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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be asked to an early afternoon 40th party with kids and then be asked to bring food?

114 replies

carocaro · 08/04/2011 19:43

Someone I know has sent out printed invites to their joint with DH 40th birthday and has just sent a text requesting that we all contribute to the food and drink?

My view is don't have a 40th party at home and spend £ on swanky invites and once your guests have said yes then ask them to bring food.

AIBU

OP posts:
gordyslovesheep · 08/04/2011 19:45

you are only nbu if you HAVE no choice but to attend - if you do - well - don't go!

they are supply booze Wine

ashamedandconfused · 08/04/2011 19:46

YANBU

bring a plate parties are one thing - but sending out printed invites, THEN telling the guests to bring food is rude

mercibucket · 08/04/2011 19:46

doesn't sound like you like them all that much tbh. it wouldn't bother me either way - I expect the invites were cheap and they're doing it at home to save money rather than go out - I wouldn't mind bringing something along but then again I'd only go to the 40th of someone I liked

Dozer · 08/04/2011 19:46

Yanbu

ttalloo · 08/04/2011 19:47

I wouldn't mind bringing food and a bottle - I think you're being mean.

MissJanuary · 08/04/2011 19:48

Well if you contribute to the food and drink, thats your present to them. hopefully they wouldn't be expecting a separate gift on top of that.

hairylights · 08/04/2011 19:49

YABU.

CointreauVersial · 08/04/2011 19:49

Are they friends of yours, or not?

If so, you'll be glad to help by bringing food and drink.

If not, shred the invite and stay at home watching TV.

mumblechum1 · 08/04/2011 19:49

I'd automatically take a bottle. Wouldn't have a problem bringing a bowl of pasta salad or something as well.

thinkingaboutschools · 08/04/2011 19:50

perhaps they are strapped for cash - but would like to have all their friends around for a party. I think you are being a bit unreasonable

reddaisy · 08/04/2011 19:50

I wouldn't mind doing this but if I was the host I would have said something like "in lieu of a gift we would appreciate it if..." It is a bit much to be expected to take a gift as well. Although if it was a close friend then I wouldn't pitch in as they would do the same in return.

I suppose it is no different than going out for a meal to celebrate where everyone is expected to pay for themselves.

expatinscotland · 08/04/2011 19:50

It sounds like a pot luck thing.

But if it's not your style, don't go.

This wouldn't bother me, personally.

Original poster
carocaro · 08/04/2011 19:52

No they are not strapped for cash, far from it, and there is no instead of a gift....................

OP posts:
HeadfirstForHalos · 08/04/2011 19:55

I always offer to bring food/drink if invited to a party at a friends house. It wouldn't bother me at all.

fluffy123 · 08/04/2011 19:59

If you want to go but resent taking food just buy something cheap and cheerful such as a plate of sausage rolls and a cheap bottle of plonk. This won't cost more than the nice wine you would normally take to a party.

Slightlyreluctantexpat · 08/04/2011 19:59

YABU.

Sounds a reasonable request. Shares the load a bit. They'll still provide the lion's share of food and drink.

You dont have to spend much time and effort on your contribution if you don't want to.

nethunsreject · 08/04/2011 19:59

yabu

LittleMissFluffBrain · 08/04/2011 20:00

YABU. They could have done the invites on the computer at home to save money as they might not have much for all you know, and they're asking everyone to bring a plate of food to keep the costs down instead of going out.
Doesn't sound like you're bothered about them or going to the party much in the first place and are looking for an excuse not to go.
I think it's a good idea of theirs to keep things cheap.

LoopyLoopsChupaChups · 08/04/2011 20:04

YABU.

TrillianAstra · 08/04/2011 20:05

You're not unreasonable to be asked.

It's not as if you could prevent it.

Pineneedles · 08/04/2011 20:09

yanbu. Bloody cheek. And they have no style.

MadamDeathstare · 08/04/2011 20:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

emmy12 · 08/04/2011 20:56

YABU think it's just a nice way of having a party - if she's invited everyone's dcs it can be a lot of people. Don't go if you don't want to or muck in and have a good time.

Megatron · 08/04/2011 20:59

YABU. You'd probably be best not to go as you clearly don't think very much of them.

PumpkinBones · 08/04/2011 21:01

YABU. Seriously, you have a problem with this?