to use the disabled toilet in this situation?

[dolldaggabuzzbuzz]

I took mine and my sister's DCs for a nice day out to the cinema. There was just me and 4 kids aged between 3 and 5. After we bought our tickets I took them to the Ladies toilet, they were all engaged and there were a few people waiting.

I decided not to wait and took the DCs out to the disabled toilet as there was no one using or waiting for it. When we had all finished we were washing our hands when someone tried the door, one of the DCs had unlocked it and this woman in a wheelchair came in with her partner, I said I won't be a minute. She glared at me and muttered some things.

I was really embarrassed that I had been caught out using the disabled toilet and I wanted to apologise to the lady for keeping her waiting (for less than a minute!) but she was really, really angry. The DCs ran out in opposite directions and I quickly said sorry to the lady and as I walked off she screamed "Bitch!" at me. I never turned back to look at her. I don't think the DCs noticed anything!

I was so upset I couldn't get it out of my head throughout the film, and it ruined my day. I don't think what I did was that bad. I thought that woman was really horrible. AIBU?

What about people who are disabled as a result of a lifestyle choice (Eg strokes caused by smoking or drinking, type 1 diabetes, the late Christopher Reeve). Should people disabled by random chance get precedence? What about people who are only in a wheelchair temporarily?

I believe that the OP was being (slightly) U to use the disabled loo, I'm at the grown adults on this thread who would use the disabled loos merely because they CBA to wait, and I'd like to think that some people reading it will try harder in future to avoid using the disabled facilities. But the "lifestyle choice" line will never win you any support on MN - in fact it's probably the single simplest way to make enemies.

Clearly BristolJim is just stirring as there are never queues for mens toilets.

Oh, look, it's half term.

just to add: dh has left side hemiplegia, which means left side of the body is weakened or paralized, he was able to train muscles to take weight, so can walk (arm is totally non-performing), but inside muscles like bladder, are not trainable, so if he needs the loo, it is pronto. he also had damage in frontal lobe of his brain, which resulted in panic every time something that is not under control. you cannot see all this, but boy, I know what it means to him in his day to day.... close disabled loo is a godsent and we choose places we go regularly basis this access

Thank you mumsnet for again letting me know that pedophiles, child abductors and toddlers wandering off is just media hysteria and has never actually happened in the real world ever. Thank god I was getting woried.

The OP was there with small children who were not her own. I would be royally fucked off if someone took my young child out for the day and left them unsupervised at all for any length of time.

Oh and one last thing while I made the "life style" choice to have a child, the child didnt and shoud have all the same options as anyone else regarding safety and hygene. That means they have the right to be monitored at all times by their parents and in a perfect world maybe even have toilet that were accesible to them at their level.

what would you all do if the disabled people hadn't fought to get disabled toilets, yep, they weren't just built out of kindness, a lot of people would have put a lot of work in. why don't parents do the same and give up your time to fight for facility's for your dc's, rather than taking over ones meant for disabled people

altinkum as "well" as someone who is first told he will not recover and later "will not live institutionalized care". He is absolutely great. He was only 40 when this happened to him (and me). Thank you for asking!!

fgs leave, not live

Hi Fanjo. No queues for the gents? Been to many football or rugby matches? Tried going for a piss at half time? Ever waded through ankle deep piss to get there?

Believe me, it's either pissing in the sink or using the disabled toilets.

Oh, and it's not half-term. Do try and keep up.

god some people do talk bollocks, do you really judge people on what kind of disabilitiey they have ffs

You were both BU.

You should not have used the facilities designed for disabled people just because there was a queue for the ladies, regardless of how many children you had with you, and I think you know this.

She should not have called you a bitch especially as she had no way of knowing if you really needed a disabled toilet - as it happens she was right in her assumptiont hat you did not, but you cannot rely on that.

But really, the situation should not have happened. Bad call. Use the appropriate facilities next time.

In this case piss in the sink Jim. ;) Unless you are a laydee.

Its half term in quite a few places, actually, BristolJim, do think beyond your own front door/need for a pee

I think that if all the abled toilets are full there is no problem using the disabled loo. She was probably only waiting a few minutes

bemybebe why can't a laydee piss in the sink..

Shoesytwoesy - as already said, the toilets are NOT exclusive to disabled people. they are for Everyone unless otherwise stated / locked. even then the establishments who own them will unlock them for NON - Disabled people with a genuine need.

I have a radar key and look perfectly healthy. I have had extensive bowel surgery and only need to use the key when I am unwell (I needed it straight after the operation, for at least the first year). I think the rationale for the radar toilets is slightly different, it means there is always one fairly close by and open all hours (in cinemas it is providing accessible toilets to all people of all abilities) - so I don't think whatever interpretation of misuse you glean from their statement applies. I would have interpreted misuse as IV drug taking or sleeping in after a heavy night, for example.

To be honest, I would not use the disabled toilet unless I had to but I do consider someone able bodied who has a tummy bug, for example, or even who is just really desperate, to be in at least as much need as me. I don't consider the arbitrary medical classification as disabled to be as polarising as it is being implied here. Disability has a relative element, and in this case is revolves around the ability to use the normal toilet and the ability to wait in the queue (two separate problems). I really can't see why a condition that makes me unable to wait gives me priority over someone else who can't wait for whatever reason.

Hi Fanjo. I know it is, but you assumed it was half term round here, which it isn't.

Oh dear. For the sake of clarity, it was a rhetorical question, on the "lifestyle choice" point.

I always thought it would be anatomically very tricky, but now you are asking I should probably try.

YANBU - they are 'accessible toilets' for the use of anyone. Crazy for it to be empty when there is a queue elsewhere. Being in wheelchair does not majke it any less rude, or excusable for a person to describe you as a 'bitch' . And in any case, how did she know you or the DC were not disabled?

Sorry then Jim, I thought you were a half term troll, but you are clearly just an arse.