to use the disabled toilet in this situation?

[dolldaggabuzzbuzz]

I took mine and my sister's DCs for a nice day out to the cinema. There was just me and 4 kids aged between 3 and 5. After we bought our tickets I took them to the Ladies toilet, they were all engaged and there were a few people waiting.

I decided not to wait and took the DCs out to the disabled toilet as there was no one using or waiting for it. When we had all finished we were washing our hands when someone tried the door, one of the DCs had unlocked it and this woman in a wheelchair came in with her partner, I said I won't be a minute. She glared at me and muttered some things.

I was really embarrassed that I had been caught out using the disabled toilet and I wanted to apologise to the lady for keeping her waiting (for less than a minute!) but she was really, really angry. The DCs ran out in opposite directions and I quickly said sorry to the lady and as I walked off she screamed "Bitch!" at me. I never turned back to look at her. I don't think the DCs noticed anything!

I was so upset I couldn't get it out of my head throughout the film, and it ruined my day. I don't think what I did was that bad. I thought that woman was really horrible. AIBU?

I only went in to Tesco to use the loo and change a nappy

YWNBU. On your own with 4 young children I would have thought it was the safest and easiest option. You wouldn't have been able to fit 5 people in a regular toilet cubicle nor would it be ideal to leave any of them outside. The wheelchair user should not have called you a bitch, that was rude and out of order imo.

But she may have had Tourette's. May have had Tourette's.

Heh heh.

Its so convenient whenever people try and make a point about something that 'ive worked with...' or 'my relatives are and they say this- so thats a fact'

I always use the disabled loo I'm afraid. In my local town, the only decent toilets are in M and S. There are 2 cubicles for the the whole sodding shop and they always stink.

If the disabled one is free, I use it. It is clean and doesn't smell. I have been doing this for years and have never seen a sign that says "for disabled people only" I assumed it was ok to use until I joined Mnet.

And another thought-the baby changing thingy is in there too so mums with babies use it also.

Has anyone ever seen a sign "for disabled use only"?

I don't understand this issue, or the hysteria around it.

Disabled toilets are there, in the main, so disabled people have access to an appropriate loo, not because they are all incontinent. IT IS NOT THE SAME AS PARKING SPACES.

Often the baby change will be combined with disabled, because it's access that's the issue, not immediacy. If it's ok on those establishments, why should people with lots of children or pushchairs not think it's ok otherwise.

Some shopping centres have family loos with 2 loos and a changing station which are genius but otherwise, I would use disabled everytime. I also used th when I was pregnant for fear of pissing myself.

That lady was rude and offensive, disabled or not.

So, if working extensively with a certain section of society doesn't give you some insight into the pitfalls faced by that section of society, what does?

If I did I would challenge it. That is discriminatory, and probably why they don't have them

No it is common sense a disabled loo is for disabled people- it shouldnt need to say 'strictly disabled people only'.

Wow who's making assumptions now? You know zero about me and my life yet assume I dont know anything about disability. Bravo.

Cantspel...what makes the lady in the wheelchair so special that she can't wait? People with disabilities want to be treated normally...well normally, you have to queue to go to public toilets.

Unless of course you are the OP AnMum....

I have often taken one eight month old into the toilets with me sat on my knee.
I have also often taken one eight month old into the toilets with me on my back in a sling.
I have never taken two eight month olds into the toilets at the same time (though I have taken two babies/ children of different - but close - ages in many times)

I am certain I could pretty easily take two eight month olds into the toilet. Not as easily as popping in by myself, certainly, but not a huge impossible task.

Why is it that men never have to queue????

hi i would like to say i think the disabled lady was being unreasonable. she just ASSUMED you didnt have a disability because you were not in a wheelchair. its people like her that make it more difficult for people that have "hidden" disabilities. my hubby has renal failure and when he has to go he has to go lol, if he doesnt it can cause urine infections that have put him in hospital. so he has on occasions used the disabled toilets xx

I [holds up hand in shame], have USED the accessible toilet in my local costa...

I have even used it with DD when the (also) single not accessible toilet is n use (two toilets both single)... I did feel guilty, but on reflection, I found it a tad tricky to get in there with the buggy once and my buggy is pretty nimble, so TBH I would say it was NOT terribly accessible, maybe I should complain? It also has the baby change in, so that makes it better. The single non accessible one freaks DD out because the hand drier is right next to the door, I have knocked my elbow on it SEVERAL times trying to get in and out, and once trapped my finger between it and the door... and I didn't complain cos I am a clumsy oaf...

Actually, thinking about it, the facilities are pretty poor every where near me... One of the radar toilets is on the second... not wonderfully accessible.

Frankly I try to see this from both sides. I don't see the OP as a mindless breeder with only attention on the clones. Sorry but children are PEOPLE too. It might not be socially shameful to let a child pee themseleves, but am sure if it happened at school, or at preschool then parents would have issues, cos CHILDREN HAVE RIGHTS. Sure they need to be taught about the rights of others (So I would try not to use the disabled toilet), but saying people with a pushchair cannot use a ACCESSIBLE toilet because they CHOSE to breed is ridiculous. The need is the child's, not the parent's. Mainly I used normal loo's, unless changing a nappy. In which case I would quickly use the toilet too... and feel guilty. The fact is places need to be accessible for all, and that includes babies in pushchairs. It's not right to discrimate one section simply because one day they will hopefully grow up and be able to walk. Sometimes it really isn't practical to take a child out of a buggy. It's not selfishness on the parent's part, but society is quite happy to moan about stupid people making lifestyle choices. Yeah sure, we could always not have them... Sometimes people forget they were babies once.

You are right tho, disabled people have to live with it forever. I am reminded here of something (a disabled person) said to me. They are not disabled, it is the environment that disables them. THAT is the key issue, so while toilets etc are on the whole to many people there is an issue.

gemsy call my experience "convenient" if you like, which I assume means you're accusing me of lying. But it is completely true. I've mentioned it plenty on here, please feel free to advance search.

Also, with so many users, there is bound to be someone with experience on most issues on here which is why there is always someone with "convenient" experience.

the word, "inaccessible" should have been in the last line... argh.

I haven't had time to read all 500+ responses however here's how I feel about it...

OP, YANBU, I use them all the time in busy places.

A disabled toilet is only a disabled toilet because it has to be larger than other cubicles to allow for wheelchair access. THERE IS NO LAW against using these facilities, they are free for all to use.

MsScarlett - tell me how then! Because standing there with a double buggy, two babies, no sling and a narrow doorway I could not see a way round it.

Im not saying you are lying but I very much doubt 800 wheelchair users told you they dont mind non disabled people using disabled toilets.

Oh, and she was completely out of order calling you a bitch too!