to use the disabled toilet in this situation?

[dolldaggabuzzbuzz]

I took mine and my sister's DCs for a nice day out to the cinema. There was just me and 4 kids aged between 3 and 5. After we bought our tickets I took them to the Ladies toilet, they were all engaged and there were a few people waiting.

I decided not to wait and took the DCs out to the disabled toilet as there was no one using or waiting for it. When we had all finished we were washing our hands when someone tried the door, one of the DCs had unlocked it and this woman in a wheelchair came in with her partner, I said I won't be a minute. She glared at me and muttered some things.

I was really embarrassed that I had been caught out using the disabled toilet and I wanted to apologise to the lady for keeping her waiting (for less than a minute!) but she was really, really angry. The DCs ran out in opposite directions and I quickly said sorry to the lady and as I walked off she screamed "Bitch!" at me. I never turned back to look at her. I don't think the DCs noticed anything!

I was so upset I couldn't get it out of my head throughout the film, and it ruined my day. I don't think what I did was that bad. I thought that woman was really horrible. AIBU?

Well I would imagine that my severely disabled son who dies not use a wheelchair and needs no additional room, qualifies.

But tbh I have to go to bed so the endless me me me, self justification and the multi layered explanations of why fucked off woman in wheelchair was really in the wrong, will have to wait for another day.

no they are not always wheelchair bound as you and some poster earlier put it, the wheelchair is just thier legs to get around with.

wonderif but they didn't, none of the dc's or the op have sn.
so the lady in the wheelchair who was disabled(we assume cos seh was in a wheelchair) imo had very right to be annoyed as she might well have been in pain.

Yes shockingly some people who need to get from A to B in a wheelchair can actually STAND UP and WALK SHORT DISTANCES

But what if she (lady in wheel chair) got to the loo and had to wait because there was another disabled person in there. Her condition would be no different - she would still have to wait.

ahh but at least that would be someone who had a right to use the toilet,
so ok not nice, but at least fair

We've discussed this a million times Vintage. Then she would have to wait because someone who was as entitled to her was using the same facility not because someone who fancied using it for their own convenience decided to use it.

Ah - but as many have said - a disabled loo is there so that disabled people have access to toileting facilities; not only for disabled people.

(unless they are radar key loos).

Gemsy83 do you feel like you are banging your head against a brick wall, cos I do. every time these threads appear, one thing becomes clear, having children makes you important, and because if this the whole world must revolve around you. you being mn, not you iynwim

Yes it does, but hopefully people wont be haunted by their selfish and ignorant ways in the future, having to struggle with the slightest things we all take for granted.

So if my dd (who sufferes from chronic constipation, resulting in 'sneaky poo' escaping at inconvenient times occasionally) needed to go to the loo and there's a massive queue but the disabled loo is empty, do I:

a) make her stand and wait with the knowledge that I will making her soil herself unecessarily or
b) use the disabled loo if it's free?

Another scenario.....

DH takes the kids to a restaurant/shopping etc and they need the loo.
He takes them to the disabled loo because he doesn't want his 9 yr old dd to go into the men's loo with open urinals and he doesn't want to send her into the loo on her own (remember Tesco rape case).

I'm sure that a sensible person wouldn't judge him for using the disabled loo.

Shoesy, it is not that having children makes us important, there is no parting of the red sea necessary.

Merely that places have to have loos that are accessible to people with accessibility issues which INCLUDES people with small children. Some places make this clear by including the baby change in with the disabled loos, some places don't but the spirit is the same.

You are shouting selfishness where it is not justified. You can wear your hair shirt if you wish but don't think that others are lacking some kind of moral code because they use facilities that they are perfectly entitled (and indeed designed) to use.

Oh FGS Vintage....how common is it for young children or indeed anyone to get raped in Tesco's toilets? If so even your 13 year old would be at bloody risk- quick stay in doors everyone! Head for the nearest disabled loo there be rapists about!

Gemsy and shoesy, you are acting as if you are the only people who have said that the OP was unreasonable. Plenty of others have said the same thing.

If you have a condition that means you might soil youself/wet yourself or you risk a UTI by hanging on then by all means use the disabled.

If you haven't then don't.

HTH

Gemsy - you're always so rude to people who post anything you disagree with. You can be assertive with your views without being so agressive

Am I? I am the only one getting the stick for it though I must admit itsalarf

Man alive this has just become silly. Disabled or not we all need to pee. I have peed in many a place. I have peed with the cubicle door open and the pram wedged in the door, fanny out for the world to see, marvelous! I have taken both children to the loo, then desperately had my turn only for child 1 to open the door, again bits and bobs open to the public. Then had to negotiate the highlight of the bathroom trip with hand washing. If all three of us use the disabled loo in Sainsbos or wherever, we are out, done and dusted in minutes. No one inconvenienced so to speak. No one has to witness me pleading with DD to wash her hands etc. Disabled or not the OP did the right thing. The unpleasant (disabled) woman did not. FWIW if I were about to use the disabled loo and someone disabled got there at the same time I would ask them if they needed to go ahead of me. Because I am nice. Unlike the woman the OP encountered.

Okay - it was an example - dd is 9 now but when she was 5, there's no way in a big restaurant that dh would have sent her off into the loos alone. For some people, it's no big deal but for others it is.