Teaching isn't compatible with parenting

[treehugga]

So you think there are short days and long holidays, well hollow laugh! Am I the only teaching 'widow'? My DP seems to spend all of his evenings and weekends working, which doesn't make me a smiley mummy this Mother's Day after yet another day of sole childcare while lessons get planned, reports written and whatever-else for the little darlings. Some mitigating points:

• when he's not working, he's usually great at domestic stuff and for this reason I count myself lucky
• he is a perfectionist
• I know one other teacher (who also works ridiculous hours) but maybe he's just avoiding family life.

So, put me straight, am I the only one or are there more?

My DH used to be a Head of Year in a big rough secondary school before Asst. headteacher.

In the time he used to drive home he would get about 20 emails..he would come in the door, open laptop immediatley and answer emails all night to the senior team until he went to bed.

He always said his heart dropped walking onto his classroom (core subject)as he was never on top of his classwork because the pastoral side just took over. Every lesson was interupted by someone knocking on his classroom door needing him to urgently attend to an incident or a phonecall etc Because he was a well respected teacher and experienced he could just about get off with it.

He worked 70hrs a week as a min. and had very stressful and draining days dealing with unco-operative parents, social services, EWO and senior team...oh and teaching Maths in amongst it all! Other than A-level, not one hour was spent on planning - if he spent evenings planning too, he would not have gone to bed. By the holidays he was so always so ill and looked like death warmed up.

As Asst. Head he does the same hours but has less contact in the classroom, earns more money and has a less stressful day, although huge responsibility which you can not switch off from easily.

googoomama do you really have to mark that many books every week? Seems crazy! Are you marking because your school says you have to or because you feel it's all helping your students to improve?
I don't mark as much as I should but I'm not going to beat myself up about it.

Those of you saying you spend hours and hours working at home and it's awful- do you enjoy the teaching? I just wonder why you carry on doing it when it comes across that you hate the job?!

I don't do it for the "short days" or "long holidays". I teach because I enjoy it. I'll prob always be 'just' a teacher.

Lots of people seem to end up doing jobs they don't like. Why don't they just change to something they do like in that case.

Both DH and I are teachers. I am currently on ML with DC1 and will return full time next term, but I'm leaving teaching this year. I'm already worried about how I will fit it all in, but I think I just have to be less dedicated to the job than I used to be. Ive already dropped my TLR. DH is HOD in a core subject and now starts at 6.30am to get work done so he is home by 5.30 most nights to do the bedtime routine, and then does another hour or two.

We both work in outstanding schools, where your total commitment is expected and it is quite normal to do a 60+ hour week. After school and holiday clubs/ revision etc is considered as part of the job and contacting parents/ chasing up pupils is another expected and time consuming requirement. it depends on the school and subject too, other schools I've worked in were not as pressured.

I think many teachers do work like this because of the kind of people who become teachers. Generally we are dedicated to the children and their education and genuinely care. It's not for the performance related pay and there are no bonuses for hitting your targets! I always viewed teaching as a vocation rather than a profession.

I'm thinking of returning at some point, but maybe as a TA or technician. Crap pay but less hassle and holidays for ease of childcare.

I am a HOD with 2 children aged 6 and 3. I usually have one late night due to parents eve/ extended meetings but otherwise I am home by 5.15. I live 5 mins away from where I teach so have no commuting time. I teach from year 7 to year 13 (inc A level) and have been teaching for 17 years.
I rarely bring work home, but I do get in very early twice a week to clear my desk. Reports are usually done at home because they take sooooooo long. I work through lunchtime and use my non contact time productively.
I would be furious if my partner could not organise their workload to spend a day with their family on Mothers' Day. They know well in advance that it is on the calendar.

I'm starting to not enjoy it tbh but we are reliant on my wage and round here there are 400+ applicants for every primary post advertised - so pretty much stuck for the time being! I would love to change schools

Left teaching for the same reason. Found that to be a great teacher, family suffers. To be a great mother/Father, teaching suffers.

It's a shame, but true that most teachers end up compromising a bit on both.

Caz10 - is it somewhere in Scotland? I have only ever heard my friends in Edinburgh/Glasgow talk about Primary jobs with that many applicants.

When I left my SW school for NW, 5 people applied. I was one of 65 for the job I went for. I was the 'lucky' one..not!

I think it makes a big difference what subject you teach. I agree that some subjects may require more marking etc, but my DH is HoD of a core subject. He is at school for 8.15am and leaves at 4.15pm. On Fridays he finishes at 12noon. He rarely brings work home. The long holidays are fantastic. I think this is very compatible with family life.

In the past I've sometimes heard teachers say "Oh everyone thinks we have an easy life, but sometimes I have 2 hours marking to do" and I can't help thinking "Hmm, so that must take you to about 5.30pm?"

Perhaps my DH is fortunate in the school / local authority, but I don't think you could generalise and say that teaching is not compatible with family life.

I don't understand why some people fixate on the marking. It's the planning. If you teach all day, you need to fit in all the planning. Unless some people always use set lesson plans. That would make things easier.

