they didn't just offer to take the OP home? I think they're generally concerned about lone women, rightly or wrongly, perhaps that is because they know that they cannot remove the criminals.

I mentioned the cuts in an earlier post and I think approx. 20,000 officers will be removed from the beat. That is bound to have implications. :(

But police can't stop all crime, and they don't have power over potential criminals. A person isn't a criminal before they do a crime (or at least until they are caught doing it) and police can't go around arresting everyone they see. And even if they did they wouldn't get everyone anyway.

Issuing warnings is not blaming the victim it is about keeping people safe, I think I am not alone in this but I would prefer to avoid something happening to me than for something to happen and the police to arrest the person responsible after.

Of course there will be things that happen that no amount of precaution taking will help you avoid but that doesn't mean you shouldn't apply common sense when you find yourself in a vulnerable situation.

Are there some police out there who blame victims, I am sure there are but they are individuals and every group of people will have dodgy individuals.

Maybe you're right LyingWitch and it's just the general ranting style I'm not keen on, perhaps I should have a look at the section, maybe it's not as bad as I think?

I deliberately didn't use the term 'feminist cause' dittany because everyone thinks about the subject on such different levels.

I support freedom and liberation for all women but I don't actively persue it to make changes, but that's not to say what I think about feminism is any less valid than someone who considers themselves a radical feminist.

Dittany... Maybe so but to swear and rail at other women is inexcusable. Feminism is a cause, long fought for by many, and some manage to speak eloquently, seeking to educate and others label themselves with the 'badge' yet stomp around, insulting all and sundry, and are completely unrecognisable. People are different, that's true.

On the police issue, perhaps they weren't doing women any favours by their actions but I would certainly think that they had the OP's interests at heart. Many of the police officers I know find themselves in positions of struggling to keep their feelings in check at what happens to people when they have sons, daughters, wives, sisters, etc. of similar age.

I personally don't think that they meant harm or reprimand to the OP.

Do we know that those police officers wouldn't say 'Be careful' to a man on his own or is the assumption just being made?

As I'm typing this, the Ikea advert is on and I can't help laughing to myself... I'm not a good feminist.

I didn't talk about a 'the feminist cause' dittany, lyingwitch used the term.

My last post was saying I didn't use it on purpose because I know it's not a group with uniform ideas.

'a 'the feminist cause''?? changed the sentence halfway through writing it

Dittany... There are worse things than swearing, I agree with that. There wasn't any swearing, shouting or abuse on this thread up to the point that LOTM joined it. I don't think it's acceptable AT ALL, that's my view. The thread that she started on the feminists board bears that out, actually. Aggressive and nasty... to other women. That's not feminism? Not in my book it isn't.

I don't know as much about feminism as you do, Dittany, I'm picking bits up here and there but in my opinion, when women verbally bashing other women for their views, trying to garner support for themselves on another board, against those women, something has gone wrong. How exactly is that different to men imposing themselves on women?

I know a bit about feminism but not in depth and I don't have a strong opinion on it in a relative way.

I don't want to discuss the disgusting way some women are treated with someone who is getting angry about it and at me for not having the same strength of feeling for the subject.

I totally agree with lyingwitches last post, whether it's a coherent group or idea is beside the point, if you disagree with something and want it to change, ranting and preaching isn't the way to change the way people think.

I'm not arguing for a 'hunny lol hugz' approach, but it's no good the enlightened preaching to the converted, the board should be drawing in people who don't know much about the subject but are interested in learning more.

But the content can be lost in the heat of the post dittany.

I like a good bunfight as much as the next poster, and I understand that sometimes you have to shout louder to get other people to listen, but I don't like people telling me my opion is wrong (not that anyone has on this thread).

They could say 2+2 = 5 is wrong because it's a fact, but what someone feels about something isn't as tangible.

I like reading and trying to understand a different POV with someone maybe picking up on why they think things aren't the way I see them, but reading stuff like LOTMs post saying 'Oh I've just posted it on the feminist board, just so I can be reassured that women are not all fucking blind and stupid' doesn't make me feel I'd like to say what I think.

Although it hasn't stopped me this time

I can have an opinion on what I think the feminist board should be, I'm not telling anyone specifically how they should be doing anything.

I'm not sure why you think I'm not entitled to think whatever I like about it.

Dittany... What I meant by the 'imposing' is that for years women have been oppressed by some men and by the society accepting of those men. Nothing to do with rape, more to do with the reasons, for example - why men are paid more than women. That was somebody's idea and I'd guess that it wasn't a woman's. I don't know if that's cleared it up?

I've seen a few of your posts and, from what you and other posters have said, I've changed my views - this was particularly from a rape post on relationships. It was a bit of a lightbulb moment. I don't recall you swearing at or putting anybody down though, just repeating your points.

I think that feminism means different things to different people, nobody owns the concept and, if a list of every feminist issue was drawn up, most people could pick half a dozen at least and say that those issues were important to them.

Agrees with AgentZigZag, it's interesting to read things from a different point of view but the earlier posts were well out of order.

I had a quick look at the feminists board just now, particularly a thread about somebody's homework and thought how relevant it was, I'd agree with every point. Other points are sometimes more difficult to understand and some that I understand, I don't necessarily agree with, but would probably be interested a discussion on it if I didn't get the feeling that I wouldn't be welcome there.

One thing that drives me potty about women as a sex and that is that there is nobody else more likely to run themselves down, run each other down, bitch and moan, benchmark themselves against and envy each other... on an infinite loop. Perhaps we'd stop it if we had complete equality?