to use the disabled toilet in this situation?

[dolldaggabuzzbuzz]

I took mine and my sister's DCs for a nice day out to the cinema. There was just me and 4 kids aged between 3 and 5. After we bought our tickets I took them to the Ladies toilet, they were all engaged and there were a few people waiting.

I decided not to wait and took the DCs out to the disabled toilet as there was no one using or waiting for it. When we had all finished we were washing our hands when someone tried the door, one of the DCs had unlocked it and this woman in a wheelchair came in with her partner, I said I won't be a minute. She glared at me and muttered some things.

I was really embarrassed that I had been caught out using the disabled toilet and I wanted to apologise to the lady for keeping her waiting (for less than a minute!) but she was really, really angry. The DCs ran out in opposite directions and I quickly said sorry to the lady and as I walked off she screamed "Bitch!" at me. I never turned back to look at her. I don't think the DCs noticed anything!

I was so upset I couldn't get it out of my head throughout the film, and it ruined my day. I don't think what I did was that bad. I thought that woman was really horrible. AIBU?

Im not aggresive Vintage im just astonished how low people will stoop to try and be 'right' when all they do is make themself look ridiculous. Im going for a bath and to read my book now before we get onto any more ridiculous 'what if' scenarios in an attempt to try and justify bad manners and selfish behaviour.

If she isn't old enough to go to the loo on her own then she isn't too old to go in the mens with her dad.

I don't disagree with you! I agree with you in 99% of cases, but the "oh we are the only ones who care" from a few posters, not just Gemsy, is a bit wearing. Loads of people have said the OP was out of order, and hopefully a few more people who have been on this thread will now think twice before using the disabled loo again.

"justify bad manners and selfish behaviour." - according to you Gemsie, but a perfectly reasonable use of the facilities provided for that purpose to others.

Enjoy your bath.

Messybessie - you a Louis Jordan fan perchance?

wow! I have just read this entire thread and I am still dumbfounded...I respect that folk who use wheelchairs should take precedent over others who need to use the bathroom but the OP decided that the children she was caring for needed the loo and whilst no wheelchair user was waiting at the time , took the children into the accessible loo to get the job done quickly rather than fanny about with several children in several cubicles taking up more time...AND she apologised to the person waiting

How often do YOU come out of a public toilet and apologise for keeping them waiting? When you gotta go you gotta go!

It was just unfortunate for the OP that a wheelchair user was waiting outside when she opened the door - a wheelchair user who was very rude .....since when does being dependent on a wheelchair give you the right to be abusive?

Since when though does being in a wheelchair entitle you to go first .....if there had been another wheelchair user in the toilet, would the other wheelchair user in question gobbed off to them - I doubt it - but they still may have soiled themselves whilst waiting and been far less abusive to another wheelchair user - they might have even smiled and said 'no problem'

Maybe there ought to be more accessible toilets rather than normal cubicles?

Calling you a bitch was OTT

I think that ideally the OP should have waited and not used the disabled loo - but with 4 small kids she chose the easiest option.
Ideally the disabled lady should not have sworn but then maybe waiting for the loo when she shouldn't have had to was the last straw.

Disability is a misfortune, and those people unlucky enough to have disabilities don't need pity, just understanding and practical help.
We all need to remember that becoming a parent is a lifestyle choice - however hard that can prove to be. Part of bringing up a child well is to teach them to respect those who are disabled and to understand why we have disabled toilets.
Yawn. Night all.

I had something similar happen to me at the weekend. DS (5 months) did a poop while we were out and needed a nappy change. Someone had just gone into the Baby Changing Room with a baby and a toddler and locked the door so would obviously be a while. Disabled loo was empty with no one disabled anywhere near so I asked a staff member if it would be Ok for me to pop in there. She said it was fine. I actually left the door ajar so if anyone came, I could tell them I would just be a minute.

Woman pushing a man in a wheelchair comes up and I can hear her sighing and muttering from outside. I say that I will just be a sec and I was probably no more than 15 seconds as I was just putting DSs trousers back on. As I come out, she snarls at me and mutters 'is she bloody blind, these are disabled toilets, silly cow'. I said 'sorry can you repeat that' so she pushes past me clipping DSs pram with the wheelchair and slams the door. I did absolutely nothing wrong.

Some people are just nasty arseholes. I would not think twice next time about using a disabled loo if I needed to and no one else looked like they would need it in that moment. Why would I leave my DS in a shitty nappy for 10/15 mins while waiting for the Baby room to become free just in case someone MIGHT need the disabled loo. Absolute madness.

This whole issue should be very simple.

Disabled toilets are for the use of those who need them, ie the disabled, permanent or temporary. As it's a toilet that would include continence issues, permanent or temporary.

There are exceptions to every rule and it is up to the individual to repectfully and sensibly decide if the really NEED to use the disabled loo. If they do then do. If they don't then leave it for those in genuine need.

manicinsomniac Bravo! The voice of reason.

I can't quite believe nobody has pointed out the obvious yet: the problem arose not from OP using the toilet, but from using the basin. She momentarily denied the disabled person access to an available loo because she wanted to finish washing the kids' hands in the basin there, instead of using another basin outside of the disabled loo. The delay may have only been a minute, it may have been 10; it's not the length of time that matters here, but the general principle.

OP said, 'I'll be just a minute', and then proceeded to finish the hand washing. This may not have been a big deal to her, but the message she sent out was: Hold your horses disabled person, I've got four pairs of hands to wash here and that is of far greater importance than you wanting to use this available loo.'

No wonder the woman was irate. I don't condone swearing like she did, but I can certainly see why she would have seen your actions as being bitchy. It must have seemed to her that you didn't care. I would never make a disabled person wait while I finished washing my hands. I think that's terribly inconsiderate.

Did the OP ever actually come back on the thread? Just chucked a grenade and ran I think :)

Has anyone else noticed that the people who can't be arsed to read the whole thread but want to comment anyway, are also the ones saying they don't see why they should have to wait if there is a disabled toilet free.

I'm just saying. Looks like a pattern is emerging

Yanbu
Have not read whole thread.

There are many disabled toilets that also double up as baby change/feeding rooms.

Also I often take my dc one in a push chair into disabled because I do not want to leave the pushchair outside the loo while I go.

Is that wrong?

And rests case......

Pagwatch - I think I feel my first ever LOL coming on....

lmao I never said i was happy for a disabled person to soil themselves, simply that if they have a disability that leaves them with no bladder control then they would have a bag and as such no urgent need to use the disabled wc.

personally i dont see the difference between a regular person soiling themselves and someone disabled doing so.

as previously mentioned there's no law against non disabled people using them!

I think the nature of the thread is that we will all judge each other based on our view of what constitutes reasonable behaviour tbh. So you can't really tell others how to view you. They will view you as they wish.

But if I can refer you to the and the which are intended to indicate a comment not meant to be taken terribly seriously.