to use the disabled toilet in this situation?

[dolldaggabuzzbuzz]

I took mine and my sister's DCs for a nice day out to the cinema. There was just me and 4 kids aged between 3 and 5. After we bought our tickets I took them to the Ladies toilet, they were all engaged and there were a few people waiting.

I decided not to wait and took the DCs out to the disabled toilet as there was no one using or waiting for it. When we had all finished we were washing our hands when someone tried the door, one of the DCs had unlocked it and this woman in a wheelchair came in with her partner, I said I won't be a minute. She glared at me and muttered some things.

I was really embarrassed that I had been caught out using the disabled toilet and I wanted to apologise to the lady for keeping her waiting (for less than a minute!) but she was really, really angry. The DCs ran out in opposite directions and I quickly said sorry to the lady and as I walked off she screamed "Bitch!" at me. I never turned back to look at her. I don't think the DCs noticed anything!

I was so upset I couldn't get it out of my head throughout the film, and it ruined my day. I don't think what I did was that bad. I thought that woman was really horrible. AIBU?

Very good post Mrsdo, I completely agree.

Car park "Disabled Spaces" clearly say "For Disabled People Only" and I think you can be fined/clamped for using them if you aren't disabled.

Disabled Toilets do not say this, so I assume it is ok to use them.

Wow! Thanks everyone for your replies. I have read all of them before posting. It does seem that most MNers agree that I don't deserve to be shouted and sworn at by a stranger for using the disabled toilet whether you considered me reasonable or not for doing so.

As a healthy and able-bodied person I do not make a habit of using accessible toilets for the hell of it, nor do I make a habit of taking 4 young DCs out for the day on my own (thank goodness!). And as for biting off more than I can chew, I can cope perfectly well with taking 4 young DCs for a day at the cinema Gemsy68

I hadn't actually thought about what would happen if one of us should need to go to the loo TBH, this is something that I would consider in future if I should ever be crazy enough to do it again.

Using the accessible toilet did seem like a good idea at the time, no-one was using it. I did apologise to the lady for 'keeping her waiting' - even though she had just turned up a minute before and opened the door!

Nobody was inconvenienced! Nobody wet or soiled themselves! I just had a wee fgs! But I had a really horrible day because a woman who does not know me was horrible to me and called me a bitch! Thanks again MNers.

Oh lord.
Most people are reasonable.
If anyone has a reasonable need to use the disabled loo - maybe you have a small child about to crap themselves. Or you are about to throw up. Or it is a shared facility for baby change. All fair enough.

If however you are just using it because you can't be arsed to wait a while then you are just being a twat really.
We can all think of good excuses, but still just being a twat really. Like the people who push to the front of queues.

If that is who you are, fair enough. But all the excuses are a bit pathetic really. Just fess up that you don't leave it available for those who may need it because fundamentally you don't really care.

Altinkum, sorry I don't understand your post (sleep deprived, poorly baby) but my post was aimed at Gemsy and nothing to do with the thread really. I was trying to point out that just because the 800 or so disabled people I have interviewed all said they have no issue with disabled toilets being used by others when necessary that doesn't make my story "convenient", just the truth.

Gemsy, see above. I'm not bumping the numbers to validate my argument. If you like I'll pm you a link to the research when the results are published i the summer.

I've had similar disapproving looks when I have emerged from a disabled toilet with my two under two's when I've been in there changing their nappies! Its not my fault that that's where the baby change facilities are. Plus the fact they are the only toilets you can get a pushchair into! I'm not leaving my babies outside a toilet while I go in if I'm on my own. It's all about tolerance - I would never park in a disabled bay - even though it makes me seethe when I see some blue badge holders get out of their cars and sprint into the shops (save them for those who really do need them), but yes I will use a disabled toilet if I'm desperate and they are empty, so just shoot me now!

Rita - you make damn sure you take your sling out with you - both slings preferably! I would feel quite panicky thinking that I had something with me that might make something I need inaccessible - so if I had to choose that I would definitely take a plan B. One of the reason I feel so strongly that people with wheelchairs (who do not have the choice) should not be inconvenienced.

