Teaching isn't compatible with parenting

[treehugga]

So you think there are short days and long holidays, well hollow laugh! Am I the only teaching 'widow'? My DP seems to spend all of his evenings and weekends working, which doesn't make me a smiley mummy this Mother's Day after yet another day of sole childcare while lessons get planned, reports written and whatever-else for the little darlings. Some mitigating points:

• when he's not working, he's usually great at domestic stuff and for this reason I count myself lucky
• he is a perfectionist
• I know one other teacher (who also works ridiculous hours) but maybe he's just avoiding family life.

So, put me straight, am I the only one or are there more?

As a teacher I never feel under appreciated, the only exception is on here. My local community, the students and their parents have a very high level of regard for teachers.

I never said you could not contribute, I said that there are a lot of teachers moaning about their hours because that is what the thread is about.

I do not think I am special. I do not even think my job is that difficult. I get paid for doing a job I love and consider myself very lucky. I just wish I did not have to work until midnight every evening. However maybe I worl those hours because I love what I do.

Thats great snoozes, neither does my DP thankfully. But on the whole I really think educator's are not appreciated for what they really contribute to society and how demanding their role's can be. For me, a good teacher goes into the profession out of serious dedication to what they have chosen to do and a want to contribute something to society and their pupils lives (note I say a good teacher).

Oh the good teachers comment was not a sneaky jab at you BTW, just read it back and thought you might think that

i may be a teacher but I'm with Curryspice. I get sick of teachers moaning about their long hours but I don't think our job is any harder than huge amounts of others at all. Plus it's fun.

i think it depends on the individual, number of years worked, how he/she is managed and the type school. it can be a very hard job with lots of paper work or some may beat it down to the basics and manage really well flying by the seat of thier pants. I think though that the best teachers are the ones that put more time/effort in.

LDNmum where did I say teaching wasn't important? Or difficult? Or stressful? I didn't say that snd I am damn sure it is all those things

What I did say is that teaching is not unique in requiring long hours and hard work. Many many jobs require longer hours, travel, being away from home

And yes, other jobs are stressful. And important. And many of them are worse paid than teaching

As an example, I cannot ever remember a thread of nurses moaning about how hard they work, even though I think you'll agree that their job is stressful, hard physically, often on shifts, and often badly paid. Yet every forum I go on, every phone in about teaching I listen to, there's teachers moaning about how hard they work

But we're answering the question! OP was asking "is teaching compatible with parenting".

Lots of teachers have replied "not as compatible as people think it is".

Should we all come on here and say "yes, it's easy. Home by 4 every day."?

I went to pick the boys up from school yesterday, for the first time this term (my term ended last week, slightly different dates to their school).
Comment from another mum that I am a "part-timer".

It's not uncommon.

I taught 3 subjects plus PSHE and Citizenship at KS3, and then my specialisation at KS4 and 5. I taught 600+ kids a week, so that was 300 books a week to mark, and I didn't do tick and flick.

I only saw some of those classes once a week, and when it was report time it was hell on wheels, especially when you might be teaching 6 Year 7 classes, so about 180-200 reports to write when my tutor group was included.

I did 60-70 hours a week usually.

I left to move abroad, and can't say I'd 'd want to go back f/t if we move back to UK.

Curryspice - yes, other jobs are hard, but teaching isn't just about marking and planning and delivering lessons; it's the emotional investment and the pastoral care that takes the time. We are not dealing with adults, but children, and that is hard. I was never as stressed in my previous job as I was when teaching and that was as a Community Charge and Council Tax officer dealing with the general public at court and attaching to their earnings.

I agree, hours are similar to any other job. I never moan about teaching hours or workload.

However, I honestly do feel that being at home with my 2 year old is loads easier than working (teaching), though. People think that's crazy but it's true. I teach young children. One baby/toddler compared with a class full of young children, all needing me emotionally as well as individually to meet their academic needs... it's loads easier to be at home (I wish I could afford to, but I do love my job, so all is well).

My good friend works in an office and says it's loads easier to be at work than it is to be at home. She works term time but says school holidays are hell with her dc and being at home with them for extended periods like I am with so many holidays (+ 10 week summer!) would make her crazy.

I love teaching. I love the children and the challenges that it brings. I love the planning and watching the children learn and grow and learning and growing professionally myself as well. Even though it is emotionally and physically exhausting, I love coming into work every single day. I also love that teaching means that I can think of being at home with my child as relaxing and fun and that I enjoy my large amount of time at home with my DS.

