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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be absolutely furious

110 replies

nextchapter · 06/04/2011 15:44

Dh has a close family to say the least, they would arguably rival the Windsors.
Anyway, on Mother's Day we suggested taking his mother out for the day, which she managed to turn into the usual palava inviting one of DH's brothers, his wife and their 2 children, whose best behaviour is not the err...best. Also came was FIL's brother and wife and one of their son's and their children who are 12,9 and 7 and frankly are like hooligans.

ANYWAY, where we went was a sort of rundown castle, lots of child friendly activites etc, one of which was crossing a fairly shallow river on stepping stones. So all the children were crossing this, I was sat on the bank with my youngest who is still a baby, and DH, BIL and their cousin were helping the kids. DD got a bit panicky when crossing the stones and was dithering a bit. After around 10secs, DH cousin's eldest came up behind her and shoved her so hard she literally was thrown in the air and landed around a metre from where she was standing having banged her head pretty bloody hard on the stepping stone. Then the cousin's three kids came up and started kicking her, she was now in the river, and throwing water all over and calling her names. Dh's cousin and his wife at no point intervened, and neither did MIL or Dh's uncle and aunt. DH and myself left immediately and took her to hospital to get her checked over, no damage but she was hysterical.

Anyway, the orginal plan following the day out was to return to our house for food which DH and I were cooking. We obviously assumed given the events this would not be occuring but at 5, MIL, DH's uncle and aunt, cousin, wife and children appeared expecting to be fed. Cue massive argument as we were told that "kids will be kids"

AIBU to not want my DC around these people, this however will prove hard as such a close family

OP posts:
stream · 06/04/2011 15:46

YANBU.

Did you send them packing?

weblette · 06/04/2011 15:47

YANBU

laInfanta · 06/04/2011 15:48

I would have gone fucking mental

nextchapter · 06/04/2011 15:48

Yes we did!! To hear MIL hiss that I was "too gentle with them, its a little rough and tumble". Honestly, when its just me and her we get on great, bring in the DC or another relative and I'm the woman who stole her little angel

OP posts:
LittleOneMum · 06/04/2011 15:48

YANBU. Tell DH you are never seeing them again. Kids will be kids, but if adults don't tell them what is right and wrong..

nextchapter · 06/04/2011 15:49

Tbh at TWELVE they should be more than aware of what is right and wrong.

I am sure I am not being unreasonable, I mainly just wanted to rant!!! LOL

OP posts:
NestaFiesta · 06/04/2011 15:51

YANBU. It really pisses me off when parents can't be bothered to keep their kids in line. Your DD could have been seriously injured or drowned. The adults concerned are irresponsible to brush this off.

laInfanta · 06/04/2011 15:51

I would have said that due to the child's actions my DD ended up at HOSPITAL, and they were lucky I didn't call the police. It sounds really nasty. 12 is above the age of criminal responsibility. If my kid came home and said strangers did this, I would call the police no question

TheArmadillo · 06/04/2011 15:52

That is fucking awful. Even worse considering their ages.

I would refuse to have anything to do wtih them ever again tbh.

How old is your dd?

BoobopTallullah · 06/04/2011 15:52

Jesus! Kicking your dd when she's on the ground? That's yob behaviour not dc behaviour. Yadnbu. Tell them to fuck the fuck off and teach their kids right from wrong.

Pinkjenny · 06/04/2011 15:54

YANBU

I would have gone absolutely ballistic. Animals.

nextchapter · 06/04/2011 15:55

My DD is three Amaradillo. Bless her brothers though, they're 3 and 6 and were getting all protective and wading in. Very proud of them!

DD was incrediably shaken up and we kept her off nursery yesterday and today and she had a nightmare last night

OP posts:
purplepidjin · 06/04/2011 15:59

Twelve, nine and seven year olds shoving a three year old is unacceptable

Kicking her and calling her names is outfuckingrageous and you should get no blame whatsoever for protecting your daughter from that kind of abuse

Shock and Sad for you

laInfanta · 06/04/2011 16:01

She's only 3???? I thought she was 11 or something!

That is fucking disgusting.

MummyDoIt · 06/04/2011 16:03

I wouldn't accept kicking from a child of any age. Even a toddler should be told that it's unacceptable behaviour. To kick a small child who is on the ground, hurt and in distress, is outrageous. I'd be angry with the children but just as furious with the adults who sat back and did not intervene. I'd be keeping well away from the lot of them, if I were you. Hope your DD is feeling a bit better today.

IreneHeron · 06/04/2011 16:04

That would be it for me, I'd never want to see any of them again. YANBU! It is bad enough that it happened but that the adults didn't intervene is fucking outrageous!

Bless your DD, I hope she recovers from the trauma.

prettyfly1 · 06/04/2011 16:05

I would be absolutely fricking livid so no yanbu - what a bunch of a-holes, I cant believe they actually came round for tea. No, if they cannot behave like human beings they cannot spend time with your daughter. Disgraceful!

Skinit · 06/04/2011 16:05

OMG! YANBU! I would have kicked the little shits arse....12! And he did that! He needs help. Stay away from them. I hope DD is k now poor little thing!

Itsjustafleshwound · 06/04/2011 16:07

Reading between the lines you don't really like the kids from the get-go and this has just cemented your opinion.

If you feel so strongly about it, just limit the exposure you have to the family.

Have you said anything to the parents of the said children??

ConstanceFelicity · 06/04/2011 16:08

I am furious on your behalf! For a 12-year-old to bully a 3-year-old is frankly disturbing. I cannot abide this "it's just rough and tumble" nonsense. And I have two boisterous boys.

saffy85 · 06/04/2011 16:10

YANBU Shock

Infact, I don't know what I find most shocking tbh- the thuggish behaviour of the children who attacked your DD, the fact that not one other adult like say, their parents stepped in and attempted to stop them or that they all had the fucking audacity to show up at your's for tea the same day as all this happened.

Yes keep away from these awful people, they actually sound quite dangerous- their kids attack a much smaller child and not only do their parents not intervene, they actually seem to think it's acceptable! Shock

diddl · 06/04/2011 16:11

I think I could quite happily never see any of them again tbh-adults or children.

edam · 06/04/2011 16:16

Good grief. Agree with everyone else, this is appalling and you would be very sensible if you just refused to see them ever again. They are lucky you weren't furious enough to call the police given the 12yo is over the age of criminal responsibility. Horrid brats, what on earth are they going to be like as adults if they think attacking a 3yo is OK?

nextchapter · 06/04/2011 16:18

Tbh, if i never saw them again it would be too soon. But Dh's family is very close knit and he has a tendancy to brush things under the carpet as to not rock to boat. I am not like that. He is very very close to his family, and plays cricket with this cousin, as well as his two brothers. However i hope that this incident will make him wake up and realise that relatives cannot and do not come before our family

OP posts:
GandTiceandaslice · 06/04/2011 16:18

Absolutly dreadful.
The family should be ashamed of themselves.