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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be absolutely furious

110 replies

nextchapter · 06/04/2011 15:44

Dh has a close family to say the least, they would arguably rival the Windsors.
Anyway, on Mother's Day we suggested taking his mother out for the day, which she managed to turn into the usual palava inviting one of DH's brothers, his wife and their 2 children, whose best behaviour is not the err...best. Also came was FIL's brother and wife and one of their son's and their children who are 12,9 and 7 and frankly are like hooligans.

ANYWAY, where we went was a sort of rundown castle, lots of child friendly activites etc, one of which was crossing a fairly shallow river on stepping stones. So all the children were crossing this, I was sat on the bank with my youngest who is still a baby, and DH, BIL and their cousin were helping the kids. DD got a bit panicky when crossing the stones and was dithering a bit. After around 10secs, DH cousin's eldest came up behind her and shoved her so hard she literally was thrown in the air and landed around a metre from where she was standing having banged her head pretty bloody hard on the stepping stone. Then the cousin's three kids came up and started kicking her, she was now in the river, and throwing water all over and calling her names. Dh's cousin and his wife at no point intervened, and neither did MIL or Dh's uncle and aunt. DH and myself left immediately and took her to hospital to get her checked over, no damage but she was hysterical.

Anyway, the orginal plan following the day out was to return to our house for food which DH and I were cooking. We obviously assumed given the events this would not be occuring but at 5, MIL, DH's uncle and aunt, cousin, wife and children appeared expecting to be fed. Cue massive argument as we were told that "kids will be kids"

AIBU to not want my DC around these people, this however will prove hard as such a close family

OP posts:
edam · 06/04/2011 22:44

kungfu, with your professional experience, do you think nextchapter should report this to the police?

(twofalls, I remember that thread, ruddy well done. Can't remember what he got in the end, though?)

muminthemiddle · 06/04/2011 22:54

I agree with everyone else. It is disgusting behaviour, both by the children and their parents. I mis-read your post at first and thought your dh's cousin was the one who had pushed your dd at first!

I would do as you have done, no contact with the cousins children but I would also stop any invites to dh's cousin and wife.
I just wouldn't want someone like that around my family.
Also if say the bil turns up with cousin then say specifically I do not want you (cousin) in my home. you don't have to justify yourself to anyone, you have done nothing wrong.

MadamDeathstare · 06/04/2011 23:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LoopyLoopsChupaChups · 06/04/2011 23:27

Police.

And no, YANBU. At all. Hope she's OK.

GColdtimer · 07/04/2011 11:00

Edam after much faffing over court dates. (I got it adjourned becasue dd2 was oy 6 weeks) he pleaded guilty before the court case so we didn't have to go to court. He was fined £400 plus £300 costs. Horrible man.

The police took my comaont very seriously as I am sure they would this if you decided to proceed. Might just give the partents a well needed kick up the arse to control their kids.

nextchapter · 07/04/2011 14:17

Sorry everyone for the delay. DD seems to be ok now, but we are keeping a close eye on her and her brothers. She was only in the water for less than 10 seconds, if not longer and we are keeping her away from her sceond cousins for the forseeable future. Thanks everyone for the support

OP posts:
Deliainthemaking · 07/04/2011 14:40

That is Awful OP

a 12 yr old kicking a 3 year old??

if she was closer the same age if woul;d be bad enough but no YANBU

im hope your DD is better soon :)

edam · 07/04/2011 20:23

twofalls, glad he was convicted although not entirely sure it's a sufficient penalty. I do hope his business suffered as well.

GColdtimer · 11/04/2011 10:23

Thanks Edam. Tbh, I think it was because he pleaded guilty. He could have got a stiffer penalty if we had all gone to court but I was just relieved not to have to take a constantly breastfeeding baby and a very nervous mother to court. I would love to know if it effected his business tho....

ScroobiousPip · 11/04/2011 10:37

Just read the thread and truly appalled.

I hope you do call/have called the police OP. Hard for the family perhaps but imagine if it happens again to another little child when there isn't an adult to intervene. Would you be able to forgive yourself, knowing you could have reported them?

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