to think this should not be logged as a 'racist incident'?

[StarlightMcKenzie]

I'll try to give all the facts here so that it doesn't come out in drips but I'd appreciate any good quality advice how to handle this too.

My ds deliberately went up to a black girl at school and said 'chocolate face'.

My ds has ASD.

We have worked extremely hard with ds and the attributes of his ASD that affect him most are not behavioural, but social communication, reading emotions and facial expressions.

We have spent a couple of weeks getting ds to concentrate on people's faces and talk about the differences in them and how they are different.

We have been also working on the theme of 'looks like' or 'same as' i.e. yellow pen looks like a banana. Hand looks like a foot etc etc.

The school say they have to log the incident as a 'racial' incident, but my ds has no idea about races, and there was no racial intent, although I do not dispute that he meant what he said, or at the very least that the little girl had a face 'like' or 'same as' chocolate.

I am gutted to the core that my ds has his name in this 'log' and am really desperate for advice on what to do about it.

I do not for one second dispute that the teacher has to be seen to be doing the right thing, given that the girl in question may have told her parents of the incident, but surely this is a bit much.

I would also appreciate any guidance on what a school is likely to 'do' with such a log and what effect it might have on my ds.

Many thanks in advance.

oh yeah. See what you mean. i.e. the low lifes you have in here that my son has to mingle with and yet you deliberately choose his precious innocent head to record an 'incident'.

Yeah, no, that probably wouldn't go down too well. I meant it in a rational way, not a judgemental way.

This is one of the most terrifyuingly sinister things I have ever heard of happening in Education and believe me, I have borne witness to many.

Noone could put it better than Oncemai

'Next time the teachers or their assistants don't have time to change a book, help with buttons, look for a cardigan, remind them politely of what they do have time for. A little more time spent on holistic care and education and a little less on politically correct claptrap wouldn't go amiss in my opinion. Poor DS and poor you for having to put up with such utter nonsense.'

I am not an expert on these issues, but have a friend who works in equality and diversity for our local council. A few people have said on this thread that disability issues do not have the same standing as race. From discussions I have had with my friend, this is not the case. There is a pecking order in legal conflicts over different forms equality. Race and disability are at the top, followed by gender, with sexual orientation and religious belief below the others.

For an incident to be recorded as racist, it doesn't have to have a racist intent or be racist by some independent standpoint, it has to be perceived as racist by the person reporting it - be that one of the children, a classroom assistant, a teacher or a parent. It isn't about the child who said it - it is about the way the school manage it.

We cannot know the wider context of the situation. The school could have had a spate of such incidents, the girl may have been targeted many times, the school could have mismanaged incidents in the past, not reported things and been in trouble. The child could have picked up the phrase from another pupil. The school is not going to tell the OP about other incidents, anymore than they are going to tell a range of other parents what the OP's DS has said. So there may be many ways the school does or does not need to sort out what is happening, but it really isn't about the OP's son. For all any of us know, the incident could be being used to highlight inappropriate remarks from other kids and both the girl and the OP's son could be seen as vulnerable to picking up on the behaviour around them. We cannot know. It is really about the cumulative impact of such situations in one setting, not the individual incident.

I do not think any of this will be used as a way to focus on the behaviour of one child - the OP's son, although it is clearly distressing for her. I think it would be worth speaking to the LEA about exactly how they will use the information.

As for the child who was called gay and nothing was done, complain to the school. They do have to do something about it, and whether or not the child in question is gay or not is irrelevant to it being recorded as a homophobic incident.

OP I do not see why you are angry here. I would expect the little girl's mother to be more upset over her daughter being called 'chocolate face', innocently or not. Children should not go to school and be called names, innocently or otherwise.
I do accept it was an innocent remark, but that is inconsequential. This incident was logged because there was another party involved in that incident, the little girl. I can understand you feeling upset over the incident, but not once did I see any thoughts for the little girl's welfare, who you say is actually younger than your son .

'but not once did I see any thoughts for the little girl's welfare'

I can only assume then that you have not read the thread.

I spoke to the teacher today. She said the little girl didn't even register it as a personal comment, let alone a racist one.

The thing is, ds didn't 'call' her chocolate face. He 'said' chocolate face TO her. He doesn't have the skills to name call.

And for the poster who criticised him for being 'older' than the girl. His emotional age is 18 months, so in effect he is half her age.

lifechanger, i think part of the issue and a very important factor is that this boy is 4 years old and has asd. it is just not as simple as teaching him to be more sensitive, wether he be a toddler, child, adolescent or grown up.

making a slur against him very insulting and possibly damaging. the school can and should do all of the supporting and help to him and his class mates but the fact is this was not a racist incident and should not be deemed as such.

OP you are right to be upset about this. It is not really a racist incident, but an observation. What your ds did was no different than walking up to the other girl and simply saying "You are black".

I find people can get really het up about racism to the point that they get embarrassed even noting the phsical differences between people of different races. I spent a year in South Africa working with black and white children who played well together but were not afraid to note the physical differences between the two colours. In fact, since they had no bibs for sport, sometimes they used to play "Chocolate versus Milky" as it was easiest way of telling who was on which team.

If I were you I would speak to the school and request that this not be recorded as a racist incident. PS I am a teacher.