They are coming in any second, so I need to sign off now :)

I don't think teaching is necessarily harder or whatever than other professions. I do think, however, that teachers often feel the need to point out their hours and responsibilities in response to all those who still seem to think that we all go home at 3.30 just coz the kids do.

Curryspice. Of course teaching is not the only tough job. Absolutely nobody has said it is. However, I have absolutely never heard anyone saying that nurses don't work hard, apparently they are all marvellous angels. That is why teachers defend themselves. Plus, this is a thread about teacher workloads, so don't get your point .
Anyway, I am really pleased that so many here, say they love their job. I do too, classroom teaching, that is. However, I gave up the HoD role last year, after 16 years of it, because in my school, I just could not do it justice. I would rather concentrate on what matters to me, which is my lessons. The money was tiny, and the extra time was 1 hour per week. I now feel my time sis better spent. I think this is the key for the OP DH. You have to spend your time on what matters, otherwise you can easily do too much.

To be honest, both my parents were teachers and whilst I remember them being about when I was little it was mainly because they stayed up late doing all their school work after I'd gone to bed, often not being in bed before midnight most nights. Any one who says teaching has short hours needs a clip round the ear! Head of department is double the work load on top of that. If it helps, my folks were dead, dead against me becoming a teacher as it can have a massive impact of your mental health and family life!!

I give up!

What I'm saying (answering the OP) is that working FT in general is really hard with children. Teachers are not a special case, even though they think they are

We know that Curry. The point is that no one has said they are a "special case"! The OP is talking about teaching as that is what is affecting her situation, and people are answering her. It would be a bit weird if they all replied about the incompatibilty of working in law, when that was not her question. It is only you who is talking about special cases.

"Teachers are not a special case, even though they think they are"
Do we? Who says?
The OP asked if teaching was compatible with parenting presumably, as I just said, because the world and his wife thinks we have short hours. Numerous teachers have come on here to say, "no, it's not family-friendly," citing examples of why not, and you (curryspice) are using that to accuse us of thinking we're a special case.

I imagine that one of the great things about teaching is that you can do much of the marking and planning at home.

That seems to me much more family freindly than jobs where you physically cannot leave.

I assume you pointed your finger at the screen when you typed my name there clam :o

DH is a deputy head. It has it's great points for parents but it's incredibly irritating when the children are sick and DH just walks out the door w/o a second glance, assuming that private sector me can 'work from home' that day. Some days you would think he was running the Bank of England during a currency crisis for all the huffing and puffing that goes on. I've had to point out plenty of times: Lots of people are busy at work, not just teachers. We've also had the I'm a deputy head, might not be able to make that funeral etc. "Um, yes you will find a way round it."

But - there's no question the holidays are great and helpful to keeping our family life on track in many ways. But he also moans at me about how 'hard' it is for him to have so much time off and I can't participate. He is overall incredibly helpful around the house, but when he can't do something because of the school there is just no negotiation whatsoever, my job or whatever is going on elsewhere falls by the wayside.

"you can do much of the marking and planning at home"
Well, yes, in theory. But if anything comes up during teaching hours, e.g. funeral, hospital appointment for kids whatever, then you can hardly leave 30 kids unattended and nip off out.

And that's before we even start on term-time holidays. Why do you think schools get so hacked off about parents removing their kids for cheaper exotic holidays during term-time? Coz we can't do it ourselves, of course!

many hard jobs are emotionally and mentally demanding and encroach upon home life, not just teaching.except teachers get a break every 10weeks or so and longer holidays than most. so whilst i dont dispute teaching is demanding i dont think it is the only hard job.but it does have perks ,and yes i know teachers jump up and down thats is not all about holidays.but they are only public sector workers with those t&c

Also the big difference and bonus for the teaching breaks is that all your colleagues are off too. When I am on holiday (with notable exceptions like XMAS and NY) my colleagues and clients are around beavering away and sending the odd email. Stuff comes up that has to be dealt with. Sure DH has some work to do at the holidays but it's nothing like the perpetual feeling of never properly getting away.

It's very hard to compare jobs. Plenty of us will have been in jobs where we have worked all night (although I don't think it's wise to do that too much whatever job you're in) and the hours ou have to present are longer than teaching hours. Plenty of those jobs are much better paid than teaching. My older children are graduate age all their friends who pick taching know the score - low status low pay and very hard work and some still love to do it and others won't go near it. Quite a few do Teach First (particularly because graduate jobs are hard to get at present).

I think it also depends on your personality. Some people are perfectionists so work longer than they need. Others are new in the job. If you've been doing it a long time as my children's father you do then to have your plans done and systems set up so it's less work than it needs to be (and he managed head of d plus in effect a second job and more childcare than I did).