Gemsy it is not up to wheelchair users to decide whether it's ok for a non wheelchair user to use the loo. It is not their loo? It doesn't matter whether people say wheelchair users are ok with it or hate it it is still not their decision.

Re disabled parking, the waters are muddied by controlled parking zones, the rules of Which are legally set by central and local gov which do have blue badge user only bays and this is only for bb holders legally.

However on private property (supermarket, office) there is no legal definaition and it is up to the owner to decide if they want to enforce non bb holders in these bays. It's also up to you if you get a fine and want to challenge it on the basis it's not legally enforceable- they are, let's not forget, a business, not the police.

So I need to get some slings, put both babies in slings and carry them so I can pee? How does that work??

better than a chair you can't get through the toilet door, I should imagine.

Like I've said, I've often done it both ways, singly, so doing it both together would not be much more difficult when necessary. How do you manage at home?

OFG sake MsScarlett are you serious?

If so Rita just ignore her, she is being ridiculous. Noone should judge you for taking a buggy into a disabled loo.

I don't understand what you are suggesting I do with slings - one on my back and one on my front? That's 40+lbs of baby How do I even sit on the loo with a child on my back?

At home I just leave them where they are.

QuickLookBusy - if I saw someone getting two babies out of a buggy and into slings in order to use the loo when there was a free disabled toilet I would think they'd gone mad

"How do you manage at home?"

I hate this phrase, home is a 9/10 a safe place, a place where my kids can come in with me, or I can leave them alone safe, where they wont run off, or run their hand under hot water, or be a nuisance to the other users of the facility, or at worse a stranger gave my little boy a sweetie (really bad for him) or walked away with him etc.. (yes its a low risk however its still a risk).

you cant compare a outside environment to that of the home environment.

Me too Rita, although you could always balance one of your DC on your head. Bet you hadn't thought of that one!

OOOOOOOHHHH! My favourite discussion. Of course you were sensible to use the disabled toilet. I would have in your circumstances and wouldn't feel bad about it either. If a disabled person really couldn't possibly manage to wait for 1 minute then they wouldn't have been out in public in the first place, taking the risk that another disabled person had been in the toilet, or that it had been out of order, or that they would have had to find a key etc etc. I think this argument that any able bodied person using an empty disabled toilet is possibly causing someone to soil themselves is utter bollocks!

On another note, my DH says he saw some sensible parking spaces the other day that said Disabled only spaces or if full. The number of times we have driven round and round our local shopping centre car park looking for a space, while there are numerous disabled bays laying empty on every floor, it is apparent that they are underused. I don't buy into this argument that we should be grateful for our able bodies and that all able people should put up and shut up.

I was trying to help, actually. I assumed you would already have some slings. As I've said, I've used the loo with DD on my knee many times, or on my front in the sling, or on my back, or on my hip, and fast asleep, until well past 8 months (and well past 40lbs). Sensibly, the best thing to do is leave them in the buggy, but you said you didn't want to do that, so I gave you an option I've used many times, just not with twins.

No, the sensible thing was to use the accessible disabled toilet.

Juggling one baby is a very different prospect to juggling two. Even a toddler and a baby is very different to two small babies.

Indeed. But when I'm looking after several I tend to cross the one on my back off the list because I don't even notice they are there! Perhaps that is affecting my judgement. I am astonished you have never used your sling or had to wee with a baby on your knee, especially having two.

I have never used a disabled persons toilet, and would not, but I accept I have never had the experience of pushing a buggy.

I don't buy into this argument that we should be grateful for our able bodies

Well I dearly hope to god you never have to find this out. What a pitiful vile comment.

This thread is hilarious

Oh dear Gemsy.

Have you got nothing better to do?

yeah reading how selfish people are is sooooooo funny

I know Maisy.

people just won't let go

Really? I think it is quite sad and mean spirited all round.