to use the disabled toilet in this situation?

[dolldaggabuzzbuzz]

I took mine and my sister's DCs for a nice day out to the cinema. There was just me and 4 kids aged between 3 and 5. After we bought our tickets I took them to the Ladies toilet, they were all engaged and there were a few people waiting.

I decided not to wait and took the DCs out to the disabled toilet as there was no one using or waiting for it. When we had all finished we were washing our hands when someone tried the door, one of the DCs had unlocked it and this woman in a wheelchair came in with her partner, I said I won't be a minute. She glared at me and muttered some things.

I was really embarrassed that I had been caught out using the disabled toilet and I wanted to apologise to the lady for keeping her waiting (for less than a minute!) but she was really, really angry. The DCs ran out in opposite directions and I quickly said sorry to the lady and as I walked off she screamed "Bitch!" at me. I never turned back to look at her. I don't think the DCs noticed anything!

I was so upset I couldn't get it out of my head throughout the film, and it ruined my day. I don't think what I did was that bad. I thought that woman was really horrible. AIBU?

marmalade, thanks, your story demonstrated my point perfectly.

Marmalade
I am not embarrassing myself. I am trying to have a reasoned discussion, but you keep making snide comments.

Dont think anyone has ever said a child with special needs shouldnt use disabled facilities did they?

You view them as snide if you like. They weren't offensive, I was merely making a joke of what you said. Take it how you like. It's just not nice hearing a "lady" of your age using language like that.

How do you know how old I am?

[adjusts Mcafee security scanner]

1980Sport - I think I made it clear in my earlier posts that I was referring to NT children. Any parent with a SN child is a separate issue - and IMO if necessary should be allowed to use disabled facilities if apropriate.

However, parents with NT children are just being lazy/uninventive IMO.

Hang on boysinthehood, it was just an amusing story. I wasn't using it as an example to prove that disabled people should just wait like the rest of us. Please don't throw me into the viper's nest :(

Gemsy you're argument is really pointless. Like I said, I've worked with over 800 disabled people over the last 10 years not a single one has ever had a problem with people without disabilities using the accessible toilets if they have double buggies/desperate DCs etc. What makes your argument more valid than theirs when they're are the ones who are being inconvenienced?

Your profile is open and I assume that the picture of the lady is of you? Unless you have children in their fifties?

Sorry marmalade, I just got over-excited seeing a reasonable post

Gemsy - and your point? A lady with 8 month old twins should not go to a certain place because her double buggy doesn't fit in the toilets. And yet she shouldn't go into the disabled toilet on the off chance that a person with a disability and incontinence problems might need to use it at the exact same time! Get a grip.

IN THEIR FIFTIES?

DO YOU MEAN I LOOK 50?

[hyperventilates]

Noooo, I was just trying to lighten the 'ere.

But since I've been certified a bona fide fucking twat for doing so, I shall stop bothering

Vive le toilet misusers!

PMSL Boys- did you interview every single one? Many disabled people get irked when non disabled people use the facilities intended to make their life easier- regardless of how many you have worked with.

MmeLindt - you do NOT look 50 from your photo! (low blow Marmalade!)

No missmyoldname - you were telling me what I should do in my situation. I'm just reiterating that people's situations aren't always clear or obvious.

The lady may possibly have had a condition which makes her disinhibited and unable to repress anger in a way that you would find socially acceptable. She might not be aware of how to modify language in front of children. Although many physically disabled people have no learning disability, some do. So it is unfair to judge her from this story in my opinion.

As far as using disabled loos, it sounds like we need a mn campaign for child friendly loos if it has not been done already?

What's wrong with being 50?!

marmalade unfortunately I couldn't even get to a sink, as Tesco had made both their toilet and baby change doorways too narrow for my very modest Maclaren double.

And no I can't afford a new buggy
And I couldn't sit two babies on my lap

I guess I could have asked a Tesco employee to babysit for me but I'm not sure they'd have been allowed to...

Oh, ok. You are forgiven.

[cancels the botox treatment]

Fuck. That gave me a shock. You made me swear. A LOT.

Nothing wrong with being 50. When you are 50.

Not when you are a young and spritely 38. [skips]

Shop online? As those who moan merry hell about no parent and toddler spaces are always told?

Our local shops have excellent child-friendly loos. They're the size of a disabled loo, just within the usual loos. So I just use those.

Yeah so I don't know why I'm even on here. I have no loo problems.

Oh I don't think anyone suggested calling her a bitch was ok. Just bizarre that people think they're not allowed to use disabled loos. Maybe you shouldn't use any public loo just in case someone more desperate is in the queue.

You have to have a disabled loo in a business. The number of wheelchair users as % of the population is tiny. There is no defination as to who can and can't use a disbabled loo and no policing or enforcement of it. It's up to the business whether they want to use a radar loo or what make/ style of sign they want to put up. I don't think it's about consideration, it's just one of those things people like to row about.

Actaully gemsy I did interview them, I was working on a project called MyLife which was assessing quality of life across a huuuge range of outcomes for disabled adults.