to use the disabled toilet in this situation?

[dolldaggabuzzbuzz]

I took mine and my sister's DCs for a nice day out to the cinema. There was just me and 4 kids aged between 3 and 5. After we bought our tickets I took them to the Ladies toilet, they were all engaged and there were a few people waiting.

I decided not to wait and took the DCs out to the disabled toilet as there was no one using or waiting for it. When we had all finished we were washing our hands when someone tried the door, one of the DCs had unlocked it and this woman in a wheelchair came in with her partner, I said I won't be a minute. She glared at me and muttered some things.

I was really embarrassed that I had been caught out using the disabled toilet and I wanted to apologise to the lady for keeping her waiting (for less than a minute!) but she was really, really angry. The DCs ran out in opposite directions and I quickly said sorry to the lady and as I walked off she screamed "Bitch!" at me. I never turned back to look at her. I don't think the DCs noticed anything!

I was so upset I couldn't get it out of my head throughout the film, and it ruined my day. I don't think what I did was that bad. I thought that woman was really horrible. AIBU?

Some people are blinkered? If others are in a queue to use the toilets it seems to be a bit of a give away doesnt it- ergo they acknowledge they are abled bodied and dont need to use the disabled loo.

Oh dear again.

Your last comment just sums you up Spoc. Your poor bladder, their not so poor lack of a leg. Woe is you.

Agree with Mr Spoc, many people who work in newly designed health related or council buildings find all toilets meet disabled specifications. As employers in this sector we put disabled signs on the door to let people with a disability know that the toilet is suitable for someone in a wheelchair or with mobility problems to access.
I find it strange that some people believe that able bodied people should never use toilets with these signs on them. At my last place of work I would never have been able to go to the loo. It isn't like a disabled parking space. I suspect some people are used to disabled parking spaces being for the exclusive use of people with badges and presumed the same applied to toilets with the same sign on them. It doesn't, it just means the toilets meet particular legal specifications.

"more like lack of brains and do not realise the true nature of these toilets."

I don't know what the law is but it seems like basic good manners to not use the disabled toilet unless you need to (and by need I mean people with mobility issues, continence problems or other medical need). Its not to do with being thick.

No you were not being unreasonable.

Threads like these make me wish MN had an option for creating polls!

I sometimes use disabled toilets:

1. They're usually the only place to change a nappy, and I am NOT going to lay my baby on the floor of a non-disabled toilet and then kneel to change her.
2. They're usually the only toilet where I can fit me, DD in her buggy, and young DS.
3. When heavily pregnant and the queue for other toilets is a mile long - IMO this qualifies you for priority over just about any toilet, especially if it's not your first baby

I also think that if you're looking after 4 under 5's this is a justifiable reason. Or if your post-natal pelvic floor is screaming at you and there's a huge queue.

Disabled toilets are essential for people with disabilities, of course that goes without saying. And it's brilliant that their special status (I mean 'status' of the toilets) means the people who use them often don't have to wait terribly long to go. But, as lots of people have said already, some people without legal disabled status have more urgency than people with. It would be silly and wrong for them to risk wetting themselves so as to avoid using an empty disabled cubicle.

The woman who shouted at the OP was definitely out of order, especially having used that language. She was probably feeling territorial because the OP and children all looked like they weren't disabled (so ironic since disability can't always be seen ), and possibly because she's encountered lots of people using disabled loos with no reasonable justification. But it should have been quite obvious that a party of 5 couldn't all squeeze into a non-disabled cubicle, shouldn't it?!

2rebecca- just to question your earlier point? Why do you think people queue for the regular toilets and not the disabled ones?

Agree Wine.

But theres not many of those good manners thingy majigs around anymore.

Why would they have had to squeezed into one cubicle? Last time I went public toilets with children some of them went into their own cubicles/waited outside for others to finish and GUESS WHAT- nobody spontaneously combusted/got abducted by peedos in speedos/aliens

Can we have a parent and toddler thread tomorrow please OP?

I think as shown here alot of people believe able bodied people are not allowed to use toilets with disabled signs on them.

Oh there is one ferret- amazingly people on that thread are saying 'but disabled car parking spaces are needed' though! Stuff the toilets, let the disabled people wee/poo themselves, so long as they can park! Strange.

No one has actually answered myself or Rebecca and suggested what we should do when every toilet in our workplace has the disabled logo on the door? I have asked this in the past and not got an answer there either. It's not black and white.

Sigh. Oh, Gemsy. There is more to life than worrying about paedophiles. When you're having a wee it's always helpful to be able to see whether the 4 YOUNG CHILDREN you are in charge of are running around creating havoc. That way you're less likely to shout for discipline, charge at the cubicle door and miss the bowl.

Yanbu.

Again to you Gem: "let the disabled people wee/poo themselves" - yes, that's exactly what people are saying on this thread.

Thats your choice to take 4 YOUNG CHILDREN to the cinema though isnt it? And if they are not old enough/well behaved enough to wait outside then why take them out together? Should people with no choice about their disability be inconvenienced due to someone making such an unwise decision?

Gwen, when the only toilets available are the ones that say they are accessible for disabled people then you use them, if you have an alternative like the normal bog standard ones then you use them and not the ones for the disabled.
No its not black and white, its about respect and commonsense.

Maybe 2Rebecca its because they have manners and dont put themselves before others who need it more? Has that ever occured to you? If disabled toilets were designed for everyone in all places why are there only a couple or maybe on disabled toilet and lots of regular ones?

To suggest that people who use disabled toilets on occasion are thick, ill mannered, have a sense of entitlement, lack morality, are some how lacking in compassion as has been suggested in this thread is daft. It's not as if the OP sprinted in there in front of wheel chair lady, flicking a v-sign. If there is no queue and you are quick, just a quick in and out, and no one is inconvenienced what's the big deal? It's just a (big) toilet for goodness sake!

Er, not my choice, no: it was the OP's. But I'm not disabled and if I had someone shout "bitch" at me because I took my two children into the disabled toilet I would be extremely angry.

slightlymad - I don't think you've read Gwen's posts properly. She said there are NO non-disabled toilets available.

Gemsy83 - a lack of leg does not mean you need the toilet more than I.

I little story to warm you up. I was in the Parachute Regiment and served in Iraq 2003. Two of my mates lost theirs legs on a land mine. (1 had his left leg blown off the other had his right).

1st went to buy some new shoes, the store assistant asked if he wanted the remaining shoe, He asked what was he meant to do with it, he has one leg. At that point the 2nd person came in and said, nice shoes all have the right one.

The point is they still had a sense of humour and see themselfes as the same as before.

I think the urgency with which a particular person needs to use the toilet has nothing to do with their need for a specially designed disabled toilet. Disabled toilets are designed so people with mobility problems and in wheelchairs can use them. These people may or may not need rapid access to a toilet because they have bladder urgency or irritability.
People with bladder irritability or urge incontinence are often able bodied in other ways and don't need an extra large cubicle etc.
People with a stoma need a sink in the room but also don't normally need hand grabs etc.
Probably what venues where queuing for toilets is likely to happen need is plenty of normal toilets, an appropriate number of toilets with disabled access for those with mobility problems or who require a sink in the cubicle but which can be used by anyone if no-one with those problems there and a toilet with priority for those who need to use the toilet quickly and can't queue. This category could include young children as well as those with bladder irritability.
Again if no-one else is in this toilet anyone else should be able to use it, but priority should be given to those saying they need this toilet.
Having toilets lying empty for hours whilst people queue for other toilets is madness though.