To have been a bit judgy about these people at a baptism?

[JaneS]

There was a baptism as part of the Sunday service this morning. A group of people came, dressed up in sort of posh party clothes, whom I've never seen at church before and who clearly weren't familiar with the structure of the service. Now, I can understand why you might as an occasional church-goer still have some attachment to baptism as a ceremony and want to go through with it, or you might feel it's a nice social occasion and a good opportunity to get dressed up. That is understandable. But AIBU to have felt a bit upset that these people chattered the whole way through the service - not just mum and dad quieting the baby, before you ask, but all of them chatting to each other and not even pretending to listen to the normal bits of the service? I suspect I am going to get flamed here, but would you feel a bit upset if this was your church that you took seriously?

What upset you -the fact they dressed up or they chatted?

People do tend to wear their "sunday best" for a church event like a baptism, but you would think they would have the respect to stay quiet during the service.

YANBU. Personally my children will never be baptised but that doesn't mean I would ever be so rude as to talk through a church service!

yes,its disrespectful

i used to teach sunday school,so i know vicar and regular church goers dont expect silence,but even so,a bit of effort would have been nice.

That's what bothers me valium - I have a bad feeling I can't separate out the two! I just felt sort of hurt and protective, as if they were looking down on us for being boring? I should say it's not a huge, happy-clappy church and some people who go are elderly or a bit dowdy (me, especially in the morning). It just felt as if they thought it was so obviously boring that no-one would mind if they chatted, if that makes sense?

I know, I am reading into it too much.

it can't be the first time tho LRD and doubt it will be the last

No, I wouldn't. What flavour church was it?

squeaky - see, this is where I know I am letting myself get judgy. To me, it wasn't 'sunday best', it was sexy party clothes.

I wasn't brought up to go to church, but it's common courtesy.

Fallen - it's bog standard C of E, but quite old-fashioned.

It's incredibly rude, insensitive and disrespectful, and I'm not surprised you're upset. I think it's very sad they behaved like that.

maybe its all they had?? i know what you mean tho

OP, I don't think you were. When DS was baptised a traveller child was being baptised at the same ceremony. It bothered me that I was there for a solemn occasion (as a baptism is meant to be) yet it was talked through, to the extent that I couldn't hear the priest at times and I and the Godparents had difficultly hearing and responding appropriately.

Tiffany, I'm sure it's not the first or the last time - certainly there have been other people whom I've only seen for the baptism and never again, and I didn't feel like this about any of them.

'Don't judge a book by its cover' and 'love thy neighbour' spring to mind

OP try not to let it bother you, they probably won't ever come back if it was really boring for them and if they do, well, you can get to know them and then ask them to keep the noise down!

No-one bats an eyelid at an off the shoulder wedding dress. I'd stick to being annoyed at the chatting, nit their lack if dress sense.

Ahhhhhh, I think I am getting the image here LRD... I am thinking big fat weddings and the like perhaps???

I hadn't thought it might be all they had. I don't think so though - it was expensive party clothes!

What are expensive party clothes? Perhaps they thought they looked smart?

Not their lack of dress sense, that should be. Bloody fat fingers, bloody iPhone.

I'm catholic, and we get loads of baptisms where people don't know the ropes. We brought some of our own when our DC were baptised . The people today were rude, but I think you are extrapolating a bit to them looking down. re the sexy outfits, you should have seen the faces of the congregation at the traveller baptism we had a while back. Yikes.

And you feel tbat way about the clothes because presumably they made it clear and you know they weren't in their 'Sunday best' for church but dressed for the party afterwards. As shown by the way they behaved. I suspect the clothes wouldn't have been an issue if they'd been involved in the service.

Yes, good advice valium. I know, I know ... I'm just letting my irritation out here, I think.

Btw, I got married in that church in an off-the-shoulder wedding dress, but I didn't turn up in 4 inch stilettos and a dress with a mini skirt and a lace-up back.

There, I said it. And it is judgy of me.

There was another lady who's obviously new, who was wearing a head covering; some people wear hats. It just felt as if, if they'd bothered to come even once before, they'd have seen what the church is like and maybe would have worn something else? Or if they'd had a look at the order of service beforehand they'd have known how long it was going to be instead of needing to keep fidgeting about it?