to use the disabled toilet in this situation?

[dolldaggabuzzbuzz]

I took mine and my sister's DCs for a nice day out to the cinema. There was just me and 4 kids aged between 3 and 5. After we bought our tickets I took them to the Ladies toilet, they were all engaged and there were a few people waiting.

I decided not to wait and took the DCs out to the disabled toilet as there was no one using or waiting for it. When we had all finished we were washing our hands when someone tried the door, one of the DCs had unlocked it and this woman in a wheelchair came in with her partner, I said I won't be a minute. She glared at me and muttered some things.

I was really embarrassed that I had been caught out using the disabled toilet and I wanted to apologise to the lady for keeping her waiting (for less than a minute!) but she was really, really angry. The DCs ran out in opposite directions and I quickly said sorry to the lady and as I walked off she screamed "Bitch!" at me. I never turned back to look at her. I don't think the DCs noticed anything!

I was so upset I couldn't get it out of my head throughout the film, and it ruined my day. I don't think what I did was that bad. I thought that woman was really horrible. AIBU?

No I didn't misread it, as I said if there are no NON disabled toilets available you use them if there are normal bog standard ones then you use those instead, as where she works the only toilets that are available are the ones stating they are accesible to the disabled and no alternatives then of course she uses the accessible ones.

Why would you be angry? You know as a non disabled person using the toilet is not right- why moan about the reception you get for it?
MrSpoc yes disabled people still have a sense of humour, who said they didnt? Still doesnt mean its in anyway right for non disabled people to make their life any harder than it already is for instance using the only disabled loo available somewhere.

2Rebecca we've been through this a thousand times already. Someone may have a stoma/incontinence etc etc. What has that got to do with someone with NO medical need who admits they cannot be bothered to wait using a disabled toilet? Please tell?

Gemsy83 - Such blatent misogyny from you. Women with 4 children should stay at home, leave their babies outside cubicles where their mothers can't see them.

You have also used called women princesses, entitled ect for wanting to keep their children close by, and anyone who uses a disabled toilet has no brain.......I think you need to check yourself.

The reason many venues just have 1 or 2 disabled toilets and more smaller ones is because disabled toilets cost more to design and build and take up more space.
There is a requirement upon employers to provide toilets meeting disabled specifications.
From the employers point of view it is just a toilet suitable for disabled people, not for their exclusive use.

Who said women OR men should stay at home? I said if they cannot cope with the demands of taking young children to the toilets maybe they should stay at home. Having children does not warrant using disabled facilities, I think you will find that is my point, no checking required.

Sorry but YANBU .... She only had to wait a minute, you had 4 kids .... You could have been disabled as disabilities aren't always blazingly obvious .... The other woman was well out of order.

I don't think we are ever going to agree on this Gemsy83. You believe toilets with disabled signs are for the exclusive use of people with disabilities, I believe they are suitable for people with disabilities and priority should be given to people with disabilities but if the toilet is vacant anyone can use it.

Oh dear Gemsy

What is your problem?

Here you go

OP YANBU

So if you are in the toilet designed for disabled people to use and someone who needs it comes in and has to wait because you are there- how can they have priority?

You're right, Gemsy. For me to use a disabled loo is "not right". Next time DD is wet or soiled, I shall place her on the floor, headfirst by a dirty toilet and change her nappy there. That makes so much more sense, doesn't it?

Gemsy83 - my point is they have a normal bowl where as i have a very irritating bowl, when i have to go, well i have to go. they would not dream of me waiting on them to use the loo first of having to que in the normal mens loo. Why should i.

Ok, I am promised I would not get involved in another one. But I cannot stay out of it.

First.

YABU unreasonable to use the disabled toilet because you could not be bothered waiting.

The woman was unreasonable to call you a bitch.

There are very very few reasons that i would find acceptable for using the disabled toilet. They certainly do not include:

• having a baby in pushchair. I managed to leave my DC outside of the loos for years, have a very very quick wee. I even managed this with a toddler and a baby.

• needing to change a nappy - unless it is clearly marked as a disabled/nappy change toilet

• having several children

• the disabled toilets being "nicer" ffs. That is not why they are there

• DHs using disabled toilets to save taking DDs into Gents - get a grip. Up to about 6 or 7yo take DD into Gents, afterwards, send her into ladies. Unless there is something going on in Gents that I don't know about, why should this be an issue?

• I was only in there a minute - if everyone uses this excuse, then the disabled toilet will be constantly engaged.

IMO, there are so many things that people with disabilities have to fight for, that the least we ablebodied people can do is ensure that if they need a loo, there is one available.

They have priority because they won't have to wait in a long queue and will get to use the toilet as soon as I come out, plus the fact that they require a disabled access toilet doesn't mean they have an irritable bladder.

Gemsy83 - oh dear, if it was free and you use it and while you are there some who is desabled comes along then they wait like the rest of us.

I'm 8 months PG and will use the disabled loo if I'm out with DD (3) - we both can't fit into a normal cubical. Also I would expect DP to take DD to disabled loo if there are no family toilets available.

I don't see anything wrong with it - I've never kept anyone waiting. If I did I would apologise but still feel entitled to use them. If someone swore at me like that I'd be very unhappy about it.

Oh fgs irritable bladder, bad toe whatever excuses will people come up with next to deny disabled people the right to use facilities designed for them with the dignity and convenience they deserve.

I would have pushed the rude cow down the nearest slope!

Wow 8 months pg- another one...keep them coming

Im inclined to think we have an influx of trolls posting on this thread. It feels better to believe this than people really being this ignorant and utterly self absorbed in reality.

I would say that being heavily pregnant could constitute a medical need tbh. If you're bladder is struggling that is.

A 3yo can wait outside the cubicle though - you can see their feet under the door easily enough and maintain a conversation if you're worried they'll do a runner/be abducted. This is what I did with ds (who I'd prefer not to see me change a tampon, for example, so rarely came into a cubicle with me).

Gemsy

I think you're the troll, because you seem to be the one who is pissed off about it and looking for a fight

you're bladder? your bladder

Gemsy83 - fuck off so someone with a bladder problem (not disabled but i bet i could get registered if i pushed) is no more entitled to use it compaired to someone who has no bladder issues but cant here? Dick

if I thought that it truly was a case of a pregnant woman (or any woman for that matter) being so desperate to use the toilet because of a temporary illness, then I would accept that as a reason to use the disabled loo.

Sadly, I think that pregnant women use it as an excuse to use the disabled loo cause they don't want to wait.