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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not want my 4 year old to wear a school tie?

164 replies

lulu3376 · 09/04/2011 21:42

I am new to forums so hope I get this right!

I just wanted to get the general consensus of other mums out there. My 4 year old starts reception in September and a tie is part of the school uniform. I don't have a problem with ties but did not think they would expect reception kids to wear one - but they do!

I am even more surprised that they have to wear a proper tie not even a clip on or elasticated! I am not happy about this because I do not think its necessary at this age but even more so i don't think its very safe - ties can get tightened in rough and tumble and even more seriously, can get caught on climbing equipment.

That's my views/concerns - what does everyone else think???

OP posts:

gorionine · 12/04/2011 07:41

A tie for a 4yo is a bit silly but I am totally at poster who says her 2.5 yo had to wear one! who comes up with that kind of dress code for TODLERS?

OP YANBU

Bubbaluv · 12/04/2011 07:48

Seeker, if a tie in a masculine clothing item, them surely it breaks down gender barriers by insisting that girls wear them?

seeker · 12/04/2011 07:51

So would boys wearing skirts, but i can't see a school being able to insist tht they did!

harpsichordcarrier · 12/04/2011 07:51

if breaking down gender barriers is what we want, then why don't we put all the children in dresses or skirts?

Bubbaluv · 12/04/2011 07:52

Kilts at the school my boys will go to!

seeker · 12/04/2011 08:01

I am assuming that you're not being serious about girls wearing ties breaking down gender barriers, bubbaluv.

harpsichordcarrier · 12/04/2011 08:05

I agree with seeker's POV on here.
can I also go at the idea that you would CHOOSE or CHANGE a school because of the uniform??? seriously???? Where do you all LIVE? there really isn't that kind of choice for the majority of people. The choice of a school is made on a number of issues - proximity, availability of afterschool care, quality of education, where siblings/friends go (practicalities like lift sharing etc), where there are places. To suggest that uniform is a key factor is just flippant.
Choice is a red herring for many people ime. But that's not to say that because you have technically 'chosen' a school that you should just put up and shut up if you don't agree with something about the school.

exoticfruits · 12/04/2011 08:08

I grew up in a place where some of the boys always turned up to school parties in kilts. (not that it has anything to do with ties!)

Bubbaluv · 12/04/2011 08:29

Just don't think uniforms maintain gender stereotypes any more than the pink/blue divide that seems to divide children when they choose their own clothes. Or, in the case of older children, the cool guy/sex-kitten clothing that teenagers seem to choose for themselves.

seeker · 12/04/2011 08:42

I'm not saying that ties maintain stereoptyes. I'm saying that it is bizarre to put a girl in a piece of exclusively male clothing in order to get an education.

It's pretty bizarre to put a boy in a piece of clothing most adult men of my acquaintance can;t wait to haul off anc chuck in a corner at the end of the day anyway, but for a girl it's just wierd!

Bubbaluv · 12/04/2011 08:54

"I also think that school uniforms serve only to reinforce the patriarchal structures of our society and have no bearing on educational outcomes."

This was what I was really commenting on.

Hulababy · 12/04/2011 08:56

Only on MN do people seriously overthink things!

Hulababy · 12/04/2011 09:00

A 4 year old CAN be taught to tie a tie, just as they can be taught to tie a shoelace. DD learnt to tie a tie within the first half term of school - so by the time she was 4 and a half. There is no reason why most children can't manage it.

I wore a tie at school. My brother did. My sister did. All state primaries btw. oes were not removed for playtime back then. I have no knowledge of any school time accidents caused by ties.

My DD has a tie for her winter uniform and that is not removed for playtime. Again, no play time accidents or incidents caused by ties there either.

Now, if you don't personally don't like it - fine. Say so. But the reasons given are pretty much nonsense on the whole. They are not health and safety issues, they can learn to tie them, they don't make children all become the same, they don't stifle individuality, etc.

Bubbaluv · 12/04/2011 09:01

Goodness I hope so! Makes me wonder if everyone I see in RL is secretly judging the social implications of everything I do!

exoticfruits · 12/04/2011 09:24

Only on MN do people seriously overthink things!

I think this is the best quote ever! Can I borrow it for the future?

Hulababy · 12/04/2011 10:16

You are welcome :)

I have been on Mn for some 8 years now. It is only ever on here I see such things ridicoulsly over analysed. In rela life most peole are too busy getting on with their lives to worry about such trivial matters.

Niceguy2 · 12/04/2011 10:25

Only on MN do people seriously overthink things!

I think this is the best quote ever! Can I borrow it for the future?

Totally agree! Seriously. 6 pages (so far) on a fracking tie!

It's not like we see newspaper reports of 4 year olds strangled on a daily basis from a school tie! Jeez

What next? School expecting the kids to use metal knives and forks? I mean they could poke themselves in the eye!

walesblackbird · 12/04/2011 10:31

This is something that my children's school is trying to introduce for the start of next term. For all the children including those in the school nursery, ie for children of 3.

No-one is happy. In nursery and reception they're following the foundation stage when they get messy, they get wet, they get paint everywhere. Clothes should be informal enough to allow this to happen.

Mine are now slightly older and whilst I'm happy for them to wear ties/formal uniform on school trips etc I can't see that it's necessary for everyday school life.

Niceguy2 · 12/04/2011 10:42

How does a tie stop them from getting messy?

Silverstar2 · 12/04/2011 11:12

Ties can be washed, you know............

mrskbpw · 12/04/2011 11:35

My son's school doesn't have ties - the little ones just wear (uniform) polo shirts and jogging bottoms and they look very sweet.

Personally I'm very glad because I don't know how to tie a tie. Am I the only one?!

seeker · 12/04/2011 21:28

So nobody else thinks making girls wear ties is a bit wierd, then?

walesblackbird · 12/04/2011 21:35

A tie doesn't stop them from getting messy - they should be getting messy, that's the whole point. A tie is restricting - my dh has to wear one for work and he hates it. I think at 3 it's too young - yes, ties can be washed (but not the ones that our school currently uses) but they just get in the way of paint, water, sand .... and little hands tugging at them.

Plenty of time for wearing ties when they're older.

BeerTricksPotter · 12/04/2011 21:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Silverstar2 · 12/04/2011 21:53

My children wore ties from age four and it just wasn't restricting at all, they played, painted all those things. And as for girls wearing them - so what???

I do think people are over-thinking the whole tie thing. Really, by the second week or so it won't be an issue, just part of school life.

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