to use the disabled toilet in this situation?

[dolldaggabuzzbuzz]

I took mine and my sister's DCs for a nice day out to the cinema. There was just me and 4 kids aged between 3 and 5. After we bought our tickets I took them to the Ladies toilet, they were all engaged and there were a few people waiting.

I decided not to wait and took the DCs out to the disabled toilet as there was no one using or waiting for it. When we had all finished we were washing our hands when someone tried the door, one of the DCs had unlocked it and this woman in a wheelchair came in with her partner, I said I won't be a minute. She glared at me and muttered some things.

I was really embarrassed that I had been caught out using the disabled toilet and I wanted to apologise to the lady for keeping her waiting (for less than a minute!) but she was really, really angry. The DCs ran out in opposite directions and I quickly said sorry to the lady and as I walked off she screamed "Bitch!" at me. I never turned back to look at her. I don't think the DCs noticed anything!

I was so upset I couldn't get it out of my head throughout the film, and it ruined my day. I don't think what I did was that bad. I thought that woman was really horrible. AIBU?

I use the disabled toilet sometimes if I'm out with dd simply because you cannot fit a pushchair into a normal sized cubicle and there is no way that I'm about to leave her outside on her own! Also, she's only just 3 and can't reach the sink to wash her hands in normal toilets, the disabled sinks are at a much better height. Until public places consider children by providing steps or a lower sink I will continue to do so. And the way she spoke to you is completely unacceptable, yanbu.

gemsy - you reckon I can use the loo while holding a baby with a toddler crammed in with us (and then lift her to use the loo too, always assuming she hasn't had an accident in the meantime)? I don't have four hands.

"And some people become disabled and begin to think that the world owes them a favour because of it" I am astounded at this comment. Bubblecoral I hope you never have cause to find out how hard life can be when you are disabled

Having recently been temporarily disabled (4 months without being able to walk) I can assure you that the world still is not a friendly place for the disabled & consideration from the general public is very thin on the ground. I was astounded how many people thought it was ok to push past someone on crutches. In this case yes it could have been someone disabled using the toilet & she would have had to wait however if all parents with children start to use them then it will become almost inevitable that there will be a wait. It took me a long time to get to the toilet in the first place - a wait on top of this did make life more difficult.

YABU to use the disabled toilet in this instance

The woman was BU to scream at you but YABU to let it spoil the rest of your day

YABU for using the toilet.
The woman was BVVVVVVU for speaking to you in that way.

How does she know you or one of the DCs wasnt disabled?

Does she think only wheelchair users are disabled?

Gemsy I think you are being deliberately antagonistic and trying to put words in my mouth. At no point have I said that it is better to let a disabled person wet themselves. Why does it have to be either/or?

Me nice attitude? You are a total joke! Having a buggy does NOT give you any entitlement to use DISABLED facilties because get it through your head having a baby a disability does not make!

Gemsy - what should I have done with two non-walking babies in a double buggy then?

I dont think there were any buggies/prams in this instant - OP just didnt want to wait for the loo!

My SIL is disabled - she has severe MS, she is in a wheelchair and her bladder is weak.....if she needed the loos and there was some else in there disabled then she would just have to wait (and possibly pee herself ) - it's not fair if she is waiting for able bodied people who cant be doing with queues........

Hell, lets just park in their spaces as well....we wont have as far to walk.

I hate this world sometimes, we have all gotten so selfish!

"Take the kids out the buggy?"

What if they cannot yet walk? Let them crawl around on the toilet floor?

Do you have children Gemsy?

Lack of facilities for your particular situation does not render you disabled in any way shape or form. My friend has a baby and a toddler. She has never, to the best of my knowledge, used disabled facilities. Plenty of people manage.

I happen to think that buggies are entirely incompatible with getting about in most places, so I opted out of the whle problem and use a sling. Problem solved. I'm not suggesting that everyone should take that option, but the point remains that it is your responsibility to make your own arrangements. Someone with serious disabilities is not in a situation to do so and I think it is entirely inappropriate to take over facilities intended for someone in that situation. Parenting might be tricky to negotiate at times, but it certainly isn't a disability.

If you cant cope with taking your kids/yourself for piss please do the world a favour and stay indoors. As I said earlier your inability to control/look after the kids you choose to have should not impact on the convenience of those who are not in their predicament BY CHOICE.

I don't think that anyone who uses disabled toilets would want a disabled person to wet themselves as a result. Personally I've never seen a queue at a disabled toilet and I always use them if available weather I have a child with me or not. Don't see the problem.

YANBU

From the strength of her reaction, it sounds to me as thought it's very possible the woman in the OP had had an accident while waiting .

Can we ban disabled people form normal toilets? Just asking as many can still use a normal toilet if the disabled ones are busy.

yanbu. there is nothing wrong with using the diabled toilet if it is free. especially since they insist on putting the baby change facilities in there!

anyway its a 'disabled' toilet, not a 'wheelchair users only' toilet. she had no reason to think that you didn't have a disability as msny cannot be seen by the naked eye.

There seems to be confusion over whether these toilets are disabled toilets or accessible toilets. I don't know either way. My guess would be that since some of them include baby changing facilities, that they are actually accessible toilets rather than just for disabled people only.

My other issue is that sometimes non-disabled people have to use facilities in a hurry too. Being phyically unable to wait is not confined to people who are registered disabled.

Its also an awful waste of a public facility if only disabled people are allowed to use them. I know that its quite expensive to put them in to public facilities, and when theres limited space in a building, it can mean other public facilities have to be less in number.

Yes I do Mrs- I manage to go about my business without inconveniencing others as well-its a life skill one develops when they possess something known as empathy.

Those of you going on about buggies

you take child out of buggy, fold it up and leave it outside

fgs how do you manage when they're isn't a disabled loo or it's locked for radar keys only?

Gemsy is funny. Unless she's serious in which case it's a little bit disturbing.

Bramshott - I thought that.

"you are a total joke"

"get it through your head"

Charming.

No, having a baby does not mean you have a disability, but it does mean that it is difficult to access certain places.

Until they make "Buggy And Pram Use" toilets, then I don't see what choice someone would have but to use a "Disabled" toilet.

I really cannot see what the problem is.

What BristolJim said.

If there is a queue in the womens then why do you think its right to use the disabled loos?, surely if the loos are to be used by anyone then why not use the mens?

brilliant gemsy. I just love the idea that if I choose to have two small children I therefore have to stay indoors 24/7, because I don't have enough hands to use a 50cmx1m loo cubicle. Luckily, no-one has put you in charge, so rant away if it makes you feel better...