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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want my 4 year old to wear a school tie?

164 replies

lulu3376 · 09/04/2011 21:42

I am new to forums so hope I get this right!

I just wanted to get the general consensus of other mums out there. My 4 year old starts reception in September and a tie is part of the school uniform. I don't have a problem with ties but did not think they would expect reception kids to wear one - but they do!

I am even more surprised that they have to wear a proper tie not even a clip on or elasticated! I am not happy about this because I do not think its necessary at this age but even more so i don't think its very safe - ties can get tightened in rough and tumble and even more seriously, can get caught on climbing equipment.

That's my views/concerns - what does everyone else think???

OP posts:
Bohica · 09/04/2011 22:11

DD's have all worn ties as part of their winter uniform. Never had a problem with teaching them to tie their own tie & never had a tie related accident within the school.

Uniform teaches them aspects of respect. Respect for your clothes & respect for rules & regulations.

We are not attending a private school, it's a small catholic school & has some very strict rules for the children and parents to adhere to.

We love it & the girls are thriving.

A2363 · 09/04/2011 22:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

A2363 · 09/04/2011 22:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
lulu3376 · 09/04/2011 22:40

Thanks everyone.

Its not a private school and far from poncey. I wouldn't not send him there over a uniform issue as its the quality of education that's important. I was just really surprised that they have to wear ties in reception and that they are proper ties. As many of you have said your schools sensible provide elasticated or clip on.

I don't think it's paranoia, it is a genuine risk that should be considered - I don't want my child to be the schools first case of a tie related accident and there have been incidents nationally.

I'll take it up with them when he starts and will see if I can convert the tie to an elasticated one - thanks for the suggestions and advice

OP posts:
pigletmania · 09/04/2011 22:45

I used to wear a tie in reception back in the days of yore, well 30 years ago Grin

pigletmania · 09/04/2011 22:45

and a proper one at that

lazylula · 09/04/2011 22:45

Ds1 wears a tie for school, but he has an elasticated and a clip on one, they do do the proper ones but I felt it was too much of a faff tbh. He loves wearing it and isn't sure about going to school without it after Easter, when they are allowed to wear polo shirts as part of the Summer uniform.

beanandspud · 09/04/2011 22:49

A2363 I remember having the same when we were little - we had a press-stud at the back to hold it together.

I really don't see why it is an issue. If that's the uniform then the children should wear it.

GiddyPickle · 09/04/2011 22:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

princessparty · 09/04/2011 22:52

All my DC have worn a 'proper tie' since the start of reception.Can't see why they are a strangling hazard when they sit under the collar of a shirt?

princessparty · 09/04/2011 22:54

They could all tie it within a few weeks -why is an elasticated one safer I would have thought more dangerous as they could stratch and get caught round something

PaWithABra · 09/04/2011 22:55

'Rope 'em in young' says I.

Original poster
lulu3376 · 09/04/2011 22:56

Can I just clarify that I don't have an issue with uniform!! I like school uniform as it makes all the children feel equal and it looks smart.

My issue is that I think proper ties are not necessary at this young age
and that they could be a safety issue.....

OP posts:
shesparkles · 09/04/2011 22:57

I really don't see what the issue is? My kids have both worn ties from when they started P1 (although dd's is more of a necklace these daysHmm) and several local schools who had been using polo shirts have now gone back to shirts and ties.
Sometimes in life, you have to conform, and this is one of those times.

PE has never been an issue as you're encouraged to teach the children to tie their own ties before they start school-it's not rocket science

LoveLeonardCohen · 09/04/2011 22:59

YANBU....so glad my DS is going to a school with no uniform

GregoryPeck · 09/04/2011 23:00

DD wears a tie at her Catholic state primary- but only with the winter uniform. They have shirt and tie and pinafore and look very smart. Tie has never been a problem- when DD smaller I just taught her to loosen tie to take off for PE so she didn't have to retie, and she very quickly learnt to tie it herself anyway. I like it, and as far as I know there have been no complaints ( or tie related injuries) there!!

Waswondering · 09/04/2011 23:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PaWithABra · 09/04/2011 23:01

"Neckties are viewed by various sub- and counter-culture movements as being a symbol of submission and slavery (i.e. having a symbolic chain around one's neck) to the corrupt elite of society, as a "wage slave".[19]"

from wikipedia

BarryShitpeas · 09/04/2011 23:02

I would not send my children with such a ridiculous uniform requirement at such a young age.

Polo shirts all the way- I would not put a four year old in a tie.

Bohica · 09/04/2011 23:03

I don't see the safety issue when compared to an elasticated tie?
At our school I can't imagaine a situation being able to arise where a child uses a normal tie to choke/strangle a 4y old, & we don't have climbing frames in the playground but even if we did I don't see how a knotted tie sitting under a shirt collar could cause any harm.

School is a controlled enviroment & learing to tie a tie is a life long skill imo.

blackeyedsusan · 09/04/2011 23:09

some teachers can tie 15 odd ties and pairs of shoelaces very quickly if it means they can actually get a cup of coffee and a trip to the loo at break.

no faffing about getting the lengths correct though. if it is wrong, tuck the long narrow bit in the shirt. Blush
(thank goodness about half the class had elasticated ties or velcro shoes)

mankyminks · 09/04/2011 23:17

Both my DD and DS wore a tie from 4yo. Learned to tie it very quickly themselves and we always got comments on how smart they looked which made them feel proud. Small Catholic Primary with very strict uniform policy. Both are in secondary education now and the teachers there say you can always pick out the children who come from this primary as they take pride in their appearance. I personally really don't like the polo-shirts used by many schools as a lot of them end up looking scruffy. I come from a country where school uniform in unheard of and many of my friends over there say they wish their schools had school uniform as the competition over who wears the latest fashion starts very young,especially amongst girls. My then 5 yo DD had to tie my 35 year old male friends tie when we went to a wedding as he simply had never tied one before.....

Oblomov · 10/04/2011 06:11

Ds1(7) has worn one since reception, at a state catholic school. I tied his to start with, but by the first half term they had all learnt to do their own, as others have said. They look so smart, so sweet. And your fear of accidents is ridiculous. No accidents at our school , ever. Don't you think that H&S would have stopped ties, if it really was an issue.
Are you a bit PFB about other issues aswell, or is it just ties ?

seeker · 10/04/2011 06:26

I don't think ti's a safety issue - but it is stupid.. And ties for girls dates back to the time when girls had to fight for formal education and thei uniforms had ties to show that they . Same goes for girls/ women in other uniformed organizations.. Why on earth girls still shold be wearing something which no adult woman (with a few exceptions) will ever wear is completely baffling.

Oh, and the idea of 4 year olds looking smart and it being thought a good thing just creeps me out1

tinierclanger · 10/04/2011 06:34

Ties on small children don't look 'smart' to me, they look ridiculous. Can't stand seeing small children dressed in suits either! There's plenty of time to 'learn to conform' to the drudgery of office wear when they're older, for those of you who think that's an important lesson.

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