to use the disabled toilet in this situation?

[dolldaggabuzzbuzz]

I took mine and my sister's DCs for a nice day out to the cinema. There was just me and 4 kids aged between 3 and 5. After we bought our tickets I took them to the Ladies toilet, they were all engaged and there were a few people waiting.

I decided not to wait and took the DCs out to the disabled toilet as there was no one using or waiting for it. When we had all finished we were washing our hands when someone tried the door, one of the DCs had unlocked it and this woman in a wheelchair came in with her partner, I said I won't be a minute. She glared at me and muttered some things.

I was really embarrassed that I had been caught out using the disabled toilet and I wanted to apologise to the lady for keeping her waiting (for less than a minute!) but she was really, really angry. The DCs ran out in opposite directions and I quickly said sorry to the lady and as I walked off she screamed "Bitch!" at me. I never turned back to look at her. I don't think the DCs noticed anything!

I was so upset I couldn't get it out of my head throughout the film, and it ruined my day. I don't think what I did was that bad. I thought that woman was really horrible. AIBU?

Add message | Report | Message poster BristolJim Wed 06-Apr-11 16:18:43
The issue is Gemsy, who is to say they shouldn't?

The toilet operators? The law? Disabled rights groups? You? Me?

I think they should be able to, you think they shouldn't. The toilet operators don't have a disabled only policy, it is not against the law, so again, who is to say they shouldn't?

Normal, decent human beings should say people shouldn't use a facility for their own convenience when it is intended for the use of those who genuinely need it to be available.

Well said Kungfu. A voice of reason in a sea of self centred buggers.

I am legally allowed to sit down on the bus and allow pregnant women, elderly people and people using crutches to stand. Doesn't make it acceptable to do so.

Good point. Irrelevant, mind. What if the bus is full but there are no pregnant women, elderly people or people using crutches?

So if the sign has accessible or pictures of other users on then anyone can use it? if the sign is just the disability sign then it is a disabled loo for the disabled?

I have yet to see an accessible sign only the disabled ones.

I would use a disabled toilet if I was on my own with DS aged 2.7 and there was no mother&child facility . You may call me whatever you like, I tried squeezing him in a cubicle with me and ended up in a mess (don't ask )
I think OP is a respectful person who meant no harm and did what she thought was best in that situation. She apologised too.
I also think it's quite possible that the disabled lady could have some mental issues as well, as someone else pointed out.
So just an unfortunate set of circumstances - nothing to fret about imo

Just let the women with prams and toddlers struggle on then, even if there is a free toilet where they can all safely use the loo, fucking madness.

When you are on a bus you can see if there are pregnant women, elderly people or people using crutches. When you are behind a locked door whilst 5 people pee and wash there hands you can't see if there is a disabled person who needs the loo so you use a bit of empathy and decide to use the facilities provided for you, whatever your entitlement is to use the only facilities that a disabled person can use.

Of course anyone can use a disabled toilet. It is nonsense to have people queuing up when there is a suitable toilet free.

Disabled toilets are there as a facility for disabled people (and a good thing too) but they are not there solely for their use.

I speak as someone who is not disabled but unfortunately now post menopause has "urgency" issues (do those pelvic floor exercises girls!).

My need to use the loo may well be much greater than someone who is wheelchair-bound.

Male toilets are for males
Female toilets are for females
Disabled toilets are for the disabled
If women where to use the mens, most of the men would be upset.
If men where to use the females there would be an outcry by the women and cries of pervert.
If non-disabled people were to use the disabled toilets the disabled have to put up and shut up.
Gotta love equality!!!

I agree.

I had an accident 2 and a half years ago which meant I needed to use a wheelchair for 3 or 4 months. Prior to that I would on occasions nip in a disabled loo like the OP. I would NEVER do that now - even if there was no one around at that time - I just wouldn't. Life in a wheelchair is fucking horrendous and I thank my lucky stars and I am out of it now.

While she was BU calling you a bitch - life is SUCH hard work in a wheelchair, I can quite understand someone snapping as yet again someone is using the only toilet a wheelchair bound person can use.

Gemsy83 - Oh dear again. I live in one of the poshest parts of UK and their is a very nice weatherspoons (yes it is a chain and some do have chavs going) but they are all different. They do nice breakfast in their very cheap you should try one if you could pull your head out of your arse for long enough.

Add message | Report | Message poster BristolJim Wed 06-Apr-11 16:25:24
I am legally allowed to sit down on the bus and allow pregnant women, elderly people and people using crutches to stand. Doesn't make it acceptable to do so.

Good point. Irrelevant, mind. What if the bus is full but there are no pregnant women, elderly people or people using crutches?

Um. If the bus is full and there are none of those people then either I won't have a seat to give up or there won't be anyone for me to give it up. No idea what that question is about.

And no, it's not irrelevant. It's about courtesy and consideration for those whose needs might be more pressing than yours. Without that consideration needing to be enforced by law.

YABU to use the disabled toilet. The fact there is nearly always a special snowflake ABP in the disabled toilet is a major problem when planning any trips out.

But of course SWBU to abuse you.

PMSL @ 'I should try Wetherspoons'
Maybe I should also try using facilities I am not entitled to and making life harder for others. I'd rather keep my head firmly up my arse in my world thanks.

BristolJim actully the bus analogy is a very good one.

"What if the bus is full but there are no pregnant women, elderly people or people using crutches?" With your mentality, you sit until your stop come, then get up and leave the bus. Tough luck everyone else.

actually re-write BristolJim actully the bus analogy is a very good one.

"What if the bus is full but there are no pregnant women, elderly people or people using crutches?" With your mentality, you sit until your stop comes (even if they get on the bus), then get up and leave the bus. Tough luck everyone else.

nijinsky
type1
type 2

Type 1 diabetes is not a lifestyle choice. Let's just get that one straight, shall we, people?

Apologies for hijack, OP, it really pisses me off when people get it wrong, because they then assume that all diabetics are fat and lazy, and only have themselves to blame.

I have a problem with this, because all of the toilets where I work are disabled ones. Yes we have disabled visitors but where are the 400 staff supposed to go? Are we supposed to cross our legs? Or should I commute the hour and a quarter home when I need a wee?

Yes, I bet Bristoljim thinks the same as the people on our bus every day who sit in the most convenient seat to the door and watch me staggering along carrying my disabled DD past them, trying not to fall over. What a sense f entitlement I have

Disabled toilets are toilets that are suitable for disabled people to use. That doesn't exclude able bodied people from using them. I have worked in areas were all the toilets were "disabled toilets". I often use the disabled toilet if there is a queue for the other toilets and that one is free. It's a misconception that they are for the exclusive use of disabled people, although most people would give them priority..
Our library only has "disabled" toilets.

If there is a queue for the other toilets its because the people in the queue have the brains you lack, they are waiting for toilets they are able to use.

exactly 2rebecca, some people are just blinkered, the toilets are designed to make it easier for people in wheel chairs but for use by all (unless with the key). There are many places now (who have limited space) who only have this one toilet. It is catering for all needs.

Yes I will be considerate to people, allow people infront of me if their need is greater than mine. Just because some one may be missing a leg does not mean they have toilet issues to the sanme degree as me.

Gemsy83 - really gemsy, more like lack of brains and do not realise the true nature of these toilets.