There are very significant differences in workload between subjects, between schools, and between different school roles. Teaching load is a major factor- some HoDs, for example, have a virtually full teaching timetable as well as a department with perhaps 20 staff and a core curriculum subject to manage. Some have significant management time built into their timetable, which makes a huge difference. Some school senior managers require teachers to spend a vast amount of time feeding minute details into vast databases of pupil progress etc; some have particularly rigid marking policies.

I used to teach in a secondary school. I reckon a rough guide for a FT class teacher is about 22 hours per week teaching, another 4 hours per week registration/ duties/ wet break supervision, average of maybe 2/3 hours per week meetings /parents evenings. Then , on average, an hour planning / generating resources/ preparing equipment/ SEN planning per hour teaching, so that's 22 hours; and another hour marking/ assessing/ recording/ data tracking per hour teaching so another 22 hours. Obviously some classes require less planning/ marking than others- a fairly standard y7 lesson might be planned and marked fairly quickly, whereas an A-level lesson might take 2 hours to prepare. I make that 70+ hours.

And I concur with Mr Liz's post .

An hour planning per lesson?! No wonder people are working for 70+ hours a week. Some teachers need to stop reinventing the wheel and use the ready made resources available to them or share resources in their departments. I teach 22 lessons a fortnight (out of a possible 30) and it takes me around 5 hours to plan and 5 hours to mark. My other 8 lessons are used to do my head of year role. Test marking, reports, coursework marking etc are extra in the evening/ weekend. There is absolutely no need to spend hours planning and marking as some of these teachers describe. In our school we are expected to mark each book after every six lessons- that's about fortnightly. It seems this 'rule' might be there to protect some teachers from themselves!!

I agree funnybumblebee.
Also, after 10 years of teaching, I have a large bank of resources and ideas and can plan pretty swiftly and incorporate new ideas with ease. It's just so natural now. I can plan a lesson to differentiate for all students because I know my students very well and I know what they all need.
However, my first 3 years of teaching were very, very difficult. It took some time to master time management and organisational skills.

NessyBay - yes, Scotland! We've had 3 vacancies in the past 5 years, 1st one was 80+. 2nd one 200+, 3rd one 400+. Terrifying, and we are a fairly small school, a recent vacancy at a bigger local school got 600+ application forms!!!

Funnybumblebee, the trouble with that I find is that you have to start again at each new stage, our HT likes to swap us around, so I've taught 3 stages in 4 years - starting from scratch each time!

It's not only teachers who work long hours / hard / late / at home you know!

Although reading some replies here you'd think they were :o

At least there's not much travel with teaching.

CurrySpice - you're right, teachers are not the only people who work long hours or at home.

But teachers do seem to often get told that their job is more compatible with family life than other jobs. Usually by people who've never tried it.

Well it really depends on the specific job but when i was a hod i worked at work till 6-7 pm every day to avoid bringing work home but it is not always possible to delegate- really depends upon the subject I think but to be honest 3 years in to a hod role is not long enough to make it more doable-i was still doing 50-55 hours a week so it really depends on the school/the dep. and the way he works. But now is one of the busiest tomes- if he is working like this may/june/july i would tend to think it may be more to do with his working style.

HOD is a whole different gig to just being a classroom teacher which can be done in 45 hrs a week. It is such an intense job so try to support him as much as you can until he gets it to be easier.

I'm sorry but I have done other jobs but no job did i work harder in than as a teacher. I have escaped it for now- looking after a baby is like a holiday compared to teaching.

Do they mitochondria? Cant say as I've ever noticed

Look, everyone is working their butts off, often on shifts, doing long hours, working at weekends and evenings and in general, they just get on with it

My DP is currently working 3000 miles away, 12 hours aday, 7 days aweek. That's not compatible with family life. But its the only job in his field out there so he's not moaning. Previous to that he worked shifts, days and nights. Perhaps you'd like to give not seeing your kids at all for months on end a try

I work from home which sounds super family friendly right? Well I just finished writing a report.And I will be up an hour before the kids to clear some emails to get a head start on the day

Working in any job interferes with family life. Get over it! Teachers aren't special in that even though they like to think they are. I'm not saying you don't work hard, I'm sure you do, but give it a rest with the moaning!!

I don't think teachers do think they are special, this was a thread specifically about work life balance for teachers. So it will be populated by teachers and they will be talking about their hours.

Oooo am I not allowed then? :o

Am I being made to stand in the corridor?

And I would disagree,teachers do think they're special - hence threadslike this :)

"Working in any job interferes with family life. Get over it! Teachers aren't special in that even though they like to think they are. I'm not saying you don't work hard, I'm sure you do, but give it a rest with the moaning!!"

Yes, the job of educating the next generation and hellping them to be positive contributor's to our nation is not a great or special one that can be in any way more demanding or a heavier responsibility to bear at times than other jobs We should all just get over ourselves and stop moaning.

I actually think good teachers are very under appreciated and do not think they are special because society does not value them enough for them to recognise their own worth and what they do for our young people every day.