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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want my 4 year old to wear a school tie?

164 replies

lulu3376 · 09/04/2011 21:42

I am new to forums so hope I get this right!

I just wanted to get the general consensus of other mums out there. My 4 year old starts reception in September and a tie is part of the school uniform. I don't have a problem with ties but did not think they would expect reception kids to wear one - but they do!

I am even more surprised that they have to wear a proper tie not even a clip on or elasticated! I am not happy about this because I do not think its necessary at this age but even more so i don't think its very safe - ties can get tightened in rough and tumble and even more seriously, can get caught on climbing equipment.

That's my views/concerns - what does everyone else think???

OP posts:
piprabbit · 11/04/2011 01:04

I'm not sure that tying and wearing ties is a useful skill.
I wore a tie everyday for 6 years to my secondary school.
I haven't worn one since the day I moved into the non-uniform sixth form.

squidgy12 · 11/04/2011 01:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

blackeyeddog · 11/04/2011 01:27

YANBU. put the children in lovely run a bout clothes - nice polo nice sweat school badge =done. The treszt ties wotnots, too much trouble IMV.

sunnydelight · 11/04/2011 03:48

Don't choose a school where 4yos have to wear a tie then.

Silverstar2 · 11/04/2011 07:01

I still think it is a big fuss about, well nothing. There will be sooooo many other things that will really annoy you, save your energy! As others have said, there will be battles over homework, food, trips. parties...... what will you do then? Sometimes you just have to go with the flow.

Or chose another school. Your child will really stick out, and not for good reasons, if you send them without a tie - and beleive you me, teachers and headteachers remember these things, and you don't want to be seen as the 'awkward' one for the next 7 years or whatever at that school.

Please try not to worry - I am sure your child will be fine, tie or not. it is not a big deal.

AngelsOnHigh · 11/04/2011 07:24

I agree with sunnydelight.

Send him to a school that doesn't have a tie as part of the uniform.

Sorted. Grin

A mother at DC's school said the same thing to me about her DD. I said to her . I told her that if she didn't want DD to wear a tie, there is a perfectly good school up the road where they won't have to wear them.

AngelsOnHigh · 11/04/2011 07:26

That doesn't really make sense does it. Maybe take out the "I said to her" Grin

exoticfruits · 11/04/2011 07:59

When you are looking for a school I really would look at the important things-and whether they wear ties or not comes just about bottom of the list.

usualsuspect · 11/04/2011 08:05

I know plenty of parents that think the stricter the uniform the better the school

they are wrong

hissymissy · 11/04/2011 08:07

cornsilkily Sat 09-Apr-11 21:55:19
"Schools in the UK are obsessed with uniform. It's ridiculous" I agree, and I also agree with nooka. As a person who doesn't own a tumble dryer, it is a PITA to have to find ways to get stuff dry in time for school.

A tie on any child under the age of 10 is beyond ridiculous and snobby IMO. A tie on a girl at all is stupid. Uniform sucks and looks utterly awful.

wigglesrock · 11/04/2011 08:19

Think proper tie is safer than elasticated one, remember elastic ties being pulled and "pinged" a lot from my childhood Grin. In NI, where most primary schools have uniforms, but not tie based ones.

exoticfruits · 11/04/2011 08:22

I hate ties but thinking that parents 'go along with it because they think they have to, or because they are not bothered' is not correct. Plenty like it. OP will find out if she asks parents at the school rather than the internet.

altinkum · 11/04/2011 08:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bubbaluv · 11/04/2011 08:45

I love school uniforms and wore a tie from a young age (can't quite remember when exactly) but 4 does seem a bit much. Are they allowed to take them off for play-time?
I would certainly judge a school (at least partly) by the respect it's students show for it's uniform. Sloppy uniform and lack of enforcement of it's wear would score big negatives in my books.

Bubbaluv · 11/04/2011 08:47

Just don't completely untie it each day. Loosen it until it slips over his head - saves heaps of time in the morning. Someone's probably already said this but I don;t have time to read the whole thread I'm afraid.

MigratingCoconuts · 11/04/2011 10:08

I try to do that too Bubbaluv, and train dc to do that too!

It makes me laugh at end of school...you can always tell when reception/yr1 have had PE and tried to dress themsleves again....

lesley33 · 11/04/2011 10:32

I think children caqn be taught toi tie ties very young. And I really don't think they are a safety issue. I think it would be unsafe to climb trees in them or do WWF style wrestling - but presumably children in school wouldn't be doing that anyway.

TheSmallClanger · 11/04/2011 11:40

Ties for tinies are stupid, but I'm not sure you can do anything about it without making your child stand out in a bad way.

However schools in continental Europe and America manage without the wonders of uniforms, I do not know.

TooJung · 11/04/2011 12:50

Maybe this school is going to annoy you in many ways over the years. Treat this as a warning and go to another school.

Silverstar2 · 11/04/2011 13:21

Oh yes and my kids roll around the floor, climb things, run around........as they all do, all 206 children at the school, and they ALL wear ties, and no-one gets hurt.

Just my opinion of course, but I think a school of kids in jeans and t-shirts/hoodies would look awful/really scruffy . Since when did a school uniform become a big no-no? I don't understand and have honestly never heard it before. Would genuinley like to understand?!

pranma · 11/04/2011 14:33

You can elasticate the tie yourself by tying it firmly on your child then cuttinh through the back and sewing in a piece of elastic that will stretch to let your ds pull it over his head.PE changing time must be a nightmare in that school!

Bubbaluv · 12/04/2011 00:42

Someone said something earlier about uniforms intrenching gender roles, but I fail to see how allowing girls to get about dressed in pink frills and mini skirts would break down any barriers.
Lots of uniforms are probably the most gender neutral thing in a girl's wardrobe!

nooka · 12/04/2011 04:17

dd's friends very rarely wear skirts and I've never seen any frills (mini skirts are banned). They mostly wear jeans and t-shirts, as do the boys. In the summer they are inclined to wear shorter shorts than the boys. They look like a bunch of kids, some scruffy, some neat, all full of individuality.

In the UK at their primary school dd always wore a skirt and all the girls wore dresses in the summer. One or two wore trousers, but it was unusual. Most girls wear skirts at school, I can't think of any schools that have gender neutral uniforms.

In fact I think that kids here might spend rather less time thinking about clothes because they aren't shoehorned into uniform all week. They generally wear the same sort of clothes at the weekend as they do at school. dd went to a party the other day with a bunch of 14 year old girls and they were all wearing surprisingly sensible clothes I thought.

Bubbaluv · 12/04/2011 04:36

I don't have girls myself, but I've certainly noticed that (younger ones mainly I guess) seem to be permanently adorned in a sea of pink and sparkles.
I'm not saying many schools have uniforms that are actually gender neutral, but nor are they generally pink and sparkly.
We wore blackwatch tartan with a black tie in high school (urgh!) and yet girls were still trying to make it look sexy. I would happily bet that a lot of the sensible clothing girls leave home in is tweaked if not changed entirely by the time it reaches school.
I think you meet a teenage girl who was happy to dress in a gender neutral way.

seeker · 12/04/2011 07:35

nothing gender neutral about a tie!

And this thread isn't about uniform/no uniform - it'a about ties for 4 year olds!

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